Would you date a man who has no friends but willing to make new friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, he's probably on the spectrum, and even though having no friends isn't that big of a deal, it's the rest of the spectrum-y behaviors and outlook that might pose a problem in your relationship later.

This is my husband. He has no friends. He enjoys the company of my friends. This is not a problem at all. But some of his other autism-related behavioral issues have been difficult to manage: he can get very stubborn and fixated on certain things, he can over-react or under-react in certain situations because he doesn't quite understand what the standard emotional reaction should be... that sort of thing.

Ah autism autism autism autism autism lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. My husband didn't have any friends. He had zero friends. But when he is totally normal and social around people. He just enjoys being by himself a lot. But when are together we are inseparable. We have 3 kids married 20 years.

+1 but only 1 kid

He is very grounded and emotionally intelligent. He had/has quiet wealth, so a lot of people couldn't afford to do the things he enjoyed, and those that could he didn't really get along with. He is very social, but guarded as to who he lets get very close. He enjoys being with me, but is not hounding me if we aren't together.

+1. You described my husband. Interestingly my husband is an amazing dancer. Sometimes I know he doesn't want to go out to some social events, but you wouldn't guess it when you see him socializing. And he doesn't complain about it later. I am more socially outgoing than him. But we found a good balance that works for us.

Even though my husband doesn't have friends he volunteers a lot. He tutors underprivileged kids in math. He is a good man. He is jut not the type who will sing karaoke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, he's probably on the spectrum, and even though having no friends isn't that big of a deal, it's the rest of the spectrum-y behaviors and outlook that might pose a problem in your relationship later.

This is my husband. He has no friends. He enjoys the company of my friends. This is not a problem at all. But some of his other autism-related behavioral issues have been difficult to manage: he can get very stubborn and fixated on certain things, he can over-react or under-react in certain situations because he doesn't quite understand what the standard emotional reaction should be... that sort of thing.

Ah autism autism autism autism autism lol

Tell me about it.

[Anonymous]

I would want to dig deeper, but unless it’s a symptom of something bigger, it would probably be fine with me. I only have a few close friends rather than a lot of friends and I generally hate parties where a lot of small talk is required, so I get along well with people like me who don't need want a big friend group.

[Anonymous]

He probably has at least 1 person he talks to. It could be his dad. It could be his mom. It could be his singling. It could his coworker. I could he his therapist. I could be 1 friend he grew up with. That person exists though.

Now if this guy doesn't even talk to his mother, don't walk run.

[Anonymous]

A friend is someone who will help you bury a body without asking any questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A friend is someone who will help you bury a body without asking any questions.

That's an enemy lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He probably has at least 1 person he talks to. It could be his dad. It could be his mom. It could be his singling. It could his coworker. I could he his therapist. I could be 1 friend he grew up with. That person exists though.

Now if this guy doesn't even talk to his mother, don't walk run.

+1. I don't think a human can live without ever interacting with another human.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, he's probably on the spectrum, and even though having no friends isn't that big of a deal, it's the rest of the spectrum-y behaviors and outlook that might pose a problem in your relationship later.

This is my husband. He has no friends. He enjoys the company of my friends. This is not a problem at all. But some of his other autism-related behavioral issues have been difficult to manage: he can get very stubborn and fixated on certain things, he can over-react or under-react in certain situations because he doesn't quite understand what the standard emotional reaction should be... that sort of thing.

Ah autism autism autism autism autism lol

Tell me about it.

Yep. Giant red flag. And it took me 25 years to figure out the autism, thats how much i was, i dunno, in denial, settling, but it was all there at the beginning including no real friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I am glad I didn't listen to you guys when I met my wife. She had zero friends, none. She turned out to be an incredible wife. She does make an effort to go out with me and I appreciate that.

Or, are you guys saying that only a man with no friends is a red flag?

I bet you she has close relationships with her family. I am very close with my sisters and a few cousins. They are my friends ( I still have a couple of very close friends outside my family though).

Any person, man or woman, who does not have friendships is an issue. It shows they lack relationship building skills amd it will bleed into their relationships with their spouse.

[Anonymous]

It does not matter. My brother does not have friends. He works hard and is dedicated to his family. He is a a multimillionaire.

[Anonymous]

Who cares?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. My husband didn't have any friends. He had zero friends. But when he is totally normal and social around people. He just enjoys being by himself a lot. But when are together we are inseparable. We have 3 kids married 20 years.

+1 but only 1 kid

He is very grounded and emotionally intelligent. He had/has quiet wealth, so a lot of people couldn't afford to do the things he enjoyed, and those that could he didn't really get along with. He is very social, but guarded as to who he lets get very close. He enjoys being with me, but is not hounding me if we aren't together.

“He had/has quiet wealth, so a lot of people couldn't afford to do the things he enjoyed, and those that could”


This was, indirectly, the most honest response.

Man with good career/money and no friends = mysterious eccentric, need to delve deeper to evaluate him properly

Broke-ass man with no friends = Broke-ass man with no friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I am glad I didn't listen to you guys when I met my wife. She had zero friends, none. She turned out to be an incredible wife. She does make an effort to go out with me and I appreciate that.

Or, are you guys saying that only a man with no friends is a red flag?

Red flag for both men and women. Being able to build and maintain friendships is an essential social skill. The inability to do so is often a sign of a disorder of some kind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I am glad I didn't listen to you guys when I met my wife. She had zero friends, none. She turned out to be an incredible wife. She does make an effort to go out with me and I appreciate that.

Or, are you guys saying that only a man with no friends is a red flag?

Red flag for both men and women. Being able to build and maintain friendships is an essential social skill. The inability to do so is often a sign of a disorder of some kind.

It may be. But, just because someone doesn’t have friends doesn’t mean they are unable to or don’t want them. And I know someone who makes friends easily, but the turnover rate is higher than a Mumbai call center.

Also, there are seasons to your life. The same person may go through long periods where they keep to themselves, and other periods where they are more social.