Anonymous wrote:I'm sure these groups of friends have Snapchat threads. That is how my private school son and all his classmates have communicated throughout high school. He is part of several very large groups and a number of smaller groups. If someone is doing something, they snap the group. Then whoever is available comes and hangs out. It's pretty casual and honestly the opposite of exclusionary. In my experience, girls can be very organized and exclusionary "I'm inviting these 3 people and not you" but boys are are lot more spontaneous and random. Then the more you you, the more you're invited when smaller groups are created. You really have to insert yourself into the whole scene. My son struggled with this freshman year but then a year later he was part of the whole mix. It takes a lot of insertion. Boys are not thinking "oh, we should invite John, he may feel left out." But neither are they thinking "oh we should actively NOT invite John, he's going to ruin the group dynamic." They're just not thinking much about any of it. So it takes active insertion.
OP, how does your son communicate with these kids?
Ha. Agree, they will NEVER think, “oh we should invite John. He might feel left out.”
But they might think, “John has no chill,” and never text or respond to him.
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