Sad that I can’t afford a top school for DD.

[Anonymous]

ROTC

[Anonymous]

My DS is at a state school most here wouldn't give a second thought. He has an internship for next summer that takes 1% of applicants and will likely lead to a job that will pay for his MBA at a top program. College is what you make of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would do the NPC for all schools your kid might be interested in. You might be surprised. Plus there's heaps of aid and merit at tons of schools for bright students with the stats.

We are very middle class by DC standards. Both our kids go to top 20 universities. And its cheaper than State U. Like, a lot. You just need to get in.

Seems silly not to at least run the NPC for schools that DC is interested in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t afford a top school for DD unless I spend my life savings, which I’m not willing to do.
But I’m sad that she worked hard in high school and can’t apply to anything that will cost more than in state.
Her friends are applying to ivy schools because they qualify for financial aid and they can afford to go there if they get in.
DD could likely get into a top 20 school but wouldn’t get merit aid there.
Just a vent.

“I can’t afford it unless I spend the money I have.” is not a sob story.

Top schools aren’t actually more affordable for people on aid than they are for you. It’s just that instate options are similarly unaffordable, so people go ahead and sacrifice. They just don’t whine about it because they are used to making sacrifices.

[Anonymous]

I'm in the same boat, and I feel sad, too. I'm still going to encourage my son to apply to his top choice schools, because you never know. But most of his list is comprised of state schools or lower-ranked schools that offer merit. I'm starting to make peace with it. He'll be fine. He'll get a good education, and he won't be in debt (and I'll still be able to retire). I'm pretty sure I'll look back in a few years and wonder why I ever worried about it. In the meantime, I understand and share your feelings. Hang in there. (And ignore unkind responses.)

[Anonymous]

You are assuming they will get in. You don't have that problem yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are assuming they will get in. You don't have that problem yet.

This. Your kid- any kid - working hard in HS doesn’t equal a spot at an ivy.

[Anonymous]

Your kid will be great. Going T-20 doesn’t guarantee success in anything. What matters is that your kid doesn’t take any opportunity for granted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:get a admit first

yes, apply first then see result

[Anonymous]

College financials are such an imperfect process. You might think that the higher ranked schools won’t give as much merit aid, and while in general that is true, the specifics may vary by student. My daughter’s highest merit aid amount was from the school that ranked the highest in U.S. news rankings, while she was rejected by a school ranked 5 spots lower.

Tell your kid what you can afford. Have them apply widely and see what they get in financial aid packages.

[Anonymous]

I was a kid whose only involved parent couldn't afford anything at all and whose other parent was alive and wealthy but unwilling to spend a dime, hence no financial aid. I was admitted to a top school, borrowed everything through a combination of government and private loans and some local scholarships and competitions. I paid it all back with minimum difficulty after med school. Debt was gone by age 36.

[Anonymous]

You are sad, because you want something that is a luxury good. You don't need it. You want it and you have money for it.
My $50k invested turned into $300k in 5 years.
Invest your savings better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t afford a top school for DD unless I spend my life savings, which I’m not willing to do.
But I’m sad that she worked hard in high school and can’t apply to anything that will cost more than in state.
Her friends are applying to ivy schools because they qualify for financial aid and they can afford to go there if they get in.
DD could likely get into a top 20 school but wouldn’t get merit aid there.
Just a vent.

Should have saved more. Oh well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ROTC

Ok ROTC does not work that way (speaking as someone with a kid in ROTC and no money at the moment). Getting a scholarship is incredibly competitive - somewhat easier once you hit your junior year and potentially commission, but still far from a sure thing.

I just hear this casually mentioned here all the time and I wanted to correct the record.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in the same boat, and I feel sad, too. I'm still going to encourage my son to apply to his top choice schools, because you never know. But most of his list is comprised of state schools or lower-ranked schools that offer merit. I'm starting to make peace with it. He'll be fine. He'll get a good education, and he won't be in debt (and I'll still be able to retire). I'm pretty sure I'll look back in a few years and wonder why I ever worried about it. In the meantime, I understand and share your feelings. Hang in there. (And ignore unkind responses.)

I appreciate that you are sad (both you and OP) but this perspective is correct. The most important thing you can do now is ensure your kid doesn’t pick up on your disappointment.

So many kids pick school to impress their peers rather than because it offers good value for them. Those kids often end up in debt or spending a lot for no better outcomes. To impress who? A high school classmate they probably won’t ever see again after graduation?