Why is it ok to comment on someone's weight loss, but not their weight gain?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my opinion, I don't think it's ok to comment on either, or to comment on people's bodies in general.

But it's astounding how many people will comment on someone's weight loss, but not weight gain. Why is one more "acceptable" (to some) over the other?

Well obviously, because most people think weight loss is good and weight loss is bad so commenting on something good is okay and commenting on something bad is not. I agree with you people should not comment on weight loss for a whole host of reasons, but the reason one happens and the other doesn't is pretty obvious, no?

(and no, I do not agree with the premise that all weight loss is good and all weight gain is bad, but there is that general sentiment.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm waiting for someone to compliment me and then I get to tell them it's the cancer. Don't comment on other people's bodies.

I have seen this happen with two different people! One was a colleague so I saw it happen multiple times with him. He did not always mention the cancer/chemo, but when he did it was quite awkward. I bet it taught at least a few people to shut their trap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean people work very hard to lose weight. I want it recognized

Not me. I'm working on it for myself and my health, not for anyone's approval.

[Anonymous]

If someone volunteers that they have lost or gained weight (and are happy about it), I will affirm/validate, but otherwise do not comment on bodies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: If someone volunteers that they have lost or gained weight (and are happy about it), I will affirm/validate, but otherwise do not comment on bodies.

+1

[Anonymous]

I’ve been all over the place with my weight but most of us want others to notice and recognize when we’ve put in hard work to improve ourselves. It’s very affirming and validating.

If I know the person well, and I know they’ve been putting in that work, I will positively comment on how their efforts are paying off and how great and healthy they look. If I don’t know the person well I keep my mouth shut. Not all weight loss is good, even if the person was fat before. Most people I know would rather be fat and healthy rather than skinny due to cancer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm waiting for someone to compliment me and then I get to tell them it's the cancer. Don't comment on other people's bodies.

Or you could appreciate a tiny silver lining. A positive attitude has shown real effects in overcoming cancer.

[Anonymous]

I've never understood why it's okay to comment on weight loss but not other things. "you look great, Sam. Have you lost weight?" "Yeah, a little bit. How bout that botox you had though? Or was it laser? And did you have your boobs done? A Brazilian butt lift?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because people look better when they're less overweight.

That's the truth.

It's rarely the case that someone is going to lose too much weight. If they did, they wouldn't be complimented either. Too thin is also a bad look, but let's be honest, it doesn't happen very often.

That's also assuming the weight loss was intentional. That's why you don't comment on people's bodies, you have no idea what's going on. It's pretty easy to just find something else to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been all over the place with my weight but most of us want others to notice and recognize when we’ve put in hard work to improve ourselves. It’s very affirming and validating.

If I know the person well, and I know they’ve been putting in that work, I will positively comment on how their efforts are paying off and how great and healthy they look. If I don’t know the person well I keep my mouth shut. Not all weight loss is good, even if the person was fat before. Most people I know would rather be fat and healthy rather than skinny due to cancer.

I think if you want validation for weight loss then the appropriate thing is to share with people that it's intentional and bring it up yourself. That lets them know it's something you are comfortable discussing. All this means is you have friends and family that see you as a whole person, not just your appearance, which is lovely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because people look better when they're less overweight.

That's the truth.

It's rarely the case that someone is going to lose too much weight. If they did, they wouldn't be complimented either. Too thin is also a bad look, but let's be honest, it doesn't happen very often.

That's also assuming the weight loss was intentional. That's why you don't comment on people's bodies, you have no idea what's going on. It's pretty easy to just find something else to say.

This.

You also should not comment on people who gain weight.

It doesn't matter if the person lost weight unintentionally, like if you worry that they're sick. Do you comment on people who gain weight unintentionally? Tell them they look fat and ask how their mental health and stress are?

Or, if they gained weight intentionally to try and put a little meat on.

It's absolutely rude to comment on weight any which way - gain or loss, unless the person brings it up first. I've been both obese and thin, and it's astonishing how many people think your body is for their comments.

[Anonymous]

People tell me how thin I am all the time, Neither is okay.