Dating in college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, learn to ask the nice, shy boys out in your elite college. Times have changed, and it shouldn’t just be up to them. If their lack of confidence is a turn off, that’s a you problem: they will be rich and confident in their 30s and no longer interested in women their own age.

Yup. Guy here who was the quintessential "nice guy" in college - too shy to date much, plenty of female friends but no relationships. Lots of attractive but not super attractive girls wouldn't give me the time of day in college - usually the really hot girls were actually nicer. Now I am happily married with kids, fairly successful, etc. And a lot of those who wouldn't bother with me are still single and constantly on social media either posting about nieces, nephews and/or pets and/or they had kids on their own because they were constantly too good for men and no men wanted to put up with their crap anymore. I always enjoy seeing them at reunions, alumni events, etc.

What do you mean by, “wouldn’t give you the time of day?” You say you were too shy to ask anyone out. What did you expect? Were they supposed to ask YOU out?

Men need to learn to ask women out. If you lack the confidence to do so, your dating life won’t be robust. By and large, women don’t want to be the pursuers.

I guess what we are saying is that these guys do just fine down the road. And they are usually really nice guys and excellent mates. If women are the ones complaining, they should do something about it. The power dynamic will never be better for them, and they have the opportunity to choose wisely — or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son at a top school is a moderate and dates for a long-term relationship has found it just as difficult. Isn't interested in party girls, or those obsessed with social media, and I think fears having to do the apps thing as a young adult if they don't find their person in college. You can really dwindle the pool quickly in a lot of ways for all sorts of kids looking to date.

Just tell son the world will be his oyster when he is in his 30s, and things will only get better each year until then. He will do well. Be patient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is definitely a consideration for my son. He’s at a small school now and wants to make sure there is a sizable population of heterosexual women wherever he ends up for college.

I think it’s odd that so many people think dating should be irrelevant to young people. I mean, don’t they have hormones and a sex drive? An emotional drive to connect with someone romantically? Relationships and marriage are supposed to be one of the most important things in adult life.

Doesn’t every school today (except the women’s colleges) have a sizable population of heterosexual women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is definitely a consideration for my son. He’s at a small school now and wants to make sure there is a sizable population of heterosexual women wherever he ends up for college.

I think it’s odd that so many people think dating should be irrelevant to young people. I mean, don’t they have hormones and a sex drive? An emotional drive to connect with someone romantically? Relationships and marriage are supposed to be one of the most important things in adult life.

Doesn’t every school today (except the women’s colleges) have a sizable population of heterosexual women?

Large public universities, yes. Small private LAC, no

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is definitely a consideration for my son. He’s at a small school now and wants to make sure there is a sizable population of heterosexual women wherever he ends up for college.

I think it’s odd that so many people think dating should be irrelevant to young people. I mean, don’t they have hormones and a sex drive? An emotional drive to connect with someone romantically? Relationships and marriage are supposed to be one of the most important things in adult life.

No one is saying dating is irrelevant. I'm suggesting that a skewed gender ration does not mean that your child won't find someone suitable to date if they want to date.

[Anonymous]

I’m so frustrated with how these college kids date….or don’t date! I blame it on cell phones and social media. They are just not as comfortable with conversation and “mingling” as our generation. They’re used to communicating through snap and DM’s.

[Anonymous]

They also don’t know how to date casually. Because everyone’s life and whereabouts can be looked up online, everyone is claimed and the past sticks with them. “Oh he used to date my friend’s friend at summer camp two years ago so he’s off limits”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh and I think all the boys know which schools have the “hottest women” that’s Arizona State, Alabama, U of Miami and a few others in the southern US

The most attractive women I've met all go to MIT
- current male college student

No, unless nerdy Asian girls are your thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are your students looking at the ratio of males/females and heterosexual/not heterosexual data when applying to colleges? It seems like the dating pool at different select universities varies widely (depending on what one is looking for.) I was a bit surprised by some Ivies, frankly. Or maybe today’s teens don’t really worry much about this kind of thing at all & simply don’t care?

Was not a reason to pick/not pick a college. Current junior has no significant other at the moment. She is at a school with 44% male and 56% male, which I had to just look up - she was dating someone but they broke up arpund midtermsbroke up. Current senior is dating someone, his college is 42% male and 58% female - also had to look that up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. This not something anyone considers. What a strange post.

Speak for yourself. My kids definitely wanted as evenly balanced gender ratio as possible. Both wound up at a school with slightly more men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is definitely a consideration for my son. He’s at a small school now and wants to make sure there is a sizable population of heterosexual women wherever he ends up for college.

I think it’s odd that so many people think dating should be irrelevant to young people. I mean, don’t they have hormones and a sex drive? An emotional drive to connect with someone romantically? Relationships and marriage are supposed to be one of the most important things in adult life.

+1
Yep. Completely normal.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think my kid looked it up for colleges they were considering, but a friend at a school with a pretty big gender imbalance told them about it. She said that the guys at their school are very outnumbered and can therefore act like a jerk and get away with it because there aren’t as many to choose from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They also don’t know how to date casually. Because everyone’s life and whereabouts can be looked up online, everyone is claimed and the past sticks with them. “Oh he used to date my friend’s friend at summer camp two years ago so he’s off limits”.

Yes, I have teens and hear that a lot. I didn’t get it but you have an interesting perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They also don’t know how to date casually. Because everyone’s life and whereabouts can be looked up online, everyone is claimed and the past sticks with them. “Oh he used to date my friend’s friend at summer camp two years ago so he’s off limits”.

I hear this from my daughter... now a college freshman but similar behavior in hs..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. This not something anyone considers. What a strange post.

This. What even, OP?