Is this someone being polite or feigning polite concern and actually prying…

[Anonymous]

OP. Thanks everyone for the perspectives! To clarify it was not me but a dear friend, out with her SO, and SO’s parents (who I guess you’d call acquaintances now) at the dinner. My friend’s relative has been dx’ed with cancer. And the SOs mother was asking the questions. I’m not entirely sure how my friend responded to each question (detailed vs vague) but I do know at one point she expressed her discomfort at the conversation being had and excused herself to go to the bathroom. I think the newness of the dx might have had something to do with her reaction to the conversation. I also think the comments about reading the room, yenta behavior, rolodexing in the mind for help, and tragedy vulture are also in play from what I know about the SOs mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of older people love the medical talk. I don’t think you should automatically assume bad intentions.

I don't agree, but its likely they are also immersed in it

[Anonymous]

Just say you aren't comfortable discussing the topic in detail. Questioner can then blurt out or say privately they have same cancer, they know great oncologist for that etc. or just stfu.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. Thanks everyone for the perspectives! To clarify it was not me but a dear friend, out with her SO, and SO’s parents (who I guess you’d call acquaintances now) at the dinner. My friend’s relative has been dx’ed with cancer. And the SOs mother was asking the questions. I’m not entirely sure how my friend responded to each question (detailed vs vague) but I do know at one point she expressed her discomfort at the conversation being had and excused herself to go to the bathroom. I think the newness of the dx might have had something to do with her reaction to the conversation. I also think the comments about reading the room, yenta behavior, rolodexing in the mind for help, and tragedy vulture are also in play from what I know about the SOs mother.

This was an older Jewish mother from
NYC who knows a ton of drs and is herself well educated and was trying to help but tends not to have a lot of boundaries right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. Thanks everyone for the perspectives! To clarify it was not me but a dear friend, out with her SO, and SO’s parents (who I guess you’d call acquaintances now) at the dinner. My friend’s relative has been dx’ed with cancer. And the SOs mother was asking the questions. I’m not entirely sure how my friend responded to each question (detailed vs vague) but I do know at one point she expressed her discomfort at the conversation being had and excused herself to go to the bathroom. I think the newness of the dx might have had something to do with her reaction to the conversation. I also think the comments about reading the room, yenta behavior, rolodexing in the mind for help, and tragedy vulture are also in play from what I know about the SOs mother.

This was an older Jewish mother from
NYC who knows a ton of drs and is herself well educated and was trying to help but tends not to have a lot of boundaries right?

OP. Yesssss! I think so! I’m trying to get my close friend to see it that way lol