Everyone has an opinion: holiday edition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the school?

University of Hail Satan at Gay Sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did your seniors do navigating relatives asking non-stop questions about where they want to go to college, and offering unsolicited opinions?

We warned our DD this would happen and she handled it great, but there’s one school in particular that she’s seriously interested in that several family members have an issue with, and you can almost see them visibly squirm when the name is mentioned. As parents, we’re trying to remain neutral and let her guide the process, so it’s just annoying to hear grandma outright disparaging certain schools to her, and trying to push schools that she couldn’t be less interested in.

Please share the name of the school which made adults "visibly squirm". (Unless it's had a highly publicized scandal like Sarah Lawrence College or is well known druggie school, it's hard to imagine a school which would cause such a strong reaction.)

Please share the school name as we can offer suggestions specific to that school or can give an opinion as to whether or not you or your relatives are overreacting.

Thanks in advance.

NP here,

My mom visibly squirmed at any school that was Catholic, or that didn't have a great reputation when she applied to college in the 1950's. She'd then suggest my wonderful but not super high stats kid apply to some super reachy school in the same reason. "Hartford? I don't think anyone's heard of the University of Hartford? If he wants to go to school in Connecticut, what about Yale?"

Trade you. Mine loves ND due to many family members and like considered too. However, when mine announced they were attending an Ivy, first words were that isn’t Catholic, right? Then they were silent for a couple weeks upset about it.

Love it. I had family members and some faculty at my high school tell me that they just wouldn’t allow me to go to one of my top choices. Some people just can’t help themselves. I didn’t end up going to the “bad” school, but I always imagine a group of people trying to drag me off the plane to college because they wouldn’t “allow “ me to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the school?

University of Hail Satan at Gay Sex

Thanks…..just spit out my wine.

[Anonymous]

I went to Duke in the 90s. I was on the nerdy side, huge basketball fan, lifelong Democrat. I had multiple artsy super-progressive acquaintances tell me not to go there because I would become an obnoxious Republican frat boy like everyone else at Duke. I loved these self-proclaimed super progressive open minded people making these ridiculous generalizations about everyone at Duke - hypocrite much?

TL/DR: I had an incredible experience. Didn't join a frat but had many close friends who did and loved their parties. Remained a Democrat but became a much more thoughtful, open-minded one.

[Anonymous]

People that haven't paid attention to colleges since 1990 do not have any opinion that's worthwhile. So much has changed.

I wouldn't bother engaging. And I'd tell my kid, Aunt Sally and Grandpa are old and stuck in their views. Tell them you read about Bill Clinton in history class, and ask them what it was like living in that era. And have them explain what a fax is. Or a VCR. And then the conversation will drift into how everything was better before smartphones and the internet.

Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

This reminds me of how every relative chimed in when we shared the names we chose for our kids, “Oh no! You cannot name them ____. I knew a lady with that name and she was horrible!”

I think the best option is just to announce in May, after the decision is set in stone. The relatives can just accept that they will have no influence by then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did your seniors do navigating relatives asking non-stop questions about where they want to go to college, and offering unsolicited opinions?

We warned our DD this would happen and she handled it great, but there’s one school in particular that she’s seriously interested in that several family members have an issue with, and you can almost see them visibly squirm when the name is mentioned. As parents, we’re trying to remain neutral and let her guide the process, so it’s just annoying to hear grandma outright disparaging certain schools to her, and trying to push schools that she couldn’t be less interested in.

Please share the name of the school which made adults "visibly squirm". (Unless it's had a highly publicized scandal like Sarah Lawrence College or is well known druggie school, it's hard to imagine a school which would cause such a strong reaction.)

Please share the school name as we can offer suggestions specific to that school or can give an opinion as to whether or not you or your relatives are overreacting.

Thanks in advance.

NP here,

My mom visibly squirmed at any school that was Catholic, or that didn't have a great reputation when she applied to college in the 1950's. She'd then suggest my wonderful but not super high stats kid apply to some super reachy school in the same reason. "Hartford? I don't think anyone's heard of the University of Hartford? If he wants to go to school in Connecticut, what about Yale?"

OP here and this is close to the scenario. I don’t want to name the school, but it’s definitely a snob factor. It has a high acceptance rate and MIL is audibly lamenting that she won’t consider a much preppier private school in the same city.

Parents and student need to stop discussing college stuff with her. Provide a non-answer then change the subject. “Still narrowing down options, there’s a lot to consider! How is Aunt Mabel doing after her surgery?”

[Anonymous]

My DD didn't want to talk about it. If someone brought it up, I would help her shut it down by announcing that the college process is really stressful for kids and none of us wanted to chat about it until it was over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the school?

