Teacher feedback that my child is very chatty

[Anonymous]

Op, you'll have to do what you think is best. but if it were me, I wouldn't triangulate this. This is classroom management. It's a classroom management issue, that the teacher ought to be competent to handle.

Since the teacher had a comment, I would have listened, but not done a thing. I probably wouldn't have even mentioned it to my DC. The teacher would have to reach out, personally, more than once. Again, this is classroom management.

If you take on this correction, it keeps the subject alive, front and center for everyone, when maybe it wouldn't have stayed a concern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, you'll have to do what you think is best. but if it were me, I wouldn't triangulate this. This is classroom management. It's a classroom management issue, that the teacher ought to be competent to handle.

Since the teacher had a comment, I would have listened, but not done a thing. I probably wouldn't have even mentioned it to my DC. The teacher would have to reach out, personally, more than once. Again, this is classroom management.

If you take on this correction, it keeps the subject alive, front and center for everyone, when maybe it wouldn't have stayed a concern.

Why not? I had a similar comment from a teacher and spoke to DS about it. He’s doing fine now, just from that honest conversation/ correction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since kindergarten, we have gotten feedback that my DD (3rd grade) is chatty in school. I hadn't heard anything from teachers this year about it but have checked in with my DD and she mentioned having some trouble talking to a friend so I suggested she request a seat move, which happened. We had conferences today and everything was pretty positive but again the same issue. The teacher reports that she picks up material and very quickly and seems to be a visual learner, so she will see something and figure it out fast and thus finishes quickly. I get the sense that she then will sometimes choose to use the time non-productively and talk to friends, which is a distraction. The teacher basically said, she is friends with everyone and a leader in the classroom so if she stops doing this, other kids will focus too.

She is a very honest kid and will come home and tell me if she gets talked to about this. We have tried a lot of different things: talking to her about the behavior and using time more productively, taking away privileges at home, policing similar behavior when I personally observe it in other settings (an activity that I lead, sports). I know this is something she is aware of and I do think she tries, but she is extremely social and forgets in the moment. Anyone dealt with this and have ideas about how to deal with this issue? I am going to follow up with the teacher and suggest that we have a list of productive things she can do if she is done with her work (besides talking!). For what it is worth, she is in FCPS full-time AAP in a cluster model in the classroom.

What’s the problem? You want to change your daughter? I’d just let the teacher handle her classroom. If she needs to change her seat, trust the teacher to do it. If she needs to discipline her, trust the teacher to do it?

Are you such a helicopter that you are trying to control your daughter while she is literally in the classroom? Your crazy!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, you'll have to do what you think is best. but if it were me, I wouldn't triangulate this. This is classroom management. It's a classroom management issue, that the teacher ought to be competent to handle.

Since the teacher had a comment, I would have listened, but not done a thing. I probably wouldn't have even mentioned it to my DC. The teacher would have to reach out, personally, more than once. Again, this is classroom management.

If you take on this correction, it keeps the subject alive, front and center for everyone, when maybe it wouldn't have stayed a concern.

If the teacher is reaching out then you take actions at home to support the teacher. You let your child know that they need to work on their classroom behavior so that they are not distracting other kids. You can ask your child what is happening and work with them on how they can adjust their behavior. OP said that her DD said that other kids are engaging her, she can role play with her DD how to handle that. Give her some help saying that it isn't time to talk or that she needs to focus on her work. Help her brainstorm what else she can do after she has finished her work so she is less likely to chat.

It helps the teacher for the child to know that the parent supports the teacher. You can discuss it with your child and not make them feel guilty or bad. You say that this is a hard skill to learn and some adults struggle. What seems like innocent chatting can be distracting to other students trying to complete their work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the teacher is trying to make the teacher's lives easier while also helping the other students to learn. Does the teacher allow kids who finish early to help those who don't? That could be a good solution.

Why would you think other kids needed help or that the another student would be qualified to help? The student who’s last to finish might be the top student who is meticulous about her work and triple checks it. The first one finished might work through it quickly because they want to just get it over with.

We can only guess why kids talk a lot in class or won’t talk in class. Five years from now her being too chatty will probably be a distant memory.

[Anonymous]

my 4th grader also talks all the time. I try to explain how he is distracting others and this is the only thing that moves him a little bit. Its gotten better since K, but I still routinely receive calls. his desk is literally next to the teacher away from all the other kids in his homeroom and he says he doesn't mind because he can ask the teacher questions easier. so I'm just trying where I can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since kindergarten, we have gotten feedback that my DD (3rd grade) is chatty in school. I hadn't heard anything from teachers this year about it but have checked in with my DD and she mentioned having some trouble talking to a friend so I suggested she request a seat move, which happened. We had conferences today and everything was pretty positive but again the same issue. The teacher reports that she picks up material and very quickly and seems to be a visual learner, so she will see something and figure it out fast and thus finishes quickly. I get the sense that she then will sometimes choose to use the time non-productively and talk to friends, which is a distraction. The teacher basically said, she is friends with everyone and a leader in the classroom so if she stops doing this, other kids will focus too.

She is a very honest kid and will come home and tell me if she gets talked to about this. We have tried a lot of different things: talking to her about the behavior and using time more productively, taking away privileges at home, policing similar behavior when I personally observe it in other settings (an activity that I lead, sports). I know this is something she is aware of and I do think she tries, but she is extremely social and forgets in the moment. Anyone dealt with this and have ideas about how to deal with this issue? I am going to follow up with the teacher and suggest that we have a list of productive things she can do if she is done with her work (besides talking!). For what it is worth, she is in FCPS full-time AAP in a cluster model in the classroom.

