How would you handle this co worker?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask him why he’s asking you to do administrative tasks for him vs. using the administrative staff or doing it himself.

Speaking as a man, I agree with this. You should feel comfortable addressing this directly.

The only caveat I'd add is that you may want to try and determine if he does this to others as well. I don't think it'll change your initial approach, but it may contextualize the follow-on dialogue.

But yeah, shut this shit down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure of the answer but I just wanted to share an anecdote of an awesome seasoned woman coworker and my clueless/sexist boss. She didn’t work on his team but we had some sort of overlapping project. She came to a meeting with some personal handwritten notes she had made and notes added from the meeting. Like, her personal notes - she was not the meeting minute taker.

He said, “Oh that’s so great Larla - could you email your notes to me?”
Larla: (sweet as pie) Oh, no, sorry they are handwritten.
Dumb boss: “Well maybe you could take a picture and email to me?”
Larla: (still sweet as pie) “Oh no, I am sorry, I don’t know how to do that on my work phone.
(at this point I was looking on in awe)
Dumb boss: Could you make a photo copy for me?
Larla: “Oh I just won’t have a chance for that. Here, why don’t you take a picture! That was such a great idea.”

So she made herself look stupid in order to avoid being helpful? Yeah, what a masterclass in fighting sexism.

[Anonymous]

When he asks you if the admin is available, ignore those emails/messages for a good amount of time. Then respond that you’re not sure and he should check with her.

Just because she reports to you doesn’t mean you’re hovering over her shoulder to see what she’s doing every minute.

Slow-roll EVERY response to him with this kind of nonsense. Then just tell him, “Those documents are in the SharePoint folder for that case.” At some point you can ask him if he’s having trouble getting acclimated, because here at Acme Corp. everyone just does their own [document retrieval, copying, whatever].

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why cant you stick up for yourself and redirect. Be blunt. You're a senior to him, right? And it's not like he's a new employee, right?

"James, It's common knowledge that Doc X is in the shared Z Drive. Check there first. Also, as you already know, Zoey is in charge of all things admin. She's great and a super helpful resource. That's a second option. Moving forward, I will not be able to assist you with these types of matters".

Get over yourself!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure of the answer but I just wanted to share an anecdote of an awesome seasoned woman coworker and my clueless/sexist boss. She didn’t work on his team but we had some sort of overlapping project. She came to a meeting with some personal handwritten notes she had made and notes added from the meeting. Like, her personal notes - she was not the meeting minute taker.

He said, “Oh that’s so great Larla - could you email your notes to me?”
Larla: (sweet as pie) Oh, no, sorry they are handwritten.
Dumb boss: “Well maybe you could take a picture and email to me?”
Larla: (still sweet as pie) “Oh no, I am sorry, I don’t know how to do that on my work phone.
(at this point I was looking on in awe)
Dumb boss: Could you make a photo copy for me?
Larla: “Oh I just won’t have a chance for that. Here, why don’t you take a picture! That was such a great idea.”

So she made herself look stupid in order to avoid being helpful? Yeah, what a masterclass in fighting sexism.

I agree. Also, what’s the big deal about sharing the notes? The sexism isn’t really coming through with this example. But suggesting he take a photo was a good idea if he wasn’t higher than her on the food chain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure of the answer but I just wanted to share an anecdote of an awesome seasoned woman coworker and my clueless/sexist boss. She didn’t work on his team but we had some sort of overlapping project. She came to a meeting with some personal handwritten notes she had made and notes added from the meeting. Like, her personal notes - she was not the meeting minute taker.

He said, “Oh that’s so great Larla - could you email your notes to me?”
Larla: (sweet as pie) Oh, no, sorry they are handwritten.
Dumb boss: “Well maybe you could take a picture and email to me?”
Larla: (still sweet as pie) “Oh no, I am sorry, I don’t know how to do that on my work phone.
(at this point I was looking on in awe)
Dumb boss: Could you make a photo copy for me?
Larla: “Oh I just won’t have a chance for that. Here, why don’t you take a picture! That was such a great idea.”

So she made herself look stupid in order to avoid being helpful? Yeah, what a masterclass in fighting sexism.

She trained Dumb Boss that she wouldn’t do his secretarial work. She didn’t look any more stupid than Dumb Boss looked lazy and clueless. He wasn’t her boss and he was out of line to ask her to make him copies or take notes for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure of the answer but I just wanted to share an anecdote of an awesome seasoned woman coworker and my clueless/sexist boss. She didn’t work on his team but we had some sort of overlapping project. She came to a meeting with some personal handwritten notes she had made and notes added from the meeting. Like, her personal notes - she was not the meeting minute taker.

He said, “Oh that’s so great Larla - could you email your notes to me?”
Larla: (sweet as pie) Oh, no, sorry they are handwritten.
Dumb boss: “Well maybe you could take a picture and email to me?”
Larla: (still sweet as pie) “Oh no, I am sorry, I don’t know how to do that on my work phone.
(at this point I was looking on in awe)
Dumb boss: Could you make a photo copy for me?
Larla: “Oh I just won’t have a chance for that. Here, why don’t you take a picture! That was such a great idea.”

So she made herself look stupid in order to avoid being helpful? Yeah, what a masterclass in fighting sexism.

