You're an actor and have to film a sex scene - do you want an intimacy coordinator?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yuck. No. The only person I am comfortable with is my DH and the only person who makes it enjoyable for me. In truth, we have been each other's one and only.

Otherwise, other even the thought of intimacy with other humans frankly gross me out. I don't want to kiss someone, smell them, see them naked and definitely not touch them. I cannot imagine bumping uglies with anyone else. I am a germaphobe. All that potty, pee-pee and vomit organs or other people. Yuck, yuck, yuck.

You sound like a toddler.

I agree. These people are *actors* - professionals. They're not actually having sex and their private areas are discreetly covered. I can't roll my eyes enough at the PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if I were in a scene with certain actors no, and anyone other than them, yes.

No need:
Keanu (obviously)
Harry Styles
Jamie Dornan (bc he has so much experience filming them that I have faith in him)
Ryan Gosling
Cillian Murphy
Not an actor but Trevor Noah

I know everyone claims Pedro Pascal but I'm not sold on him. I am leaving out people over the age of 65, otherwise Denzel Washington would be on the list. Who would you be comfortable filming an intimate scene with, withOUT the use of an intimacy coordinator who is not on my list?

They will want an IC to protect themselves from you.

+1
The men need to be protected just as much as the women from any false accusations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why WOULDNT you want one? Unless you’re like OP and you’re trying to be the creepy one who is turned on by being in the scene and you don’t want an IC there to ruin the vibe or something. Don’t you realize how creepy you sound OP

I'm OP and not at all trying to be creepy. I listed the men I would trust to be respectful and appropriate. When Harry Styles did one of his music videos the models said afterwards they were calling him "the Consent King" because each time the director told him to touch them a certain way he'd always make sure they were okay with it first. Keanu Reeves' reputation of him being super respectful is well known. Etc.

[Anonymous]

When I was an actor I flat refused to do any kind of nudity or intimate scenes. It meant I missed out on a couple of major roles. But that's what it is.

[Anonymous]

Outlander reportedly had one, and that show does a great job of making you believe the illusion.

You can hear about it in cast interviews and I think a bonus clip

[Anonymous]

Im not an actor but ICs are way overdo. It shouldn’t be optional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why WOULDNT you want one? Unless you’re like OP and you’re trying to be the creepy one who is turned on by being in the scene and you don’t want an IC there to ruin the vibe or something. Don’t you realize how creepy you sound OP

I'm OP and not at all trying to be creepy. I listed the men I would trust to be respectful and appropriate. When Harry Styles did one of his music videos the models said afterwards they were calling him "the Consent King" because each time the director told him to touch them a certain way he'd always make sure they were okay with it first. Keanu Reeves' reputation of him being super respectful is well known. Etc.

Yeah but you're not getting it. It's not about you personally, it's about the whole environment. Like in the Harry Styles example, it probably would have been better (plus more efficient) if instead of him checking with each model for each individual director's instruction, the director just worked with an IC who would speak to the models and Styles ahead of time and make sure everyone was okay with what the director had in mind.

Also, a very powerful actor/musicion asking someone who is very replaceable on a set (like a model in a music video) if they consent to a direction that has just been issued by the director is not really ideal consent practices. Because there's a lot of implied pressure there to just say "yes, of course, that's fine." A major reason ICs became a thing is because there are actually not many good ways for young, less experiences, less famous, and lower paid performers to say "actually this makes me uncomfortable" on a set without being labeled as difficult. Many actors (both men and women) have stories from early in their career where they were asked to do something they really didn't want to do, but did it because they didn't want to get a reputation for being hard to work with. Might be something in a sex scene, doing a stunt or scene that caused injury or other physical harm, wearing a costume or doing some level of nudity that they hadn't agreed to beforehand and that they didn't want to do.

This is why once people are famous, they have all kinds of riders in their contracts including stuff like wardrobe approval, what body parts can be shown on screen, approval of body doubles, what stunts they will and won't do, etc. Because before they had any leverage, they often had little to no power over it. The point of an IC, just like with a stunt coordinator, is to address some of that power imbalance to protect people on set who don't have the industry leverage to say "this doesn't feel right to me."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How does one become an IC?

Start as an Assistant Fluffer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think they’re required now?

Nope. Optional.

But if I were a women I would want the “pillow”. Forgot what they call it but it’s available.

What is this for…separation? 😬

[Anonymous]

I used to be extremely pro-intimacy coordinator and didn't like when Toni Collette first spoke out against them because I felt like it would make younger actresses afraid of asking them.

But as more actresses have come out and said they don't use them, or they use them on certain occasions, I've changed my mind. I find it super weird that people attack any actress who's criticized their use when they don't even work in the industry and don't know the mechanics of what it's like to film a sex scene.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to be extremely pro-intimacy coordinator and didn't like when Toni Collette first spoke out against them because I felt like it would make younger actresses afraid of asking them.

But as more actresses have come out and said they don't use them, or they use them on certain occasions, I've changed my mind. I find it super weird that people attack any actress who's criticized their use when they don't even work in the industry and don't know the mechanics of what it's like to film a sex scene.

To clarify, I've changed my mind about being so stubborn about their use and think an actress' choice should be respected, whether that's having one on set or not having one. I'm not saying my new stance is that I'm anti-intimacy coordinator. It sounds like they can be a great addition, especially for new actors in the industry.

[Anonymous]

There really are not as many sex scenes in film and tv as there used to be.

[Anonymous]

It doesn’t matter if you “want” one or not, any professional production will just have one, end of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t matter if you “want” one or not, any professional production will just have one, end of.

Spoken with the self-righteousness of someone who posts on snark subs like fauxmoi and has never actually worked on a film set.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t matter if you “want” one or not, any professional production will just have one, end of.

Spoken with the self-righteousness of someone who posts on snark subs like fauxmoi and has never actually worked on a film set.

Spoken with the creepiness of 1940’s Hollywood…

Actors on set where intimate/sex scenes are in script shouldn’t even have to ask for one, one should be provided. How that persons services are executed will look different production to production but that person should be there.

It’s weird to me that you are *so* defensive about it that you’re calling someone self-righteous for suggesting an intimacy coordinator should be part of the crew. Ick.

Also: I hope you aren’t a film producer.