Do you have regrets about your Gender Reveal or any about waiting and being “Team Green”?

[Anonymous]

I liked finding out the sex at the anatomy scan. It obviously helped a lot with names. People also asked a lot leading up to birth, of course, and I had fun telling them. Little siblings also like knowing because it helps them conceptualize the baby more.

I have never even been invited to a "gender reveal" party. They seem...kind of silly, frankly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I liked finding out the sex at the anatomy scan. It obviously helped a lot with names. People also asked a lot leading up to birth, of course, and I had fun telling them. Little siblings also like knowing because it helps them conceptualize the baby more.

I have never even been invited to a "gender reveal" party. They seem...kind of silly, frankly.

I have never been invited to a gender reveal either, but I could see "revealing" the gender to the guests at an actual baby shower as a fun thing to do. Better than most baby shower games I've ever played, at least, and you wouldn't be trapped by a bunch of super-gendered gifts if you want to avoid them because the presents would be bought before they found out. This would only work for a kid you were going to have a baby shower for, though, so not useful to OP.

The people who find out in a surprise setting themselves and then put it on the internet seem like the worst-adjusted of all possible options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We didn't find out for our first two, no regrets. In fact, I think that's better because when you have months and months of ONLY knowing a child's sex and nothing else about them, you (and certainly old relatives!) will subconsciously start creating a subtle narrative in your head about what they'll be like based on gender. Plus, then people buy you genders-specific stuff, which is impractical if you're having multiple kids, and I prefer the gender-neutral stuff anyway. I know someone who announced they were having a girl and then got like 15 useless frilly pink dresses at their shower and very little from their registry.

The third we did find out for purely practical reasons. The older kids, one boy and one girl, were growing out of clothes and I didn't want to save both sets of clothes. That also was fine - way less excitement around #3 from others anyway.

Usually it's friends and family who buy gifts and they generally buy things from your registry or things they think you'll like. If you're a gender neutral person, they aren't going to get you 15 frilly pink dresses, even if they know you're having a girl. And if they want to buy frilly pink dresses so badly and you don't find out, they'll just give them to you have she's born.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand this logic that it “helps with names.” it’s not like there are a million outcomes to prepare for? Pick a name for a girl and a name for a boy and be done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand this logic that it “helps with names.” it’s not like there are a million outcomes to prepare for? Pick a name for a girl and a name for a boy and be done.

Yeah frankly what helped us was if we were stuck on a boy’s name we could leave it alone for a while and try out girl’s names.

We didn’t find out— I am a little surprised at how that’s become the exception these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand this logic that it “helps with names.” it’s not like there are a million outcomes to prepare for? Pick a name for a girl and a name for a boy and be done.

Especially for our third kid, it was not easy to pick a name and one less thing to do was greatly appreciated. It also helped with sorting the hand me down clothing prior to birth. Basically, I am in favor of anything that makes your life easier and knowing the gender often does make your life easier.

I have friends that did a small FB posting gender reveal for their second, where a friend baked a cake and they cut it open with their preschooler for the preschooler to find out with them. It was very cute and it was fun for all the friends/relatives to see it that way as we always enjoy a cute video of the adorable preschooler. I thought it was probably a good way to do it ,because then the older one would associate the news with delicious frosted cake, so it helps undercuts any potential disappointment for the older sibling (as they sometimes have very fixed views of what gender a baby siblings should be).

[Anonymous]

It wasn't a thing when I was having kids, but we did learn the gender in my high risk pregnancies. No regrets.

[Anonymous]

My last baby was 15 years ago, and I've never heard about Team Green. We just told the doctors and nurses that we wanted the gender to be a surprise. We didn't have a gender reveal party either.

Not sure why you'd want to crowdsource this, OP. Just do what you want!

[Anonymous]

I have three kids and found out once at 12w, once at 20w, and once at birth. I didn’t really prefer any particular way more than the other. Waiting until birth was cool, but we already had a boy and a girl and had saved all the baby clothes. But it was just as exciting to find out in the doctor’s office!

The only people I know who were disappointed were people who wanted to be surprised at birth but then accidentally found out early when a doctor or ultrasound tech slipped up. It takes a lot of effort to keep from finding out when you get the blood test and lots of ultrasounds.

I find gender reveal parties pretty tacky. No one really cares except your immediate family, and it was weird to me to mill around and eat snacks and vote about what my friends were having. Especially when the parents already know and it’s just the guests finding out. So weird.

If I were you, I would find out in advance so you can plan better. And if you want to do something fun with your older kids, you could ask for the doctor to write it down and open it with them. Or ask a friend to make a cake or something to cut at home with your kids.

[Anonymous]

We found out with our NIPT at 10 weeks. No party. No cake. Just an "oh" between the two of us as we opened up the email together.

If your kids want to be part of the process, have them there when you find out. Anything beyond that is over the top.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks PPs! It’s been a little over 15 years since my last child so I’m stating to look into what is now used and what is banned or discontinued (the Graco Rock n’ Play was a lifesaver all those years ago sad to see it go)

I had my first at 24 and most of my friends have just started having babies in their now late 30s. I’ll be 40 when this baby arrives.

I have no baby items and the grandparents who are living are elderly.

My kids are teens so it’s not little kids needing to get excited but older kids - I have two boys and a girl - wanting to be involved.

I really hope this isn’t with a new father. Please don’t do a gender reveal. It’s not important to anyone but your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have three kids and found out once at 12w, once at 20w, and once at birth. I didn’t really prefer any particular way more than the other. Waiting until birth was cool, but we already had a boy and a girl and had saved all the baby clothes. But it was just as exciting to find out in the doctor’s office!

The only people I know who were disappointed were people who wanted to be surprised at birth but then accidentally found out early when a doctor or ultrasound tech slipped up. It takes a lot of effort to keep from finding out when you get the blood test and lots of ultrasounds.

I find gender reveal parties pretty tacky. No one really cares except your immediate family, and it was weird to me to mill around and eat snacks and vote about what my friends were having. Especially when the parents already know and it’s just the guests finding out. So weird.

If I were you, I would find out in advance so you can plan better. And if you want to do something fun with your older kids, you could ask for the doctor to write it down and open it with them. Or ask a friend to make a cake or something to cut at home with your kids.

The 15 year old is probably totally embarrassed that you are knocked up again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:4th child but it’s been over 15 years and things had changed. This is a high risk pregnancy so multiple appointments where I’d have to explain that I am team green or whatever the current term is for waiting to find out.

Friends have all had gender reveals which were actually a pretty fun party.

I’m not sure which I would prefer. I’ve come across a video of having older children reveal the gener but there also seems to be some excitement to be had with finding out at delivery.

What do you regret?

It's your 4th kid and, other than you and your DH, no body gives a tinkler's dam.

[Anonymous]

Gender reveals are even tackier than baby showers. Both are gift grabs by gift hos!

[Anonymous]

You should not have a gender reveal party. Please do not celebrate their sexual organs and assume it’s gender 😉