Sad that I can’t afford a top school for DD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a different experience than OP. We are a state school budget family and I saw it as a blessing. With a highly academic student, removing T20 from your lives and finding all the wonderful opportunities around you without the awful pressure and stress from Ivy discussions turned out to be a blessing.

+10000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t afford a top school for DD unless I spend my life savings, which I’m not willing to do.
But I’m sad that she worked hard in high school and can’t apply to anything that will cost more than in state.
Her friends are applying to ivy schools because they qualify for financial aid and they can afford to go there if they get in.
DD could likely get into a top 20 school but wouldn’t get merit aid there.
Just a vent.

You can get 20k merit at a lot of great schools. Be a little more flexible with those so the choices are not just state schools. You can afford that…Grinnell, for instance, 20k merit minimum if you apply ED…

People on this board and...Iowa are something else

People on this board thing UVA and Michigan are Harvard.

People on this board know, from personal experience, that successful people will be successful regardless of where they attended college. Some of the most successful people I know didn’t attend anywhere even close to UVA or Michigan and they have the life posters on here drool over.

Cream rises to the top.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t afford a top school for DD unless I spend my life savings, which I’m not willing to do.
But I’m sad that she worked hard in high school and can’t apply to anything that will cost more than in state.
Her friends are applying to ivy schools because they qualify for financial aid and they can afford to go there if they get in.
DD could likely get into a top 20 school but wouldn’t get merit aid there.
Just a vent.

How did you spend your money OP? We didn't go on fancy international vacations. We watched others do this with some envy but guess what, now they can't afford out of state private colleges and we can.

It definately is a choice. And anyone taking fancy international vacations certainly could have cut back a bit and saved. If you save early, it doesn't take that much ($100K total can easily turn into 400K by time kid is in junior/senior year)

please stop making it sound like paying exorbitant tuition is a normal thing to do. There is absolutely no advantage of going to a t20 over t60 if your kid is smart and hardworking.

Just pointing out that people do plan and save, even in the "donut Hole".
It's a choice.

I agree, if that it's 99% what you do while you are there and 1% where you attend. SO find a school YOU can AFFORD, that is best for your kid and apply.

But also, if someone has been making $250K+ for at least 5+ years, they could have opted to save more. It's their choice. But they likely went from $150-250K over several years, and each time you get an increase, you can choose to save it and not "let lifestyle creep happen". Most people are not disciplined enough to do that. But if you want your kid to have the option of attending Harvard/T25/$90K schools, that is what you have to do.
Not saying it's the smart choice.

My own kid (engineering major) got $42K/year at CWRU (T50 school). Had we not been easily able to pay full pay, they would be at CWRU. However, they chose a similar school (slightly higher ranked, but very similar) at full pay. But my kid knows (as their college counselor kept pointing out until I told them to stop with the money aspect) that 99% of kids would be choosing CWRU for the incredible merit offer. The differences between the schools was not much--more of a fit issue, but my kid would have found their place at CWRU if they attended.

I respect your candid reply and it is obvious that your family made an informed decision.
I just think that it’s very important to NOT normalize $100k/yr CoA when the job market is changing so fast. A lot of hearts are gonna be broken when kids would have to pivot to a different skill set after having spent a fortune learning something that’s no longer relevant after 4 years.

[Anonymous]

We have to stop this nonsense than any private school is better than any state school. There is so much nuance being ignored here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a different experience than OP. We are a state school budget family and I saw it as a blessing. With a highly academic student, removing T20 from your lives and finding all the wonderful opportunities around you without the awful pressure and stress from Ivy discussions turned out to be a blessing.

+10000

Same and my kid ended up being an NMF. Took the free ride to a flagship. Huge blessing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Throughout your life as a parent, you made choices about your spending that didn't include planning to have the money for the level of higher education you want your child to have. I'm sure you could have found a less expensive house, taken less expensive vacations, bought food at cheaper grocery stores, spent less on activities and the like. But you didn't.

And now that you are faced with the decision as to how to spend the money you have, which does include enough to pay for the level of education you want to give your child, you do not want to give that level of education to your child.

The only person you should be disappointed in is yourself. You could have but chose not to.

YES!!! The problem is the OP has eaten too much avocado toast. It can't possibly be that the system is broken, tuition has increased nearly 180% since her child was born, the federal and state governments have cut funding, and schools have complex shady systems that claims most people don't pay the sticker price, except maybe you-- sucker!

[Anonymous]

What’s your HHI and NW, OP? My sympathies depend that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Throughout your life as a parent, you made choices about your spending that didn't include planning to have the money for the level of higher education you want your child to have. I'm sure you could have found a less expensive house, taken less expensive vacations, bought food at cheaper grocery stores, spent less on activities and the like. But you didn't.

And now that you are faced with the decision as to how to spend the money you have, which does include enough to pay for the level of education you want to give your child, you do not want to give that level of education to your child.

