Would you be concerned if your child was a sophomore dating a senior?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As my high schoolers say, if your grades don't touch, neither should you.

That's a good one.

Amusing but sad. Young people these days are so pathetically socially inept overall. No wonder many don't date or have bfs/gfs and just lower themselves to rando hookups on tiktok and SC.

It's because they have controlling parents like pp.

For reals. Kids need to date and learn how to get over their fears of the opposite sex and their bodies and become adults.

Too many Puritanical wierdos around trying to mess kids up and make them awkward loners and freaks.

[Anonymous]

I ask my child to date people whose grades touch yours. My kid gets it.

9th & 10th
8th & 9th lol this would be strange depending on your schools
11th & 12th
Etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Check your ages and the statutory rape laws in tour state. Dating teens can run afoul of these and if someone rats you out....

Always good advice. Most states have been raised to 16 years old Age of Consent now, but some are 17 and some even as high as 18 now.
Some have exceptions to the rule if both parties are within a certain age range, but some do not even have exceptions.

Main thing is to tell kids never to share nudies until they are 18 and only with those 18 and over. There are no exceptions there.

[Anonymous]

It would depend on the kid. I'm the parent of a junior girl. Most of her guy friends are nerdy jocks who are pretty nice guys, so it might not be that big of a deal. I was dating an immature 20-year-old when I was her age.

[Anonymous]

A senior who would date a sophomore is seriously questionable. Sometimes it works out but more often it’s a skeevy guy.

Use the biblical rile — half your age plus 7 years. An 18 year old shouldn’t date anyone younger than 16. A 17 year old should date younger than 15 and 1/2. A 19 year old shouldn’t date younger than 16 and a half. This rule works really surprisingly well at all ages. I’m 52. and I definitely wouldn’t date anyone younger than 33. So if this were a 19 year old senior and a 15 year old sophomore, that doesn’t seem okay. A 17 year old senior and a 16 year old sophomore would be okay.

Also, don’t hide stuff from your parents.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t allow my sophomore girl to date a senior. If my senior boy was 18, I wouldn’t allow him to date a sophomore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It would depend on the kid. I'm the parent of a junior girl. Most of her guy friends are nerdy jocks who are pretty nice guys, so it might not be that big of a deal. I was dating an immature 20-year-old when I was her age.

I have a nerdy jock who is a freshman and I’m so worried about him. I hope he finds his crew when his sport starts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A senior who would date a sophomore is seriously questionable. Sometimes it works out but more often it’s a skeevy guy.

Use the biblical rile — half your age plus 7 years. An 18 year old shouldn’t date anyone younger than 16. A 17 year old should date younger than 15 and 1/2. A 19 year old shouldn’t date younger than 16 and a half. This rule works really surprisingly well at all ages. I’m 52. and I definitely wouldn’t date anyone younger than 33. So if this were a 19 year old senior and a 15 year old sophomore, that doesn’t seem okay. A 17 year old senior and a 16 year old sophomore would be okay.

Also, don’t hide stuff from your parents.

So 60 year old date 37? Yikes!

[Anonymous]

It’s not worth it if you have to hide it from your parents - if they have concerns, better to hear them out. If you handle that maturely it can only help you all build trust.

My knee jerk reaction is that this would concern me - but I’m two years older than my DH and we started dating as teens (freshman year of college - 19 and 17) so it’s probably a little hypocritical of me. I do think it’s a little different being in the same grade though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As my high schoolers say, if your grades don't touch, neither should you.

That’s what my kids quote all the time too.

But my advice to the OP is to talk to your parents. Don’t tell them that you want to date a senior, tell them that you want to date Larlo/Larla who is a senior. And tell them why him/her. You would be surprised how reasonable most parents will be if you fully communicate with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In HS? Sorry, no dating in HS.

The senior only wants to practice having sex with you so that he is not a virgin at college. LOL.

In the meanwhile, you will torpedo your academic success.

its adorable that you think you can control this

Aahh.. but I controlled it beautifully. And both my kids dated and found good partners in college. And one of my kid is now married to college sweetheart after several years of dating in college and while working.

It is adorable that you think you have no control over your kids when they are living in your house. How can you be so deluded?

DP. You are deluded. What exactly did you control? Did your kid want to date a specific person, and you did not let them? Or you just told them they weren’t allowed to date at all?

It is not very likely that anything you did affected the outcome. If kids really want to date, they will find a way, regardless of what the parents say. Your kid might have done things without you knowing.

But it’s more likely that your kid just didn’t have a strong mutual desire to date anyone during high school. And if your kid did have a strong mutual desire to date someone and you shut it down because of your belief that they shouldn’t date in high school, well that’s sad. I’m guessing your kid never had much agency about other things either. Are you Asian?

[Anonymous]

Your kid is a girl? Senior is a boy??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In HS? Sorry, no dating in HS.

The senior only wants to practice having sex with you so that he is not a virgin at college. LOL.

In the meanwhile, you will torpedo your academic success.

its adorable that you think you can control this

Aahh.. but I controlled it beautifully. And both my kids dated and found good partners in college. And one of my kid is now married to college sweetheart after several years of dating in college and while working.

It is adorable that you think you have no control over your kids when they are living in your house. How can you be so deluded?

That's only the ones you knew about.

One benefit of your kids being in an intense highly competitive STEM magnet program in HS is that they really don't have time for these shenanigans. They are either studying, in scholastic competitions or they are sleeping.

[Anonymous]

I was a sophomore when I went to the senior prom and we dated for a while. It was fine and I don’t remember any oddness about it. My parents thought he was a nice boy and he was. It didn’t last that long but we kept in touch on and off for a while since he went to a local college.

I don’t think the age difference is bad and am looking at other things for my kids besides age alone. But I was kind of wild and had some poor choices in boyfriends. One of the worst choices was a year younger than me!

[Anonymous]

Bunch of neurotic sick clueless people in this thread who should get a grip on themselves and reality.