24 Year Old DD with ASD Doesn’t Want to Leave the House

[Anonymous]

That's agoraphobia

[Anonymous]

I am PP with an ASD teen and ASD family member with school refusal and issues with going out.

I understand that there is autistic burnout and most experts mostly recommend “time” to heal and recharge.

I do not believe your DD is in autistic burnout; she is crippled by anxiety. It is a moot point whether she is neurodivergent, OCD, etc.

She needs to be medicated and she needs essentially, exposure therapy. As someone with OCD, (we have great genetics!) she must not be allowed to continue with her avoidance tactics. Allowing that is reinforcing the behavior and making it worse.

I understand making a person with autism do something they don’t want to do, is all but impossible. However, you can leverage your good relationship with her. You need to set some ground rules or create a contract that specifies an improvement plan. Her choice to start. What is it going to be? She can choose: 1) get back on medication 2) go back to therapy 3) go out of the house x number of times a week and where. This should be tied to something. Internet and phone access? If she refuses then perhaps she needs an outpatient program? You need to tell her that things cannot continue this way. You are enabling her.

At the very least, you should set up an appointment for yourself with a medical provider to discuss how to tackle this. Join AANE. https://aane.org/ You post in the message boards or set up an appointment with a provider.

I wish you the best of luck and my heart goes out to your DD.

[Anonymous]

^^^ me again. I wanted to highlight this service from AANE:

Coaching for Autistic Adults & Teens
https://aane.org/services-programs/one-to-one-services/

I highly recommend you visit the site.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't allow them to use their disability as a crutch.

This and she needs a remote job asap

[Anonymous]

Covid were the best years of my life. I have asd and loved not leaving the house.

That said I maintain a job now although my work history is fraught with sudden resignations and disappearances from work (I have walked out of a few jobs and not gone back) which I outgrew when I had kids that need me employed.

She can work, just has to try and put her mind to it! She can do it!

[Anonymous]

DBT & meds.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like your daughter has significant anxieties about leaving the house. When someone with anxiety engages in avoidance, it only worsens the anxiety. If she can’t manage getting out on her own, then she needs behavioral health support.

You also need to set boundaries. Your goal should be greater independence for your child (or complete independence if her level of disability will allow it). You can set conditions for living in the family home—participating in therapy, volunteering x times per week, and/or taking a part-time job. Help your child to be more self-sufficient and establish healthy connections.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am PP with an ASD teen and ASD family member with school refusal and issues with going out.

I understand that there is autistic burnout and most experts mostly recommend “time” to heal and recharge.

I do not believe your DD is in autistic burnout; she is crippled by anxiety. It is a moot point whether she is neurodivergent, OCD, etc.

She needs to be medicated and she needs essentially, exposure therapy. As someone with OCD, (we have great genetics!) she must not be allowed to continue with her avoidance tactics. Allowing that is reinforcing the behavior and making it worse.

I understand making a person with autism do something they don’t want to do, is all but impossible. However, you can leverage your good relationship with her. You need to set some ground rules or create a contract that specifies an improvement plan. Her choice to start. What is it going to be? She can choose: 1) get back on medication 2) go back to therapy 3) go out of the house x number of times a week and where. This should be tied to something. Internet and phone access? If she refuses then perhaps she needs an outpatient program? You need to tell her that things cannot continue this way. You are enabling her.

At the very least, you should set up an appointment for yourself with a medical provider to discuss how to tackle this. Join AANE. https://aane.org/ You post in the message boards or set up an appointment with a provider.

I wish you the best of luck and my heart goes out to your DD.

+1

This is good advice

[Anonymous]

She can do it , start small.

[Anonymous]

Is she looking to do more school?

[Anonymous]

Why are you treating her like a child OP?

[Anonymous]

OP, this is what your child with ASD is basically saying to you.