Misstating age on OLD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. The don’t want to meet men who don’t want to meet a woman my age. Easy filtering of men who won’t be intellectually compatible with me.

You are missing my point. They might have a wrong impression about how women your age look like, simply because they see all the lying profiles of other women. So let’s say you are 55, and they are looking at profiles of women who are actually 65 biological age. They think “oh, a 55 yo woman looks too old to me”.

So in fact the only way for you to meet men closer to your own age (by probability) would be also misstating your age.

What will happen when you meet them and they discover that you lied about your age?

She'll be okay if she connects with another liar.
Maybe she'll update her profile to say she's looking for a guy who doesn't see lying as a dealbreaker.

How come disclosing age before exchanging messages is “lying”? The only thing OP gets is to overcome the filters abused by other users

It's not true because the guy created a filter to look for women who are 45 or younger. Your profile came up as a match. Now you're revealing that you're actually 53. He will clearly see that you lied about your age in your profile. That's dishonest. That's a lie.
You may be 53 but look like 45, but you are still 53.
People use age filters for various reasons; looks aren't the only factor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. The don’t want to meet men who don’t want to meet a woman my age. Easy filtering of men who won’t be intellectually compatible with me.

You are missing my point. They might have a wrong impression about how women your age look like, simply because they see all the lying profiles of other women. So let’s say you are 55, and they are looking at profiles of women who are actually 65 biological age. They think “oh, a 55 yo woman looks too old to me”.

So in fact the only way for you to meet men closer to your own age (by probability) would be also misstating your age.

What will happen when you meet them and they discover that you lied about your age?

She'll be okay if she connects with another liar.
Maybe she'll update her profile to say she's looking for a guy who doesn't see lying as a dealbreaker.

How come disclosing age before exchanging messages is “lying”? The only thing OP gets is to overcome the filters abused by other users

It's not true because the guy created a filter to look for women who are 45 or younger. Your profile came up as a match. Now you're revealing that you're actually 53. He will clearly see that you lied about your age in your profile. That's dishonest. That's a lie.
You may be 53 but look like 45, but you are still 53.
People use age filters for various reasons; looks aren't the only factor.

If 50% of women are misstating their age, I might be within his filters but would appear among dozens of “false” ones. At best my profile can be hidden for a while for that reason alone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. The don’t want to meet men who don’t want to meet a woman my age. Easy filtering of men who won’t be intellectually compatible with me.

You are missing my point. They might have a wrong impression about how women your age look like, simply because they see all the lying profiles of other women. So let’s say you are 55, and they are looking at profiles of women who are actually 65 biological age. They think “oh, a 55 yo woman looks too old to me”.

So in fact the only way for you to meet men closer to your own age (by probability) would be also misstating your age.

What will happen when you meet them and they discover that you lied about your age?

She'll be okay if she connects with another liar.
Maybe she'll update her profile to say she's looking for a guy who doesn't see lying as a dealbreaker.

How come disclosing age before exchanging messages is “lying”? The only thing OP gets is to overcome the filters abused by other users

It's not true because the guy created a filter to look for women who are 45 or younger. Your profile came up as a match. Now you're revealing that you're actually 53. He will clearly see that you lied about your age in your profile. That's dishonest. That's a lie.
You may be 53 but look like 45, but you are still 53.
People use age filters for various reasons; looks aren't the only factor.

If 50% of women are misstating their age, I might be within his filters but would appear among dozens of “false” ones. At best my profile can be hidden for a while for that reason alone

No, you don't fit his criteria. You're 53, which is older than what he's interested in.
He prefers someone who is 45 years old or younger. Not a 53-year-old who appears 45. It's not the same. You just don't get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. The don’t want to meet men who don’t want to meet a woman my age. Easy filtering of men who won’t be intellectually compatible with me.

You are missing my point. They might have a wrong impression about how women your age look like, simply because they see all the lying profiles of other women. So let’s say you are 55, and they are looking at profiles of women who are actually 65 biological age. They think “oh, a 55 yo woman looks too old to me”.

So in fact the only way for you to meet men closer to your own age (by probability) would be also misstating your age.

What will happen when you meet them and they discover that you lied about your age?

She'll be okay if she connects with another liar.
Maybe she'll update her profile to say she's looking for a guy who doesn't see lying as a dealbreaker.

How come disclosing age before exchanging messages is “lying”? The only thing OP gets is to overcome the filters abused by other users

It's not true because the guy created a filter to look for women who are 45 or younger. Your profile came up as a match. Now you're revealing that you're actually 53. He will clearly see that you lied about your age in your profile. That's dishonest. That's a lie.
You may be 53 but look like 45, but you are still 53.
People use age filters for various reasons; looks aren't the only factor.

If 50% of women are misstating their age, I might be within his filters but would appear among dozens of “false” ones. At best my profile can be hidden for a while for that reason alone

No, you don't fit his criteria. You're 53, which is older than what he's interested in.
He prefers someone who is 45 years old or younger. Not a 53-year-old who appears 45. It's not the same. You just don't get it.

