Sad that I can’t afford a top school for DD.

[Anonymous]

OP, I thought this too. I felt sad that DC had worked so hard, and that even if he got into a great school, that we wouldn’t be able to afford it.
Well guess what, he got into a T20 SLAC and got significant institutional financial aid, enough so it actually costs less than what we would have paid for in-state public.
It’s still a significant cost, but worth the sacrifices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t afford a top school for DD unless I spend my life savings, which I’m not willing to do.
But I’m sad that she worked hard in high school and can’t apply to anything that will cost more than in state.
Her friends are applying to ivy schools because they qualify for financial aid and they can afford to go there if they get in.
DD could likely get into a top 20 school but wouldn’t get merit aid there.
Just a vent.

I don’t understand this. You are jealous of families who make low enough income that they qualify for financial aid, and you are sure you won’t qualify yourself?
If you have so much money that you don’t qualify for aid anywhere, you must have quite a lot of money. In that case, this isn’t about affordability, it’s about your choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD could likely get into a top 20 school.

A top-20 "likely" can probably get merit just a little downstream. Also - very, very few top students can call a top 20 a likely.

If your state school is UVa or W&M or UMD you're doing ok.

[Anonymous]

This is the excuse people use so they don't apply and dot find out they won't be admitted.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand the problem here

[Anonymous]

And those people on SNAP thought THEY had a problem…

[Anonymous]

I had a different experience than OP. We are a state school budget family and I saw it as a blessing. With a highly academic student, removing T20 from your lives and finding all the wonderful opportunities around you without the awful pressure and stress from Ivy discussions turned out to be a blessing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t afford a top school for DD unless I spend my life savings, which I’m not willing to do.
But I’m sad that she worked hard in high school and can’t apply to anything that will cost more than in state.
Her friends are applying to ivy schools because they qualify for financial aid and they can afford to go there if they get in.
DD could likely get into a top 20 school but wouldn’t get merit aid there.
Just a vent.

This was me in the late 80s. I only could apply in-state. I was the youngest of 3 in a donut hole family. I was rank 5 out of 450 in a ffx co hs. Straight As. Athlete, all the ECs.

I turned out fine, good career in my field. I had grad school paid for as a STEM TA.

You did your best and you are still giving her a great education. I am thankful my parents did that for me.

I’m married to someone who went to a T10 on Pell grants and really didn’t see the “donut hole” issue prior until he met me. And then when our kids got close to college age he saw we would get zero needs based aid. We are able to afford the dream school for our kids and I’m most on board because I want to give my kids the options I did not have. I was always a bit secretly disappointed after working my butt off I had limits to where I could apply that friends of similar neighborhood/school did not because they got aid. But- that’s life.

Your daughter is like millions of other kids and she will succeed, person’s even more because of it.

[Anonymous]

*perhaps

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t afford a top school for DD unless I spend my life savings, which I’m not willing to do.
But I’m sad that she worked hard in high school and can’t apply to anything that will cost more than in state.
Her friends are applying to ivy schools because they qualify for financial aid and they can afford to go there if they get in.
DD could likely get into a top 20 school but wouldn’t get merit aid there.
Just a vent.

Have your kid apply and get in and then see. Top 20 schools have so much money to give out. My kids went to top 20 schools, and they were much cheaper than our in-state option with all the money they received.

[Anonymous]

I went tuition-free to an Ivy 30 years ago, and the aid packages are even better now than they were then. Have your kid try first, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a different experience than OP. We are a state school budget family and I saw it as a blessing. With a highly academic student, removing T20 from your lives and finding all the wonderful opportunities around you without the awful pressure and stress from Ivy discussions turned out to be a blessing.

THIS!!! The Ivy+ process is a meat grinder. It’s actually such a boon for your child that she has a convenient excuse not to subject herself to this nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I loved my flagship college, was at the top of the class, felt that my professors respected me, and I'm glad I did it.

Things will be okay. There are way more top students now than when we were in college. They can't all fit in the Top 20 and many have good reasons to go other places.

Same.

I was a national merit finalist, recruited athlete and straight A student. My parents actively discouraged me from applying to top tier. I got partial funding at those and a full ride at my state flagship. I graduated summa cum laude

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t afford a top school for DD unless I spend my life savings, which I’m not willing to do.
But I’m sad that she worked hard in high school and can’t apply to anything that will cost more than in state.
Her friends are applying to ivy schools because they qualify for financial aid and they can afford to go there if they get in.
DD could likely get into a top 20 school but wouldn’t get merit aid there.
Just a vent.

Yep. It happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ROTC

Ok ROTC does not work that way (speaking as someone with a kid in ROTC and no money at the moment). Getting a scholarship is incredibly competitive - somewhat easier once you hit your junior year and potentially commission, but still far from a sure thing.

I just hear this casually mentioned here all the time and I wanted to correct the record.

Rotc/nrotc at an ivy = tuition free + housing of $20k owed by the kid/family