What’s the problem? You want to change your daughter? I’d just let the teacher handle her classroom. If she needs to change her seat, trust the teacher to do it. If she needs to discipline her, trust the teacher to do it?

Are you such a helicopter that you are trying to control your daughter while she is literally in the classroom? Your crazy!!

This is such a strange comment to me. If your kid punched a kid at school wouldn’t you “try to control their behavior in thr classroom” when they got home? You can support what goes on in the classroom as a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since kindergarten, we have gotten feedback that my DD (3rd grade) is chatty in school. I hadn't heard anything from teachers this year about it but have checked in with my DD and she mentioned having some trouble talking to a friend so I suggested she request a seat move, which happened. We had conferences today and everything was pretty positive but again the same issue. The teacher reports that she picks up material and very quickly and seems to be a visual learner, so she will see something and figure it out fast and thus finishes quickly. I get the sense that she then will sometimes choose to use the time non-productively and talk to friends, which is a distraction. The teacher basically said, she is friends with everyone and a leader in the classroom so if she stops doing this, other kids will focus too.

She is a very honest kid and will come home and tell me if she gets talked to about this. We have tried a lot of different things: talking to her about the behavior and using time more productively, taking away privileges at home, policing similar behavior when I personally observe it in other settings (an activity that I lead, sports). I know this is something she is aware of and I do think she tries, but she is extremely social and forgets in the moment. Anyone dealt with this and have ideas about how to deal with this issue? I am going to follow up with the teacher and suggest that we have a list of productive things she can do if she is done with her work (besides talking!). For what it is worth, she is in FCPS full-time AAP in a cluster model in the classroom.

Oh God please don’t do this. I’m sure the teacher has stuff already. The teacher is just telling you this so you won’t be surprised when she doesn’t have all 4s in citizenship bc on her report card. It’s not that deep. Relax!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since kindergarten, we have gotten feedback that my DD (3rd grade) is chatty in school. I hadn't heard anything from teachers this year about it but have checked in with my DD and she mentioned having some trouble talking to a friend so I suggested she request a seat move, which happened. We had conferences today and everything was pretty positive but again the same issue. The teacher reports that she picks up material and very quickly and seems to be a visual learner, so she will see something and figure it out fast and thus finishes quickly. I get the sense that she then will sometimes choose to use the time non-productively and talk to friends, which is a distraction. The teacher basically said, she is friends with everyone and a leader in the classroom so if she stops doing this, other kids will focus too.

She is a very honest kid and will come home and tell me if she gets talked to about this. We have tried a lot of different things: talking to her about the behavior and using time more productively, taking away privileges at home, policing similar behavior when I personally observe it in other settings (an activity that I lead, sports). I know this is something she is aware of and I do think she tries, but she is extremely social and forgets in the moment. Anyone dealt with this and have ideas about how to deal with this issue? I am going to follow up with the teacher and suggest that we have a list of productive things she can do if she is done with her work (besides talking!). For what it is worth, she is in FCPS full-time AAP in a cluster model in the classroom.

Could it be ADHD? My daughter is the same way, the teacher even move her next to her one year, she started talking to the teacher and at the end she just gave up and end up talking to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since kindergarten, we have gotten feedback that my DD (3rd grade) is chatty in school. I hadn't heard anything from teachers this year about it but have checked in with my DD and she mentioned having some trouble talking to a friend so I suggested she request a seat move, which happened. We had conferences today and everything was pretty positive but again the same issue. The teacher reports that she picks up material and very quickly and seems to be a visual learner, so she will see something and figure it out fast and thus finishes quickly. I get the sense that she then will sometimes choose to use the time non-productively and talk to friends, which is a distraction. The teacher basically said, she is friends with everyone and a leader in the classroom so if she stops doing this, other kids will focus too.

She is a very honest kid and will come home and tell me if she gets talked to about this. We have tried a lot of different things: talking to her about the behavior and using time more productively, taking away privileges at home, policing similar behavior when I personally observe it in other settings (an activity that I lead, sports). I know this is something she is aware of and I do think she tries, but she is extremely social and forgets in the moment. Anyone dealt with this and have ideas about how to deal with this issue? I am going to follow up with the teacher and suggest that we have a list of productive things she can do if she is done with her work (besides talking!). For what it is worth, she is in FCPS full-time AAP in a cluster model in the classroom.

Could it be ADHD? My daughter is the same way, the teacher even move her next to her one year, she started talking to the teacher and at the end she just gave up and end up talking to her.

I was going to say the same thing. Chattiness at inappropriate times is often how ADHD manifests in girls. It is often how the hyperactivity and impulsiveness show up. If you see any other possible signs, I'd look into it. https://psychiatry.duke.edu/duke-center-girls-women-adhd/about-us/faqs-about-adhd-girls-and-women

[Anonymous]

Sometimes teachers just inform parents about their child’s behavior. It’s a head’s up kind of thing to prepare you for possible future consequences. As assignments get longer and more independence is expected, sometimes chatty kids don’t get their work done. It doesn’t mean the teacher expects you to wfix the problem. It’s do you won’t complain when she gets the bad grades because she didn’t finish her work.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I can see why my post would make you think I am helicoptering but I would actually love to helicopter on out of the classroom.

The teacher was definitely looking to me to do something about it with her at home and said that they have things they can do when they are finished, seemingly implying that she is not going them. That is where I landed on the list idea.

I have talked to my DD about it and I think this week has gone better. She has been bringing a book and reports reading it during downtime.

I definitely do not want to change her or crush her spirit! I do wonder sometimes if she has ADHD. It runs in our family.