Firing an employee tomorrow and I’m dreading it

[Anonymous]

Do it now. So many times I’ve seen employees just left alone rather than dealt with bc it’s “too hard” or “mean”. They rarely get better.

Fed supervisor who had no problem putting non performers on PIPs.

[Anonymous]

I have ADHD and I would never act like this with a supervisor. It is on her to communicate what she needs and manage her ADHD on her own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks PPs. I’m curious what in my posts leads people to conclude she’s unstable? She is, but that’s not why I’m firing her and I tried not to emphasize her mental health in my description. Truthfully, I do feel there are red flags. The CEO will be present and will lead the proceedings. I’ll present factual documentation in writing without discussion. We’ve engaged HR and received legal advice on the grounds and manner of termination.

Does not apply feedback, walked out on a meeting to complain to higher up, others warn not to trust her, betrayed your trust. This is not indicative of a healthy stable person.

[Anonymous]

Have a script. It will help you stay on target and make you feel more in control. Good that the CEO will be there, but you should have HR too.

[Anonymous]

How'd it go, OP?

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone. OP here. It's done. Here's how it went down:

CEO and I met her in a conference room. HR was not there but prepared the paperwork. CEO had a prepared script and got straight to the point. I had a signed letter justifying cause ("missed deadlines" with several examples). She read this silently and wanted to discuss, but CEO shut her down and said we won't be discussing the reasons but were providing them for her reference. The reasons provided were the tip of the iceberg, but the easiest to prove objectively.

CEO then went over next steps (turning in computer and keys) and told her that we would protect her privacy and refrain from discussing the specifics of her separation. She made arrangements to pick up her personal belongings with an HR escort after hours. I thanked her for her contributions and wished her well. CEO directed her to HR to follow up with questions.

She was fairly composed. I think she was numb. I know she was surprised, but not sure why. Every example of a missed deadline was discussed with her previously, but she often struggled to process feedback. I wouldn't be surprised if she fights back, but I hope not.

I feel sad but relieved the confrontation is over - like an enormous weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Thanks everyone!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This won’t be a surprise. She’s received negative feedback for missing deadlines and not taking direction. She often notes ADHD as the cause, but she’s never requested accommodations or shared an official diagnosis. As the parent of a child with ADHD, I’ve done what I could to provide clear direction and support anyway, including regular check-ins, clear feedback, and written instructions. Our CEO has expressed frustration to me about her and fully backs this decision.

One additional cause: During a verbal discussion when I gave her feedback on several missed deadlines and misleading status reports, she walked out of our meeting mid-conversation and went to the CEO, my boss, to complain about my failure to manage her time better. My boss recommended firing her for cause and at that point, I was done making excuses for her.

You 100% have cause here. I think you will find it easy to separate your feelings from the decision when she tries to file a complaint of some sort. It's almost part of the course with people with no self-awareness like her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does she own guns?

Is this a joke or a serious question?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a senior manager who’s never had to fire an employee for cause until now. I have no doubt it’s the right thing to do but it feels rotten.

The employee is creative, committed, and hard working but struggles to meet deadlines, collaborate well with others, often shows poor judgement, does not apply feedback, and disrespects my role as her supervisor. Several managers have warned me not to trust her, and while I’ve tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, she has betrayed my trust on several occasions.

Although I have ample cause to fire her, I’m having a very hard time with this decision. She’s had a tough life and it’s about to get much tougher.

For those of you who’ve done this before, how do you separate your feelings from your duty? Does it get easier?

Has she been on a pip?

[Anonymous]

OP, is there a song you could play her that would communicate your feelings? I am thinking of You're Fired by TiaCorine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. OP here. It's done. Here's how it went down:

CEO and I met her in a conference room. HR was not there but prepared the paperwork. CEO had a prepared script and got straight to the point. I had a signed letter justifying cause ("missed deadlines" with several examples). She read this silently and wanted to discuss, but CEO shut her down and said we won't be discussing the reasons but were providing them for her reference. The reasons provided were the tip of the iceberg, but the easiest to prove objectively.

CEO then went over next steps (turning in computer and keys) and told her that we would protect her privacy and refrain from discussing the specifics of her separation. She made arrangements to pick up her personal belongings with an HR escort after hours. I thanked her for her contributions and wished her well. CEO directed her to HR to follow up with questions.

She was fairly composed. I think she was numb. I know she was surprised, but not sure why. Every example of a missed deadline was discussed with her previously, but she often struggled to process feedback. I wouldn't be surprised if she fights back, but I hope not.

I feel sad but relieved the confrontation is over - like an enormous weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Thanks everyone!

Might be blessing for her. My one job we let go 80 percent of the company when bought out including me. It was shocking how some people like me took it really bad and others was like thanks. You never know. Sounds like you did it well. Not worth even thinking about it anymore. Mabye it is best for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. OP here. It's done. Here's how it went down:

CEO and I met her in a conference room. HR was not there but prepared the paperwork. CEO had a prepared script and got straight to the point. I had a signed letter justifying cause ("missed deadlines" with several examples). She read this silently and wanted to discuss, but CEO shut her down and said we won't be discussing the reasons but were providing them for her reference. The reasons provided were the tip of the iceberg, but the easiest to prove objectively.

CEO then went over next steps (turning in computer and keys) and told her that we would protect her privacy and refrain from discussing the specifics of her separation. She made arrangements to pick up her personal belongings with an HR escort after hours. I thanked her for her contributions and wished her well. CEO directed her to HR to follow up with questions.

She was fairly composed. I think she was numb. I know she was surprised, but not sure why. Every example of a missed deadline was discussed with her previously, but she often struggled to process feedback. I wouldn't be surprised if she fights back, but I hope not.

I feel sad but relieved the confrontation is over - like an enormous weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Thanks everyone!

I went through this as a manager. Be prepared that this could be the calm before the storm. I had an employee keep her composure when we fired her and I was so relieved. A few months later, I got a letter from her lawyers that resulted in a 3 year lawsuit. My company won, but it was painful and demoralizing.

[Anonymous]

That’s awful PP. I’m sorry that happened to you. I’m concerned this isn’t the end but can only hope for the best. I have lengthy documentation that the CEO and I shared with HR when we decided which route to take - layoff, involuntary resignation, or termination with cause. As her supervisor, I advocated for the gentlest option, but HR advised termination with cause. She was not on a PIP, but because our state is at-will, HR took the risk of a quick termination given trust issues.