When you separated/ divorced - were you sad or relieved?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:About to separate and I just feel so sad about it. And angry that this is how things turned out and this is my life now, and it’s going to be so much harder as a result. How did you feel when it happened?

Happy as a clam!
Anonymous
Both.

My husband, who I loved and continue to love, developed severe mental illness. I took my promiste to stand by him "in sickness and in health" and never imagined I would leave him due to illness, but he became abusive to me, and to my children. So, I had to choose, and I chose the kids.

Once we got to the point where I felt like my kids were safe, I felt relief, but also profound sadness.
Anonymous
Both.

My husband, who I loved and continue to love, developed severe mental illness. I took my promiste to stand by him "in sickness and in health" and never imagined I would leave him due to illness, but he became abusive to me, and to my children. So, I had to choose, and I chose the kids.

Once we got to the point where I felt like my kids were safe, I felt relief, but also profound sadness.
Anonymous
Relief.

I had discovered him cheating 3 years prior. We tried to make it work, but I couldn’t trust him and lived with the constant anxiety he’d do it again.

When I discovered cheating again, I felt relieved that now the decision was made for me. I knew the answer and could move on.
Anonymous
Both.

My husband, who I loved and continue to love, developed severe mental illness. I took my promiste to stand by him "in sickness and in health" and never imagined I would leave him due to illness, but he became abusive to me, and to my children. So, I had to choose, and I chose the kids.

Once we got to the point where I felt like my kids were safe, I felt relief, but also profound sadness.


I am sorry this happened to you.

I had to divorce my XDW because she became an alcoholic and would not help help herself.

It did not happen all at once. Instead, it became a little worse every year and way worse once our kids went to college.
Anonymous
He initiated when I confronted him about his affair. I was actually hugely relieved when he immediately said he wanted a divorce. That being said the divorce process has been and continues to be brutal which I will never understand and don't try to. I think I hurt his ego when I agreed that divorcing was a good idea, and then he was out for blood. Despite that, I'm still relieved I don't live with him anymore. When I'm feeling generous I feel a little sorry for his AP that he is now her problem.
Anonymous
I filed so I was relieved that I no longer had him as a romantic life partner. But sad and angry as others mentioned that’s how my life turned out, and how other people treated me as a divorcee (surprise!)

But now my quality of life is so much better and due to the happiness set point I’m back to being happy. Whereas I don’t think my ex is capable of ever being happy.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I filed so I was relieved that I no longer had him as a romantic life partner. But sad and angry as others mentioned that’s how my life turned out, and how other people treated me as a divorcee (surprise!)

But now my quality of life is so much better and due to the happiness set point I’m back to being happy. Whereas I don’t think my ex is capable of ever being happy.


I am sorry! How old are you? Kids still around? Hope you find someone else soon!
Anonymous
I was 100% relieved. I was with a verbaly abusive alcoholic, and was stoked to get out of the relationship. Create a healthy home for my kids for 50% of the time. Forced him to get better too and change his ways ultimately.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I felt a range of emotions. I was married for 24 years. The alimony for life helps make me less sad.


How were you able to get a lifetime alimony?



20 is the magic number…


why is 20 the magic number
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