The only person you should be disappointed in is yourself. You could have but chose not to.

YES!!! The problem is the OP has eaten too much avocado toast. It can't possibly be that the system is broken, tuition has increased nearly 180% since her child was born, the federal and state governments have cut funding, and schools have complex shady systems that claims most people don't pay the sticker price, except maybe you-- sucker!

The problem is parents who think affording private education is an entitlement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Throughout your life as a parent, you made choices about your spending that didn't include planning to have the money for the level of higher education you want your child to have. I'm sure you could have found a less expensive house, taken less expensive vacations, bought food at cheaper grocery stores, spent less on activities and the like. But you didn't.

And now that you are faced with the decision as to how to spend the money you have, which does include enough to pay for the level of education you want to give your child, you do not want to give that level of education to your child.

The only person you should be disappointed in is yourself. You could have but chose not to.

dp.. chill out. College costs have skyrocketed in the past 10 years, even publics.

So have cars, but you don't see me at the BMW dealership demanding they give me a 80K vehicle for $40K, I shop at the Honda/Toyota and don't complain

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Throughout your life as a parent, you made choices about your spending that didn't include planning to have the money for the level of higher education you want your child to have. I'm sure you could have found a less expensive house, taken less expensive vacations, bought food at cheaper grocery stores, spent less on activities and the like. But you didn't.

And now that you are faced with the decision as to how to spend the money you have, which does include enough to pay for the level of education you want to give your child, you do not want to give that level of education to your child.

The only person you should be disappointed in is yourself. You could have but chose not to.

dp.. chill out. College costs have skyrocketed in the past 10 years, even publics.

So for more than half of her child's life, she knew the costs were ridiculous and still didn't plan? Look, I don't fault her for her decisions. I just have no sympathy for people who make choices and regret the known outcomes.

Exactly! It is not a surprise what the costs are. When our kids were 5-7, our Financial advisor helped us estimate 3 levels of college costs for when they would be attending: in-state, OOS/mid level private, and Top tiered privates. These estimates were within $3-5K for each type. It doesn't take a FA to do that, we had similar data from our own research. Anyone could figure that out.

So you can either choose to save, choose to attend where you can afford (just like everything else in life) or go into massive debt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t afford a top school for DD unless I spend my life savings, which I’m not willing to do.
But I’m sad that she worked hard in high school and can’t apply to anything that will cost more than in state.
Her friends are applying to ivy schools because they qualify for financial aid and they can afford to go there if they get in.
DD could likely get into a top 20 school but wouldn’t get merit aid there.
Just a vent.

How did you spend your money OP? We didn't go on fancy international vacations. We watched others do this with some envy but guess what, now they can't afford out of state private colleges and we can.

It definately is a choice. And anyone taking fancy international vacations certainly could have cut back a bit and saved. If you save early, it doesn't take that much ($100K total can easily turn into 400K by time kid is in junior/senior year)

please stop making it sound like paying exorbitant tuition is a normal thing to do. There is absolutely no advantage of going to a t20 over t60 if your kid is smart and hardworking.

Just pointing out that people do plan and save, even in the "donut Hole".
It's a choice.

I agree, if that it's 99% what you do while you are there and 1% where you attend. SO find a school YOU can AFFORD, that is best for your kid and apply.

But also, if someone has been making $250K+ for at least 5+ years, they could have opted to save more. It's their choice. But they likely went from $150-250K over several years, and each time you get an increase, you can choose to save it and not "let lifestyle creep happen". Most people are not disciplined enough to do that. But if you want your kid to have the option of attending Harvard/T25/$90K schools, that is what you have to do.
Not saying it's the smart choice.

My own kid (engineering major) got $42K/year at CWRU (T50 school). Had we not been easily able to pay full pay, they would be at CWRU. However, they chose a similar school (slightly higher ranked, but very similar) at full pay. But my kid knows (as their college counselor kept pointing out until I told them to stop with the money aspect) that 99% of kids would be choosing CWRU for the incredible merit offer. The differences between the schools was not much--more of a fit issue, but my kid would have found their place at CWRU if they attended.

I respect your candid reply and it is obvious that your family made an informed decision.
I just think that it’s very important to NOT normalize $100k/yr CoA when the job market is changing so fast. A lot of hearts are gonna be broken when kids would have to pivot to a different skill set after having spent a fortune learning something that’s no longer relevant after 4 years.

You should obviously not go into debt to attend college (beyond the $27K total for fed student loans over 4 years). You should not neglect your own retirement in order to save or cash flow part of college.
No college degree is going to be obsolete, even CS, you have to learn to critically think and pivot as needed.
Also, think long and hard about spending too much for a degree that is lower paying or doesn't require more. Such as education, nursing, many LA/Humanities degrees. Go to a nursing program that is has a high pass rate and good clinicals--(Hint: many many many exist that are not T20 programs)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t afford a top school for DD unless I spend my life savings, which I’m not willing to do.
But I’m sad that she worked hard in high school and can’t apply to anything that will cost more than in state.
Her friends are applying to ivy schools because they qualify for financial aid and they can afford to go there if they get in.
DD could likely get into a top 20 school but wouldn’t get merit aid there.
Just a vent.

