Has anyone held off retiring because they don't want to spend tons of time with their spouse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is just sad. Why not retire and synchronize your schedules to improve your relationship. Do travel, hobbies and volunteering together to keep yourselves active and engaged.

I want to travel and volunteer. My husband has been retired for over 4 years and is not interested in either. He likes to bike and drink and surf right wing content on his iPad. My hobbies besides volunteering are bookclub, pickleball, and going out with friends.

So you can retire and travel and volunteer, and he can stay home if he's not interested in joining you. You don't need work as an excuse to avoid him.

Or are you worried that he'll try and tag along, and run your experience?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is just sad. Why not retire and synchronize your schedules to improve your relationship. Do travel, hobbies and volunteering together to keep yourselves active and engaged.

I want to travel and volunteer. My husband has been retired for over 4 years and is not interested in either. He likes to bike and drink and surf right wing content on his iPad. My hobbies besides volunteering are bookclub, pickleball, and going out with friends.

So you can retire and travel and volunteer, and he can stay home if he's not interested in joining you. You don't need work as an excuse to avoid him.

Or are you worried that he'll try and tag along, and run your experience?

No he won't ruin the travel experience, it's just so awkward though.

[Anonymous]

Work until I die. Don't wanna spend any more time with her than I have to. Too much stress and depression.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's pretty wild OP. We both retired same time because we wanted to spend more time together. I can't even imagine...

OP here. H has been retired over 4 years and hasn't done a blessed thing. No solo travel, no volunteering. A lot of bike riding and drinking. I would rather be at the office.

A lot of bike riding and drinking -> sounds like doing something to me.

maybe you should go back to work and let your H enjoy himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My spouse and I are both retired (early) and we just lead largely separate lives. It works for us. No way in hell I'd keep working just to avoid a spouse. You shouldn't let any other human being have that much power over you. You only have one life.

I continue to work in anticipation of a private equity exit. I'm not working to avoid my spouse. Once I'm done with my current job, i'm wondering if I should get another one or develop a serious volunteer commitment to avoid spending too much time with my spouse. He likes to go long stretches without talking, he and I do not share the same political views, I am higher energy. I enjoy him in small doses, like for 3 hours a night, but worry about unlimited time. You know the saying, "I married for better or worse, but not for lunch"?

You're contradicting yourself. You say you're not working to avoid your spouse, then you say you'd keep working to avoid your spouse.

Her husband is avoiding her because she had a split personality disorder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Live separately but get condos in same neighborhood to visit each other and do joint activities when you both feel like it.

The problem with this is that you are essentially single. And at a certain point, one or the other may find someone else. Especially a spouse who historically had most domestic stuff taken care of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Work until I die. Don't wanna spend any more time with her than I have to. Too much stress and depression.

Dayum.

[Anonymous]

I'd divorce someone who retired to sit around surfing MAGA crap online. Life's too short.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd divorce someone who retired to sit around surfing MAGA crap online. Life's too short.

I did. Agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's pretty wild OP. We both retired same time because we wanted to spend more time together. I can't even imagine...

OP here. H has been retired over 4 years and hasn't done a blessed thing. No solo travel, no volunteering. A lot of bike riding and drinking. I would rather be at the office.

Stay busy whether retired or not.

Use it or lose it (muscles, curiosity, brain, skills, conversating, etc.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My spouse and I are both retired (early) and we just lead largely separate lives. It works for us. No way in hell I'd keep working just to avoid a spouse. You shouldn't let any other human being have that much power over you. You only have one life.

I continue to work in anticipation of a private equity exit. I'm not working to avoid my spouse. Once I'm done with my current job, i'm wondering if I should get another one or develop a serious volunteer commitment to avoid spending too much time with my spouse. He likes to go long stretches without talking, he and I do not share the same political views, I am higher energy. I enjoy him in small doses, like for 3 hours a night, but worry about unlimited time. You know the saying, "I married for better or worse, but not for lunch"?

lol this is an amazing quote!

Attributed to Maryon Pearson, spouse of a Canadian prime minister who had just retired

That's an old saying. My friend's late mother used to say, "I married you for better or for worse but not for retirement "

[Anonymous]

I enjoy time reconnecting with DH.

I will work until I can’t because it’s what I enjoy too. I find comfort in some purpose greater than myself. Something I contribute to accomplishing however small.

I’m not avoiding him, I’m avoiding the reality the arc of life - death. There is beauty in living and feeling alive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I enjoy time reconnecting with DH.

I will work until I can’t because it’s what I enjoy too. I find comfort in some purpose greater than myself. Something I contribute to accomplishing however small.

I’m not avoiding him, I’m avoiding the reality the arc of life - death. There is beauty in living and feeling alive.

You can’t avoid death!

[Anonymous]

My spouse retired four years ago and has not done squat - just sitting around and playing with her phone. I have tons of activities planned when I retire, including a part time job. Nothing is going to stop me after 40 years in the workforce

[Anonymous]

Anyone held off coming home on time or before 6:30pm or 7pm or 8pm in order to skip kid stuff or dinner stuff?