Charisma is a damaging lie

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I didn't say all charismatic people are bad. I said that they can be bad, and the charisma will conceal what is negative about them, and this is dangerous.

My suggestion is simply to remember this fact and not be taken in by charisma when someone has not properly proven themselves through their deeds. Regarding Trump, something my DH often says is to not listen to what he says, just look at what he does. It's good advice. Sometimes we are all too easily swayed by the appearance of intelligence, competence, or leadership, and it results in poor choices and regret.

The problem here is that you think Trump is charismatic. He's a populist.

Trump is charismatic. He used to be more so. He uses bombast and humor to catch people off guard and sway them to his side, even when he's being transparently selfish. He absolutely used charisma to build his real estate empire, relying on an outsized confidence and conviction of his own value to get people to give him what he wants. He has used his charisma to charm women, investors, the media, and the American public into giving him things he would not otherwise deserve. Sure, he sometimes utilizes populism to accomplish this, but not always -- his tariffs, for instance, are nearly universally disliked, and yet he persists.

A lot of you are struggling with this because you think of charisma as a positive quality, because you have felt that warm glow of being near a charismatic person and feeling their light shine on you. THAT'S THE WHOLE PROBLEM. Charisma is a trick. Sure, there may be some benevolent people who use their charisma for good, to do good works. But mostly not, because most people are not benevolent. Most people are selfish, self-centered, and a little bit stupid. So most charisma gets used for advancing individual interests, most of which are not great. Trump is an extreme example but not an outlier.

Virtually everyone who knows Trump despises him. He's not charismatic.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know.. I know several people who have interacted with Trump irl - prior to his political career and some extensively. They would not describe him as charismatic. Yes, there were times he could appear “charming” or caring but mostly he gave off a very sleazy snake oil salesman vibe to them.

[Anonymous]

I think certain people just have a presence, which I think is different from charisma. Presence is a powerful force that sucks up all the oxygen in the room. It doesn’t mean the person is good or bad.

[Anonymous]

Clinton and Obama are both charismatic yet I wouldn’t lump them together with Trump.

Robin Williams was charismatic. Heck, most comedians are.

Mother Theresa had some level of charisma to amass so many followers. Ditto for Ghandi. Mandela.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think certain people just have a presence, which I think is different from charisma. Presence is a powerful force that sucks up all the oxygen in the room. It doesn’t mean the person is good or bad.

To me that presence *is* charisma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I didn't say all charismatic people are bad. I said that they can be bad, and the charisma will conceal what is negative about them, and this is dangerous.

My suggestion is simply to remember this fact and not be taken in by charisma when someone has not properly proven themselves through their deeds. Regarding Trump, something my DH often says is to not listen to what he says, just look at what he does. It's good advice. Sometimes we are all too easily swayed by the appearance of intelligence, competence, or leadership, and it results in poor choices and regret.

The problem here is that you think Trump is charismatic. He's a populist.

Trump is charismatic. He used to be more so. He uses bombast and humor to catch people off guard and sway them to his side, even when he's being transparently selfish. He absolutely used charisma to build his real estate empire, relying on an outsized confidence and conviction of his own value to get people to give him what he wants. He has used his charisma to charm women, investors, the media, and the American public into giving him things he would not otherwise deserve. Sure, he sometimes utilizes populism to accomplish this, but not always -- his tariffs, for instance, are nearly universally disliked, and yet he persists.

A lot of you are struggling with this because you think of charisma as a positive quality, because you have felt that warm glow of being near a charismatic person and feeling their light shine on you. THAT'S THE WHOLE PROBLEM. Charisma is a trick. Sure, there may be some benevolent people who use their charisma for good, to do good works. But mostly not, because most people are not benevolent. Most people are selfish, self-centered, and a little bit stupid. So most charisma gets used for advancing individual interests, most of which are not great. Trump is an extreme example but not an outlier.

Virtually everyone who knows Trump despises him. He's not charismatic.

He got 70 million people to vote for him despite having very few qualifications. It takes charisma to get that support. But that’s his public personality, not his real personality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Clinton and Obama are both charismatic yet I wouldn’t lump them together with Trump.

Robin Williams was charismatic. Heck, most comedians are.

Mother Theresa had some level of charisma to amass so many followers. Ditto for Ghandi. Mandela.

That's a strange way to make your argument. Claiming that to have followers means you are charismatic is putting the cart before the horse. There are other ways to amass followers besides charisma.

[Anonymous]

If someone bet me $1,000,000 that Trump could charm me then I would be $1,000,000 richer.

[Anonymous]

So can charisma coexist with humility? Or does one have to be extra self assured to be charismatic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So can charisma coexist with humility? Or does one have to be extra self assured to be charismatic?

Charisma is a characteristic associated with leadership. I believe there are historical examples of humble leaders. Abraham Lincoln comes to mind. There are others.

[Anonymous]

I really do wonder about people like OP who post banal realities about life that most people know by age 14/15 as if they they have uniquely uncovered something profound and insightful.

OP, do you really think that most people aren’t aware that many charming individuals are insincere and manipulative?

[Anonymous]

Genuine charisma is easier to detect these days. We are keen to bullshitters.
But there are legit people who are charismatic, altruistic, empathetic, and do no harm.

The rest are just sophists. Easy to spot.