I’m 47. I want to appear in search with 47 yo women who are 47 biological age and under. If 50% females lie about age, then a much higher magnitude of women (who are 48&over) would “saturate” the search engine. And my profile may never pop up for my target man . Thus the only way for me to prop up the probability of my profile appearing in search with those who are actually 47 is to reduce my age to 44-45, for example. And then disclose my actual age when he clicks.
Do you see what I’m saying ? It’s not about lying to any man about my age - men can unlatch. it’s about navigating the search engine to get my results closer to the actual biological age vs my competition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There seem to be a huge looks discrepancy between some women in their late 30s and 40s as well. I reviewed the female profiles of my “competition” similar to Amy Webb . Some 40s women look like they are late 50s. Some late 30s women look 45-49 yo to me. I wouldn’t have cared as I still look decent at 47. Some men also look waay older than me at age 47.

But the issue with that is - men look at these “40s” women and decide that all 40s women old and change their search filters. Then, even if a woman looks great she has no chances to appear in his search. Because 50% women and 30% men lie about their ages.

I spoke with my GFs who are also on OLD. They all were listing ages 5-10 years younger than their actual age. Like, a 53 yo friend was stating she was 45. She looks way older than me but would appear in search more than me.

Which is why men think women “hit the cliff” etc at certain age. My mother didn’t hit any cliffs and gracefully aged with excellent skin until about 70.

Do you reduce your age to avoid age filters? It seems to be the only way to go - play by the system rules. Then immediately disclose your real age when you match, reasons for that and they can unmatch after.

Not sure about OLD but some apps restrict you to within a certain age range of your own age.

Very biased and sexist of the dating sites. So some might try to get around those age restrictions by changing their own age.

[Anonymous]

It's kind of an arms race! I agree with OP. So many of the men I saw on OLD were clearly claiming to be 10 years younger than they actually were. I started setting my filters for my age and younger, though in fact I would prefer to date my my age and a little older, simply because I wanted to see profiles of me who were ACTUALLY my age. And I did end up changing my "profile age" to five years younger for the same reason. It's nuts.

[Anonymous]

Just quit restricting based on age and look at everyone 18 to 100+.

This age shaming the young and old is awful.

[Anonymous]

No. Because if you are lying about your age, your photos are also photoshopped to make you look at least 10 years younger too.

[Anonymous]

What if the issue is that men are trying to date younger women on OLD, regardless of how they look? I know a lot of guys who feel like their girlfriend should be younger, that younger women inherently have more value, regardless of their looks. So I don't think it's that all women lie about their age on OLD, but that people have this idea in their head that women are old after a certain age.

I feel like in real life, guys don't care that much about a woman's age. I mostly date slightly younger guys. My age doesn't seem to be an issue for them. But I feel like online, I wouldn't get interest from guys their age.

[Anonymous]

I’m 48 but do look younger because I’m petite (and because of some expensive procedures done on my face 😀). I matched with a good number of men in their mid to late 30s and just a couple of men in their 40s. I’ve noticed that the algorithm shows me many more men in their 30s than the older ones, and I think that’s because the men of my age have indeed set up their age ranges under 45 or so. I don’t mind for now because it’s been fun dating the younger men thus far.

[Anonymous]

I see a few profiles that list their age as X but say "My real age is Y." It seems weird but honest. Doing that circumvents some people's filters without tricking anyone.

I've been dating a woman for a year and she's more than ten years younger. She later told me she didn't see me on one app but she decided not to use an age filter on a different app and I came up immediately based on her other desired criteria. We both had been on two apps for a while. We met soon after we matched on the second app and we became exclusive in less than two weeks. I've always been honest about my age but I understand why some people try to circumvent the age filters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. Because if you are lying about your age, your photos are also photoshopped to make you look at least 10 years younger too.

OP here. My photos are not photoshopped and all men said I looked exact same as on the photos. I also offer everyone I match with a video date, if they want to see me before meeting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if the issue is that men are trying to date younger women on OLD, regardless of how they look? I know a lot of guys who feel like their girlfriend should be younger, that younger women inherently have more value, regardless of their looks. So I don't think it's that all women lie about their age on OLD, but that people have this idea in their head that women are old after a certain age.

I feel like in real life, guys don't care that much about a woman's age. I mostly date slightly younger guys. My age doesn't seem to be an issue for them. But I feel like online, I wouldn't get interest from guys their age.

I also get approached by way better looking and younger men in RL than online. I feel like OLD is a “meat” market where all females are assigned values based on their age and looks, and males based on their height and wallet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just quit restricting based on age and look at everyone 18 to 100+.

This age shaming the young and old is awful.

I believe there should be an app where people are not even allowed to show their age, as long as they are over 18. Purely attraction based. Would be interesting to see how sexes would match each other then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. The don’t want to meet men who don’t want to meet a woman my age. Easy filtering of men who won’t be intellectually compatible with me.

You are missing my point. They might have a wrong impression about how women your age look like, simply because they see all the lying profiles of other women. So let’s say you are 55, and they are looking at profiles of women who are actually 65 biological age. They think “oh, a 55 yo woman looks too old to me”.

So in fact the only way for you to meet men closer to your own age (by probability) would be also misstating your age.

If a man is not intelligent enough to have figured all that out without me having to manipulate the filters, I don’t want to have much to do with him either.