Everyone has an opinion: holiday edition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I could also see people “visibly squirm” related to big sports rivalries. For example if you are a big Michigan family and kid is interested in Ohio State - relatives might squirm

I hope it’s a sports rivalry!

[Anonymous]

Even if I personally don't like a school or think it is an awful fit for a kid I almost always keep my mouth shut. And when asking about colleges, I just ask generally how the process is going. Never, ever, ever ask a kid where they are applying.

[Anonymous]

Better to keep one’s mouth shut unless it’s something positive. And not ask in the first place. Let the kid bring it up. It’s no one’s business, even if it’s family.

[Anonymous]

Even sports rivalries are stupid and inexcusable. I went to Indiana and I know full well that Purdue is an excellent institution. I would never “squirm,” only celebrate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did your seniors do navigating relatives asking non-stop questions about where they want to go to college, and offering unsolicited opinions?

We warned our DD this would happen and she handled it great, but there’s one school in particular that she’s seriously interested in that several family members have an issue with, and you can almost see them visibly squirm when the name is mentioned. As parents, we’re trying to remain neutral and let her guide the process, so it’s just annoying to hear grandma outright disparaging certain schools to her, and trying to push schools that she couldn’t be less interested in.

Please share the name of the school which made adults "visibly squirm". (Unless it's had a highly publicized scandal like Sarah Lawrence College or is well known druggie school, it's hard to imagine a school which would cause such a strong reaction.)

Please share the school name as we can offer suggestions specific to that school or can give an opinion as to whether or not you or your relatives are overreacting.

Thanks in advance.

NP here,

My mom visibly squirmed at any school that was Catholic, or that didn't have a great reputation when she applied to college in the 1950's. She'd then suggest my wonderful but not super high stats kid apply to some super reachy school in the same reason. "Hartford? I don't think anyone's heard of the University of Hartford? If he wants to go to school in Connecticut, what about Yale?"

OP here and this is close to the scenario. I don’t want to name the school, but it’s definitely a snob factor. It has a high acceptance rate and MIL is audibly lamenting that she won’t consider a much preppier private school in the same city.

[Anonymous]

We all talk about it in my family. I have 14 first cousins (we are all 40-50) and we all have 2-4 kids and so nearly every year there are one or two seniors in the mix. Kids have attended regional, state and private schools all across the ratings board. We talk about it to acknowledge interest, but to offer advice or opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just said “he doesn’t know, depends on where he gets in” and that usually ended the discussion.

Same. I guess our family isn’t that shallow. They don’t really care that much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did your seniors do navigating relatives asking non-stop questions about where they want to go to college, and offering unsolicited opinions?

We warned our DD this would happen and she handled it great, but there’s one school in particular that she’s seriously interested in that several family members have an issue with, and you can almost see them visibly squirm when the name is mentioned. As parents, we’re trying to remain neutral and let her guide the process, so it’s just annoying to hear grandma outright disparaging certain schools to her, and trying to push schools that she couldn’t be less interested in.

Please share the name of the school which made adults "visibly squirm". (Unless it's had a highly publicized scandal like Sarah Lawrence College or is well known druggie school, it's hard to imagine a school which would cause such a strong reaction.)

Please share the school name as we can offer suggestions specific to that school or can give an opinion as to whether or not you or your relatives are overreacting.

Thanks in advance.

NP here,

My mom visibly squirmed at any school that was Catholic, or that didn't have a great reputation when she applied to college in the 1950's. She'd then suggest my wonderful but not super high stats kid apply to some super reachy school in the same reason. "Hartford? I don't think anyone's heard of the University of Hartford? If he wants to go to school in Connecticut, what about Yale?"

OP here and this is close to the scenario. I don’t want to name the school, but it’s definitely a snob factor. It has a high acceptance rate and MIL is audibly lamenting that she won’t consider a much preppier private school in the same city.

That's rude. Personally I tell my parents to curb the college talk because it stresses DS out. He can content with it from a few less-close relatives but I don't want all college talk all the time when the visit. He's a Junior. In your situation I'd ask them to be more positive or at least neutral about University of Average because it's upsetting to your kid. Ask them to be encouraging or neutral or just ask them to not talk about it.

[Anonymous]

My grandkids are way too young to think about it, but my nephew and niece’s kids aren’t. No one even mentioned it over the holiday. We were too busy catching up, eating, and playing games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the school?

Miss the point much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Visibly squirm = Liberty? Patrick Henry?

Oberlin? Wesleyan?

[Anonymous]

My kid did fine. Talked like an adult with other adults. Aunts and uncles are just curious and trying to make conversation with young adults they see once every other year.”. No one really cares whether you’re going to Williams or umass. They’re just happy and excited for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did your seniors do navigating relatives asking non-stop questions about where they want to go to college, and offering unsolicited opinions?

We warned our DD this would happen and she handled it great, but there’s one school in particular that she’s seriously interested in that several family members have an issue with, and you can almost see them visibly squirm when the name is mentioned. As parents, we’re trying to remain neutral and let her guide the process, so it’s just annoying to hear grandma outright disparaging certain schools to her, and trying to push schools that she couldn’t be less interested in.

Please share the name of the school which made adults "visibly squirm". (Unless it's had a highly publicized scandal like Sarah Lawrence College or is well known druggie school, it's hard to imagine a school which would cause such a strong reaction.)

Please share the school name as we can offer suggestions specific to that school or can give an opinion as to whether or not you or your relatives are overreacting.

Thanks in advance.

NP here,

My mom visibly squirmed at any school that was Catholic, or that didn't have a great reputation when she applied to college in the 1950's. She'd then suggest my wonderful but not super high stats kid apply to some super reachy school in the same reason. "Hartford? I don't think anyone's heard of the University of Hartford? If he wants to go to school in Connecticut, what about Yale?"

Trade you. Mine loves ND due to many family members and like considered too. However, when mine announced they were attending an Ivy, first words were that isn’t Catholic, right? Then they were silent for a couple weeks upset about it.

[Anonymous]

DD will know about her first choice by 12/20, so Christmas will either be very happy or very sad. Hopefully, it will be the former, but if it's the latter, surely my family can keep it together...

[Anonymous]

Your families sound awful. Who criticizes a 17 year old for which college they want to go to? Aren’t there any drug addicts or felons to put things in perspective?