Dreadful Thanksgiving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. My son has always known what college is costing me as a single parent. He has summer jobs to pay for all of his own stuff. He’s always grateful and came home shocked how many rich kids go to school with him. They invited him skiing over winter break and when he asked how much it will cost for his share of the rental, they said they had no clue since their parents paid for all of it. He can’t believe these kids get monthly allowances of hu dress of dollars either. So sometimes he is moody but he never acts insufferable. He knows better.

Just stop with the crap.
You chose to have a kid you could not afford that is on you and no one else

Stop crapping all over DCUM today. I recognize your style on several different threads. Go for a walk instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am already reading books and blogs etc about how to manage adult relationships with kids. It matters so much to me and I don’t feel like DH nor I had great models in our own parents. I want them to feel fully supported and cared for but not controlled or smothered. Feels like threading a needle.

book suggestions???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS came back from Brown , had MAGA tendencies before but is now fully woke, an LGBT Q protagonist and DEI supporter.
What have I done?

Troll. My kid is still moderate and most of his friends are down the middle (moderates). Zero issues stating any opinions in class. Less MAGA types for sure, but not the stereotypical woke.

Condoleezza Rice was just there speaking. And Gen. Mark A. Milley, as well, urged future American public affairs leaders studying at Brown to “preserve and protect” the values laid out in the Declaration of Independence and in the U.S. Constitution.

The Watson Institute is non-partisan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS came back from Brown , had MAGA tendencies before but is now fully woke, an LGBT Q protagonist and DEI supporter.
What have I done?

Troll. My kid is still moderate and most of his friends are down the middle (moderates). Zero issues stating any opinions in class. Less MAGA types for sure, but not the stereotypical woke.

Condoleezza Rice was just there speaking. And Gen. Mark A. Milley, as well, urged future American public affairs leaders studying at Brown to “preserve and protect” the values laid out in the Declaration of Independence and in the U.S. Constitution.

The Watson Institute is non-partisan.

So much less woke than Yale and Columbia.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it was dreadful. Out with friends drinking, slept until 2:00 pm everyday, did nothing productive including studying for finals, and ended up with a bad cold.

[Anonymous]

DC is a senior, but in their 3rd year. They slept in late, but other than that. No big arguments. I mentioned one thing to them about what they did with some friends that I didn't like which they were not happy about. But, later, when they calmed down, we had a good talk about it.

They go to the state flagship, and many of their friends are struggling financially. DC has zero financial struggles, in part because they got merit, but also because we were fortunate enough to save more than enough for their undergrad and grad degree. They often speak of how grateful they are. I grew up lower income and struggled a lot like their friends. That made DC even appreciate me more because I came from such a modest background and was able to eek out an UMC life for them.

They have been telling their younger sibling who is about to go to college, that they are also very fortunate and should be appreciative that we can pay for their oos college costs. My HS senior has been more cooperative lately.

IMO, it's all about appreciating what you have, which is especially apt during Thanksgiving.

As the adage goes: comparison is the thief of joy.

[Anonymous]

Mine has become a MAGA, wants to move to the country, get married young, telework, home school children, avoid plastic and vaccines…all while maintaining their current UMC lifestyle and buying a Porsche - hoping graduation and working in person helps them go back towards the center.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s common F and S year.

I had very honest and hard talks about soiling the best and I could not be their target.

If you don’t want life long problems don’t threaten them with money and support. Get a therapist and work through it.

+1
My parents tried this, but I was full ride scholarship and literally just said FU and left. I never viewed them as supportive and when they did this I didn’t view them as loving either. I’m 50 and our relationship never recovered. I visit them but their strong opinions fall on deaf ears and I keep my visits short for sanity. They view me as a horrible daughter while they were perfect parents that were saddled with this horrible burden - in reality I’m the only child to leave at 18, never ask for money, and ended up truly successful. Oh well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS came back from Brown , had MAGA tendencies before but is now fully woke, an LGBT Q protagonist and DEI supporter.
What have I done?

How would we know? You didn't mention anything about yourself in your post at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s common F and S year.

I had very honest and hard talks about soiling the best and I could not be their target.

If you don’t want life long problems don’t threaten them with money and support. Get a therapist and work through it.

I hope you aren’t talking to your kids about soiling the nest. You need a therapist! Learn to edit.

Google it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, not dreadful. Mainly because I don't react.

If kid wants to wake up at 3 pm? - I am fine.
If the entire floor is littered with clothes? - I am fine.
If they eat cold TG leftovers for breakfast? - I am fine.

Which floor is littered with clothes? Their bedroom floor, or the kitchen/living/dining room? Because if it's the bedroom fine, but the latter isn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine has become a MAGA, wants to move to the country, get married young, telework, home school children, avoid plastic and vaccines…all while maintaining their current UMC lifestyle and buying a Porsche - hoping graduation and working in person helps them go back towards the center.

Maybe let your kid know that MAGA doesn’t believe in telework…they are fine with a SAH female and/or working as a farmer or in a trade out in the country…but not in working from home in a professional job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, not dreadful. Mainly because I don't react.

If kid wants to wake up at 3 pm? - I am fine.
If the entire floor is littered with clothes? - I am fine.
If they eat cold TG leftovers for breakfast? - I am fine.

Which floor is littered with clothes? Their bedroom floor, or the kitchen/living/dining room? Because if it's the bedroom fine, but the latter isn't.

+1 my HS senior's room is littered with clothes, and litter. I just made them clean it up. My college aged kid is actually pretty neat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS came back from Brown , had MAGA tendencies before but is now fully woke, an LGBT Q protagonist and DEI supporter.
What have I done?

raised a kid who was open to new ideas and saw what it is like to be exposed to other people, embracing that differences can make us stronger

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. My son has always known what college is costing me as a single parent. He has summer jobs to pay for all of his own stuff. He’s always grateful and came home shocked how many rich kids go to school with him. They invited him skiing over winter break and when he asked how much it will cost for his share of the rental, they said they had no clue since their parents paid for all of it. He can’t believe these kids get monthly allowances of hu dress of dollars either. So sometimes he is moody but he never acts insufferable. He knows better.

Just stop with the crap.
You chose to have a kid you could not afford that is on you and no one else

Wow. Just wow.