I agree. Also, what’s the big deal about sharing the notes? The sexism isn’t really coming through with this example. But suggesting he take a photo was a good idea if he wasn’t higher than her on the food chain.

They were her handwritten notes in her own personal notebook.

[Anonymous]

Hmm, I don't think it's OP's job to be nice. It's her job to get him to be productive. There's a difference. I would send a polite email telling him to ask the admin. Verbally, I would tell him that he needs to be aware of how the hierarchy works at this company, and that he is expected to be more independent in his own tasks. Because aside from suspicions of sexism... this is really what it's about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure of the answer but I just wanted to share an anecdote of an awesome seasoned woman coworker and my clueless/sexist boss. She didn’t work on his team but we had some sort of overlapping project. She came to a meeting with some personal handwritten notes she had made and notes added from the meeting. Like, her personal notes - she was not the meeting minute taker.

He said, “Oh that’s so great Larla - could you email your notes to me?”
Larla: (sweet as pie) Oh, no, sorry they are handwritten.
Dumb boss: “Well maybe you could take a picture and email to me?”
Larla: (still sweet as pie) “Oh no, I am sorry, I don’t know how to do that on my work phone.
(at this point I was looking on in awe)
Dumb boss: Could you make a photo copy for me?
Larla: “Oh I just won’t have a chance for that. Here, why don’t you take a picture! That was such a great idea.”

So she made herself look stupid in order to avoid being helpful? Yeah, what a masterclass in fighting sexism.

She trained Dumb Boss that she wouldn’t do his secretarial work. She didn’t look any more stupid than Dumb Boss looked lazy and clueless. He wasn’t her boss and he was out of line to ask her to make him copies or take notes for him.

A couple thoughts:

1) The only thing she trained people on was that she was either dumb or unhelpful or both.
2) He didn't ask her to take notes. He asked for a copy of her existing notes. It would have taken her 30 seconds or less to send them to him.
3) Just because she doesn't report to him doesn't mean she shouldn't be away of his potential influence on her.

There is real, problematic sexism in this world. Fight that, not these stupid, performative, imaginary battles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure of the answer but I just wanted to share an anecdote of an awesome seasoned woman coworker and my clueless/sexist boss. She didn’t work on his team but we had some sort of overlapping project. She came to a meeting with some personal handwritten notes she had made and notes added from the meeting. Like, her personal notes - she was not the meeting minute taker.

He said, “Oh that’s so great Larla - could you email your notes to me?”
Larla: (sweet as pie) Oh, no, sorry they are handwritten.
Dumb boss: “Well maybe you could take a picture and email to me?”
Larla: (still sweet as pie) “Oh no, I am sorry, I don’t know how to do that on my work phone.
(at this point I was looking on in awe)
Dumb boss: Could you make a photo copy for me?
Larla: “Oh I just won’t have a chance for that. Here, why don’t you take a picture! That was such a great idea.”

So she made herself look stupid in order to avoid being helpful? Yeah, what a masterclass in fighting sexism.

She trained Dumb Boss that she wouldn’t do his secretarial work. She didn’t look any more stupid than Dumb Boss looked lazy and clueless. He wasn’t her boss and he was out of line to ask her to make him copies or take notes for him.

A couple thoughts:

1) The only thing she trained people on was that she was either dumb or unhelpful or both.
2) He didn't ask her to take notes. He asked for a copy of her existing notes. It would have taken her 30 seconds or less to send them to him.
3) Just because she doesn't report to him doesn't mean she shouldn't be away of his potential influence on her.

There is real, problematic sexism in this world. Fight that, not these stupid, performative, imaginary battles.

I guess you had to be there 😆 Trust me, she gave a master class in how to parry male learned helplessness, and he had zero influence over her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: So she made herself look stupid in order to avoid being helpful? Yeah, what a masterclass in fighting sexism.
There is real, problematic sexism in this world. Fight that, not these stupid, performative, imaginary battles.
I guess you had to be there 😆 Trust me, she gave a master class in how to parry male learned helplessness, and he had zero influence over her.

This is starting to veer off topic by why couldn't the man have taken his own notes instead of trying to steal a coworkers?

[Anonymous]

He might be flirting with you...are you both single?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also a woman so obviously this has happened to me before too. Two types of responses:

1. Circling in X to handle — thanks!

2. I believe you can find these in the shared drive in the filings folder. (*note DO NOT LINK THE DRIVE. IF THEY FOLLOW UP WITH AN ASK FOR THE LINK, LOOP IN ADMIN ASST TO HANDLE)

Or

X sent these around last week — let me know if you didn’t get the email. (*note EVERYONE GETS A 2X COURTESY IF THEY RESPOND AND SAY THEY DIDNT GET THE EMAIL. AFTER THAT I LOOP IN ADMIN TO HELP FIND IT FOR THEM)

Either way, the auto response from you should be helpful, but does not complete their admin task. I only do these menial tasks for super senior bosses if they need it ASAP and can’t wait for the admin.

Man here, just send a note saying "...they along with every other file are on X shared folder/drive." No need to be nice, or add anything else.

[Anonymous]

I would ask him, “I noticed you are having difficulty accessing files. If you need additional training, you should let your boss know and they can set up a review for you. I also noticed you need a review on x and y. You should get that done before your next progress report.”

[Anonymous]

All of these comments are too nice and helpful. There is no reason to respond to his emails. Period.