Probably the only school that would make me squirm would be Liberty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your kid intends to go to an SEC school you can bet their lib tard relatives would never shut up about it.

You sound lovely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not a mom of college kids yet, but I work at a university, so these threads fascinate me. And make me indignant on behalf of your awesome seniors!

Over the summer, my sister’s family and my family met up in Indiana, the “halfway point” between DC and South Dakota, where my parents live. We had a great time at my parents’ lake house.

While we were there (for a little over a week), I took my nephew, a rising junior at the time, to see IU Bloomington, my alma mater, because he hadn’t yet been on any campus tours outside of Augustana and the University of Sioux Falls, which are close to his home.

He loved it, and while we were driving back to the cottage, I said, “Hey we could go to Ball State tomorrow,” as that is 20 minutes from the lake place. He was like, that’s great.

I was later talking to my cousin who lives in Nashville on the phone, telling her what we were all up to. I said I took nephew to visit IU and Ball State. She said, “Ball State, WHY, oh my GOD, that place is trash and he’d better not go there.”

Her own sister graduated from Ball State, and is very successful. Nephew wasn’t serious about applying to either IU or Ball State, we were just getting a taste of universities different from the ones he has easy access to tour. That phone call made me realize how awful grown adults can be about colleges, and how hard it must be to be a parent of seniors sometimes! Good luck, everyone!

Wrong take. It is not 1985 or 1994 it is 2025 there is no way in hell it is smart to send a college kid to Indiana.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the school?

Probably the only school that would make me squirm would be Liberty.

Liberty, Hillsdale any schools with those ties hell no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to Duke in the 90s. I was on the nerdy side, huge basketball fan, lifelong Democrat. I had multiple artsy super-progressive acquaintances tell me not to go there because I would become an obnoxious Republican frat boy like everyone else at Duke. I loved these self-proclaimed super progressive open minded people making these ridiculous generalizations about everyone at Duke - hypocrite much?

TL/DR: I had an incredible experience. Didn't join a frat but had many close friends who did and loved their parties. Remained a Democrat but became a much more thoughtful, open-minded one.

Duke gave us Stephen Miller when he should not even have graduated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did your seniors do navigating relatives asking non-stop questions about where they want to go to college, and offering unsolicited opinions?

We warned our DD this would happen and she handled it great, but there’s one school in particular that she’s seriously interested in that several family members have an issue with, and you can almost see them visibly squirm when the name is mentioned. As parents, we’re trying to remain neutral and let her guide the process, so it’s just annoying to hear grandma outright disparaging certain schools to her, and trying to push schools that she couldn’t be less interested in.

Please share the name of the school which made adults "visibly squirm". (Unless it's had a highly publicized scandal like Sarah Lawrence College or is well known druggie school, it's hard to imagine a school which would cause such a strong reaction.)

Please share the school name as we can offer suggestions specific to that school or can give an opinion as to whether or not you or your relatives are overreacting.

Thanks in advance.

Old Miss
And school in a red state
Libery
Hillsdale
Any Assemblies of God Universities
Small Catholic Colleges
Any small religious based colleges

If you send your kid to any of the above at this point in time you suck as a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not a mom of college kids yet, but I work at a university, so these threads fascinate me. And make me indignant on behalf of your awesome seniors!

Over the summer, my sister’s family and my family met up in Indiana, the “halfway point” between DC and South Dakota, where my parents live. We had a great time at my parents’ lake house.

While we were there (for a little over a week), I took my nephew, a rising junior at the time, to see IU Bloomington, my alma mater, because he hadn’t yet been on any campus tours outside of Augustana and the University of Sioux Falls, which are close to his home.

He loved it, and while we were driving back to the cottage, I said, “Hey we could go to Ball State tomorrow,” as that is 20 minutes from the lake place. He was like, that’s great.

I was later talking to my cousin who lives in Nashville on the phone, telling her what we were all up to. I said I took nephew to visit IU and Ball State. She said, “Ball State, WHY, oh my GOD, that place is trash and he’d better not go there.”

Her own sister graduated from Ball State, and is very successful. Nephew wasn’t serious about applying to either IU or Ball State, we were just getting a taste of universities different from the ones he has easy access to tour. That phone call made me realize how awful grown adults can be about colleges, and how hard it must be to be a parent of seniors sometimes! Good luck, everyone!

Wrong take. It is not 1985 or 1994 it is 2025 there is no way in hell it is smart to send a college kid to Indiana.

You may not be able to see it, but you are the exhausting, unbearable, judgmental relative we are all commiserating about.