Charisma is a damaging lie
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Anonymous
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This thought is the result of a wide variety of experiences in my life, but it has really crystallized during life under Trump because something I keep seeing people who have met or spent time with Trump say is that he is a very charismatic person and can make you like him. But I also think about many, many Hollywood actors who are so incredibly charismatic and charming but personally horrible narcissists. In fact, it seems like narcissism and charisma are linked. I wouldn't say one causes the other but more like they seem to co-occur often?
Anyway, I think we place far too much value in charisma as a personal quality in our culture and it keeps getting us into trouble. I'd like to humbly suggest that we make more of an effort to appreciate, listen to, and choose as leaders the boring, uncharismatic, even sometimes annoying people. They are more genuine and responsible and far less likely to trick us into giving them all our money or invading Venezuela for no reason at all. I'm teaching my kids to view charisma with suspicion. Some charismatic people might be okay, but make them prove it. From here on out, when I meet a charismatic person, I will assume the worst. |
Anonymous
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I see this as well and you have a point.
It all comes down to honesty. Weird people are honest. They are not busy being fake and posturing so they end up “weird” compared to others. But really that just means independent thinker. Charismatic people who really go for status are definitely playing games and being fake. That’s why they shouldn’t be leaders of anything. They are inherently followers and not leaders at all. But people are dumb and so this will never change. |
Anonymous
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You’re painting with a wide brush OP. If every charismatic person out there is as narcissistic and devoid of real depth as you say (and yes I’ve encountered many myself), then every humble and deep thinker is likely an uncommunicative and awkward wallflower who would not be able to lead a middle school game of dodgeball never mind the masses.
Although rare, i can think of a handful of charismatic folks I’ve met and worked with who were self aware, thoughtful, considered in how and what they communicated, and also incredibly funny. We do need more of them. Interestingly, now that I think about it, they all loved their moms. |
Anonymous
| Charisma is almost always nothing more than a well crafted cloak to impress people. |
Anonymous
| Some people are just naturally more interesting and magnetic. It's just a fact. |
Anonymous
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Obama is charismatic.
It would have been a shame to skip over him because of that. |
Anonymous
People with charisma don’t usually “craft” anything, they just have it. |
Anonymous
This. So many people on social media try to make themselves feel better about themselves by throwing shade on anyone who is not like them. I've seen hair color, looks in general, trying to dress nicely, look good . . . And now you can't be charismatic? Get a life, people. |
Anonymous
| I mean ... I think you are wrongly conflating "charismatic" with "good." The problem isn't charisma, it's your inability to understand the limited meaning of the word. |
Anonymous
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Wikipedia has an interesting article on this. For the Greeks it was a gift bestowed by the gods (could be beauty, could be something else), and Greek translations of the bible used the word charis before Christ. Paul used charisma to meran the gift of God's grace. The sociologist Max Weber started using it:
Charisma is a certain quality of an individual personality by virtue of which he is set apart from ordinary men and treated as endowed with supernatural, superhuman, or at least specifically exceptional powers or qualities. These as such are not accessible to the ordinary person, but are regarded as of divine origin or as exemplary, and on the basis of them the individual concerned is treated as a leader. I think with Trump we got someone who was artificially inflated by his TV career. I vaguely remember the word charisma popping up during presidential election campaigns back in the 80s--Chicago Tribune had the headline "DUKAKIS SURE ISN`T RUNNING ON CHARISMA" so maybe that's when it all started. Some essayist wrote back in 2004 (about presidential campaigns) I suspect the key to charisma is to like people. All politicians smile when they're working a crowd, but the really charismatic ones don't have to remember to smile. Their smiles are genuine, because they're enjoying themselves. If you look at photographs of Clinton in a crowd, time and again you see him stretching way out to reach people's hands--- often over his own Secret Service agents, like a basketball player stretching to block a shot. And he's not merely smiling. He's ecstatic. Working a crowd is not a duty for him; it's the part he likes. Clearly this is not true of Trump. If you don't like him, he loathes you. So maybe it's really about how pleased they are with themselves. |
Anonymous
| My husband is very charismatic. Everyone likes him. He’s also a truly lovely person. |
Anonymous
Ok? Lol. |
Anonymous
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The people I know who are charismatic are happy, outgoing, enjoy meeting people and spending time with them.
OP is describing someone who is egotistical and narcissistic. |
Anonymous
This is my husband. But I'm smart enough not to say that here because this is the kind of thing that brings out the jealous trolls. |
Anonymous
Like this. Lol. |