Has anyone held off retiring because they don't want to spend tons of time with their spouse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My spouse and I are both retired (early) and we just lead largely separate lives. It works for us. No way in hell I'd keep working just to avoid a spouse. You shouldn't let any other human being have that much power over you. You only have one life.

I continue to work in anticipation of a private equity exit. I'm not working to avoid my spouse. Once I'm done with my current job, i'm wondering if I should get another one or develop a serious volunteer commitment to avoid spending too much time with my spouse. He likes to go long stretches without talking, he and I do not share the same political views, I am higher energy. I enjoy him in small doses, like for 3 hours a night, but worry about unlimited time. You know the saying, "I married for better or worse, but not for lunch"?

You're contradicting yourself. You say you're not working to avoid your spouse, then you say you'd keep working to avoid your spouse.

The reason I continue working at my current job is not spouse-related. The reason I wonder about retiring for good IS spouse-related.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My spouse and I are both retired (early) and we just lead largely separate lives. It works for us. No way in hell I'd keep working just to avoid a spouse. You shouldn't let any other human being have that much power over you. You only have one life.

I continue to work in anticipation of a private equity exit. I'm not working to avoid my spouse. Once I'm done with my current job, i'm wondering if I should get another one or develop a serious volunteer commitment to avoid spending too much time with my spouse. He likes to go long stretches without talking, he and I do not share the same political views, I am higher energy. I enjoy him in small doses, like for 3 hours a night, but worry about unlimited time. You know the saying, "I married for better or worse, but not for lunch"?

lol this is an amazing quote!

[Anonymous]

This is just sad. Why not retire and synchronize your schedules to improve your relationship. Do travel, hobbies and volunteering together to keep yourselves active and engaged.

[Anonymous]

Many women use work as an excuse to avoid raising children, doing housework, spending time with husband or socialize with in-laws. This isn't something new. It's an easy way out.

[Anonymous]

*men too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is just sad. Why not retire and synchronize your schedules to improve your relationship. Do travel, hobbies and volunteering together to keep yourselves active and engaged.

In most cases the slower spouse just doesn’t want to make an effort to live more active life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many women use work as an excuse to avoid raising children, doing housework, spending time with husband or socialize with in-laws. This isn't something new. It's an easy way out.

Men use it way more often it’s the classics.

[Anonymous]

This is wild!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is just sad. Why not retire and synchronize your schedules to improve your relationship. Do travel, hobbies and volunteering together to keep yourselves active and engaged.

I want to travel and volunteer. My husband has been retired for over 4 years and is not interested in either. He likes to bike and drink and surf right wing content on his iPad. My hobbies besides volunteering are bookclub, pickleball, and going out with friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is just sad. Why not retire and synchronize your schedules to improve your relationship. Do travel, hobbies and volunteering together to keep yourselves active and engaged.

In most cases the slower spouse just doesn’t want to make an effort to live more active life.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My spouse and I are both retired (early) and we just lead largely separate lives. It works for us. No way in hell I'd keep working just to avoid a spouse. You shouldn't let any other human being have that much power over you. You only have one life.

I continue to work in anticipation of a private equity exit. I'm not working to avoid my spouse. Once I'm done with my current job, i'm wondering if I should get another one or develop a serious volunteer commitment to avoid spending too much time with my spouse. He likes to go long stretches without talking, he and I do not share the same political views, I am higher energy. I enjoy him in small doses, like for 3 hours a night, but worry about unlimited time. You know the saying, "I married for better or worse, but not for lunch"?

lol this is an amazing quote!

Attributed to Maryon Pearson, spouse of a Canadian prime minister who had just retired

[Anonymous]

We had a mini-retirement together during October and part of November last year for some reason. It was an adjustment but even when both of us were home we were able to give each other space when necessary.

[Anonymous]

I hear you, OP! While I don’t plan to work longer to avoid being with DH 24/7, I am somewhat dreading it (I’m about 2 years from retiring).

My DH will be like a toddler, following me around, wanting me to “play” with him, and he thinks hobbies are group activities. So my plan is to have a schedule worked out where I get a fair amount of time to myself away from the house. Joining a gym, taking some classes, meeting friends for lunch, and establishing some boundaries about what I expect for *my* retirement.

[Anonymous]

Live separately but get condos in same neighborhood to visit each other and do joint activities when you both feel like it.

[Anonymous]

Oh yes, this happens. I worked with someone who was avoiding retirement in order to be out of the house away from her retired husband. She finally went at 70 after a lot of prodding from him. Thank goodness too.