You can get 20k merit at a lot of great schools. Be a little more flexible with those so the choices are not just state schools. You can afford that…Grinnell, for instance, 20k merit minimum if you apply ED…

People on this board and...Iowa are something else

People on this board thing UVA and Michigan are Harvard.

People on this board know, from personal experience, that successful people will be successful regardless of where they attended college. Some of the most successful people I know didn’t attend anywhere even close to UVA or Michigan and they have the life posters on here drool over.

Cream rises to the top.

Well said
- UVA and GMU family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Throughout your life as a parent, you made choices about your spending that didn't include planning to have the money for the level of higher education you want your child to have. I'm sure you could have found a less expensive house, taken less expensive vacations, bought food at cheaper grocery stores, spent less on activities and the like. But you didn't.

And now that you are faced with the decision as to how to spend the money you have, which does include enough to pay for the level of education you want to give your child, you do not want to give that level of education to your child.

The only person you should be disappointed in is yourself. You could have but chose not to.

YES!!! The problem is the OP has eaten too much avocado toast. It can't possibly be that the system is broken, tuition has increased nearly 180% since her child was born, the federal and state governments have cut funding, and schools have complex shady systems that claims most people don't pay the sticker price, except maybe you-- sucker!

Fact remains that while prices have escalated at ridiculous levels, it is not that difficult to predict what prices would be. We did it 10+ years out fairly accurately (and before then knew they were going up at 3-6%+ per year) So we planned for it. And yes, we sacrificed at times, choosing not to do certain things. Heck my husband was a CEO and I still packed his lunch for him most of the time---it's healthier, wastes less time (company doesn't have a cafeteria), and most importantly saves a ton of useless money. If I can feed him healthier for $2-3 for lunch versus spending $20 each day, that does add up. Now add in taking coffee from home for the car ride, versus stopping somewhere to "pick one up". That's a $5 savings daily. So lunch and coffee alone are saving $23/day. that's over $400 per month. Start investing that when your baby is born, and that $4800/year will be over $150K when they turn 18.

That is just for ONE member of the family for a daily coffee and lunch out during the work week. Now apply it to eating out/getting takeout 1 day less per week, or for everyone in the family getting "Starbucks" 1-2 times less per week. And same goes for taking snacks to work that you buy at Costco or in bulk for a good price. Versus the vending machine or running to a nearby store and paying more than double.

So yes, "eating less avocado toast" or spending less on unneeded extras and directing it to investing/savings can help. Same goes for retirement savings.

Most in the donut Hole range do have some extras they can choose to cut.

Yes college costs are rising, but it's not a shock. And just like anything else, you don't complain "I'm entitled to something I cannot afford" and expect to be given it. There are literally tons of universities that you can afford, so search for merit and find the best choice for your kid and family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Throughout your life as a parent, you made choices about your spending that didn't include planning to have the money for the level of higher education you want your child to have. I'm sure you could have found a less expensive house, taken less expensive vacations, bought food at cheaper grocery stores, spent less on activities and the like. But you didn't.

And now that you are faced with the decision as to how to spend the money you have, which does include enough to pay for the level of education you want to give your child, you do not want to give that level of education to your child.

The only person you should be disappointed in is yourself. You could have but chose not to.

YES!!! The problem is the OP has eaten too much avocado toast. It can't possibly be that the system is broken, tuition has increased nearly 180% since her child was born, the federal and state governments have cut funding, and schools have complex shady systems that claims most people don't pay the sticker price, except maybe you-- sucker!

The problem is parents who think affording private education is an entitlement.

+1

There are still plenty of affordable choices for college, most of them excellent schools. Literally most outside of the T25-30. Most of the private schools give decent merit, if your kid truly was competitive for a T20 school. So focus your energies on finding the right fit for your kid in both targets and safeties and most importantly include that they must be affordable for your family.
You don't have to go into massive debt to obtain a great education at a 4 year college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Throughout your life as a parent, you made choices about your spending that didn't include planning to have the money for the level of higher education you want your child to have. I'm sure you could have found a less expensive house, taken less expensive vacations, bought food at cheaper grocery stores, spent less on activities and the like. But you didn't.

And now that you are faced with the decision as to how to spend the money you have, which does include enough to pay for the level of education you want to give your child, you do not want to give that level of education to your child.

The only person you should be disappointed in is yourself. You could have but chose not to.

dp.. chill out. College costs have skyrocketed in the past 10 years, even publics.

So have cars, but you don't see me at the BMW dealership demanding they give me a 80K vehicle for $40K, I shop at the Honda/Toyota and don't complain

but a car is not the same as a college education.

-signed a long time Subaru owner