Everyone has an opinion: holiday edition

[Anonymous]

How did your seniors do navigating relatives asking non-stop questions about where they want to go to college, and offering unsolicited opinions?

We warned our DD this would happen and she handled it great, but there’s one school in particular that she’s seriously interested in that several family members have an issue with, and you can almost see them visibly squirm when the name is mentioned. As parents, we’re trying to remain neutral and let her guide the process, so it’s just annoying to hear grandma outright disparaging certain schools to her, and trying to push schools that she couldn’t be less interested in.

[Anonymous]

What is the school?

[Anonymous]

We stuck to the script that DC was almost certainly going to attend a public he'd already been admitted to.

[Anonymous]

We just said “he doesn’t know, depends on where he gets in” and that usually ended the discussion.

[Anonymous]

I’m not a mom of college kids yet, but I work at a university, so these threads fascinate me. And make me indignant on behalf of your awesome seniors!

Over the summer, my sister’s family and my family met up in Indiana, the “halfway point” between DC and South Dakota, where my parents live. We had a great time at my parents’ lake house.

While we were there (for a little over a week), I took my nephew, a rising junior at the time, to see IU Bloomington, my alma mater, because he hadn’t yet been on any campus tours outside of Augustana and the University of Sioux Falls, which are close to his home.

He loved it, and while we were driving back to the cottage, I said, “Hey we could go to Ball State tomorrow,” as that is 20 minutes from the lake place. He was like, that’s great.

I was later talking to my cousin who lives in Nashville on the phone, telling her what we were all up to. I said I took nephew to visit IU and Ball State. She said, “Ball State, WHY, oh my GOD, that place is trash and he’d better not go there.”

Her own sister graduated from Ball State, and is very successful. Nephew wasn’t serious about applying to either IU or Ball State, we were just getting a taste of universities different from the ones he has easy access to tour. That phone call made me realize how awful grown adults can be about colleges, and how hard it must be to be a parent of seniors sometimes! Good luck, everyone!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did your seniors do navigating relatives asking non-stop questions about where they want to go to college, and offering unsolicited opinions?

We warned our DD this would happen and she handled it great, but there’s one school in particular that she’s seriously interested in that several family members have an issue with, and you can almost see them visibly squirm when the name is mentioned. As parents, we’re trying to remain neutral and let her guide the process, so it’s just annoying to hear grandma outright disparaging certain schools to her, and trying to push schools that she couldn’t be less interested in.

Please share the name of the school which made adults "visibly squirm". (Unless it's had a highly publicized scandal like Sarah Lawrence College or is well known druggie school, it's hard to imagine a school which would cause such a strong reaction.)

Please share the school name as we can offer suggestions specific to that school or can give an opinion as to whether or not you or your relatives are overreacting.

Thanks in advance.

[Anonymous]

It can be really tough-even with family members who don't have their expectations skewed by what admit rates were 40 years ago. Just constantly asking only about college- very one dimensional.

[Anonymous]

Everyone has knee jerk reactions to certain schools.

For some, it’s Elon. For others it’s UVA. For others it’s USC. For still more, it’s Oberlin.

It’s a good lesson in life to 1) shut your mouth and not blindly offer your opinion of something and 2j there is no pleasing everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did your seniors do navigating relatives asking non-stop questions about where they want to go to college, and offering unsolicited opinions?

We warned our DD this would happen and she handled it great, but there’s one school in particular that she’s seriously interested in that several family members have an issue with, and you can almost see them visibly squirm when the name is mentioned. As parents, we’re trying to remain neutral and let her guide the process, so it’s just annoying to hear grandma outright disparaging certain schools to her, and trying to push schools that she couldn’t be less interested in.

Please share the name of the school which made adults "visibly squirm". (Unless it's had a highly publicized scandal like Sarah Lawrence College or is well known druggie school, it's hard to imagine a school which would cause such a strong reaction.)

Please share the school name as we can offer suggestions specific to that school or can give an opinion as to whether or not you or your relatives are overreacting.

Thanks in advance.

NP here,

My mom visibly squirmed at any school that was Catholic, or that didn't have a great reputation when she applied to college in the 1950's. She'd then suggest my wonderful but not super high stats kid apply to some super reachy school in the same reason. "Hartford? I don't think anyone's heard of the University of Hartford? If he wants to go to school in Connecticut, what about Yale?"

[Anonymous]

I could also see people “visibly squirm” related to big sports rivalries. For example if you are a big Michigan family and kid is interested in Ohio State - relatives might squirm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just said “he doesn’t know, depends on where he gets in” and that usually ended the discussion.

+1

[Anonymous]

“Wow. Sounds like everyone has an opinion about this.” Delivered evenly, with a smile, followed by a question about their life. For example, “I keep forgetting to ask - what are you reading for Book Club this month?”

[Anonymous]

Visibly squirm = Liberty? Patrick Henry?

[Anonymous]

I can think of several schools that people might have negative associations with (generally seen as too liberal or too conservative or too religious)

Liberty University, military academies, UC Berkeley, Sarah Lawrence, Brigham Young, etc. With recent news stories, add Columbia, Georgetown, Penn.

[Anonymous]

People in my family aren’t rude and don’t say things like that.