Adult only destination wedding - what to do with kids?

[Anonymous]

We did this. Kids were invited and many of our friends brought their kids. We left ours home with the grandparents. Ages were 9 and 11. It was a good call for us. The kids that were there were not all that well supervised, mixed ages. A couple two hour bus rides where kids were all together in back on screens. Ours would have been ok the younger side and I didn’t want to manage this.

[Anonymous]

I’m having trouble fathoming a request that people travel to another continent to see me get married in this economy and also ask them to leave their children at home. Like who does this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m having trouble fathoming a request that people travel to another continent to see me get married in this economy and also ask them to leave their children at home. Like who does this?

People who don't actually want you there.

[Anonymous]

Take them and get a sitter or decline, both are fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m having trouble fathoming a request that people travel to another continent to see me get married in this economy and also ask them to leave their children at home. Like who does this?

This wouldn’t bother me at all as long as the obligatory guests (siblings, parents) are wealthy or the couple is covering them and they’re all okay with it. Everyone else can just decline if they don’t want to go. It’s even easier to decline a wedding overseas. No one would blink.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Send regrets. They don't really want you there.

+1
This is how to interpret any destination wedding. The bride and groom have every right to be married anywhere in the world they want but by doing so they are sending the message bolded above to others.

Plus they sending an additional we really don't want you to come but politeness tells us we must vibe of adding in another layer by saying elementary age children are not welcome? How big or how intimate is their wedding that children would be a burden?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m having trouble fathoming a request that people travel to another continent to see me get married in this economy and also ask them to leave their children at home. Like who does this?

People who don't actually want you there.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Send regrets. They don't really want you there.

+1
This is how to interpret any destination wedding. The bride and groom have every right to be married anywhere in the world they want but by doing so they are sending the message bolded above to others.

Plus they sending an additional we really don't want you to come but politeness tells us we must vibe of adding in another layer by saying elementary age children are not welcome? How big or how intimate is their wedding that children would be a burden?

For some people, ALL children are a burden no matter the size or intimacy of the wedding. They are annoying, have to be supervised, usually need some sort of special dinner or acomodation and some don't have time for that. Your kid is not another person's responsibility to think of.

[Anonymous]

It depends on how close you are to the couple. Our very good friends got married at a destination when our first child was turning 1. We didn't feel right leaving her and missing her first birthday. Now, 15 years later I do regret not being there for them. But who knows I could regret going if I had made the opposite choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Send regrets. They don't really want you there.

+1
This is how to interpret any destination wedding. The bride and groom have every right to be married anywhere in the world they want but by doing so they are sending the message bolded above to others.

Plus they sending an additional we really don't want you to come but politeness tells us we must vibe of adding in another layer by saying elementary age children are not welcome? How big or how intimate is their wedding that children would be a burden?

For some people, ALL children are a burden no matter the size or intimacy of the wedding. They are annoying, have to be supervised, usually need some sort of special dinner or acomodation and some don't have time for that. Your kid is not another person's responsibility to think of.

In our case we didn't invite kids because we got married later in life and we felt if any kids were included, all had to be included. Our guest count would have nearly doubled by including kids and the venue couldn't accommodate it. I will be honest, I also didn't want a wedding with over 40 kids. That's a lot to manage!

[Anonymous]

C. Send regrets

[Anonymous]

DCUM hates destination weddings and hates adults only wedding. Both are a real trigger for some bizarre reason. You need to crowd source on another website.

[Anonymous]

B I guess but that person is an ahole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Send regrets. They don't really want you there.

+1
This is how to interpret any destination wedding. The bride and groom have every right to be married anywhere in the world they want but by doing so they are sending the message bolded above to others.

What a strange perspective to adopt.

I agree with you that the bride and groom have every right to get married wherever they want but I don’t follow you on the thought that they actually don’t want anyone to come. I’ve seen more of the opposite where they get upset with people who don’t make the trip (which isn’t a fair stance to take).

As for OP, depends on a ton of factors but if we were going to make the trip during the school year, probably option A.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCUM hates destination weddings and hates adults only wedding. Both are a real trigger for some bizarre reason. You need to crowd source on another website.

Why crowd-source, though? When have people ever changed their minds about their weddings based on other people's advice?