How would you handle this co worker?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nice guy overall but often seems to think I’m his admin/assistant. His requests are disruptive and not my job. I’m senior to him

Eg we are working on a project together and he’ll say ‘can you find those documents for me and send them?’

There’s an admin for our group who reports to me, but helps everyone, so lately he seems to reach out to her more often, but somehow still loops me in ‘is Larla available ? I emailed her for a doc at noon, and it’s now 12:15 and she hasn’t responded to me’ ‘oh wait, she responded’.

Please don't talk to his manager. He's doing this because you are a woman (he may not even be conscious that's why he's doing it), and as a woman in the workplace you HAVE TO be able to deal with this.

But there are two issues here - 1) does he have what he needs to do his part of the job on a project? i.e. - when he asks for documents are these docs he has or has access to, but is too lazy to go gather?; and 2) what is the admin's role?

-If under number 1, he's just lazy then be direct - Larlo, those docs are in your email/in the shared folder, please find them in there. If it's the admin's job to gather the docs for a project and then get them to him, then direct him to her. You can emphasize that it's not your job by directing him to your admin every time and by ignoring his emails.

Other tips, meet in your office at a set meeting time and cut the meeting off when it's scheduled to end. Task him with follow up. Basically, be the boss that you are.

Op here.
1. Yep, he has access, these are shared folders. He’s just lazy

2. The admin works for all of us, so she can help but often his requests are so simple that he should be able to handle things himself in most cases. But I agree, I should refer him to her.

And I agree, tattling is lame. That’s not how things are handled productively. Although I’ll admit I am often passive aggressive and ignore his messages. I’m busy and responding to him disrupts my work flow

I would respond to him by telling him where the documents are located when you have time to get to his email.

Hi Bill, the PMP and the OTR documents are in the SPS folder in the team share point. Let Cassandra know if you don’t have folder access and she can help you get that set up.

This. It’s to the point and it’s not passive aggressive.

[Anonymous]

Being "passive aggressive" the way you described is just encouraging him to ask more and more and complain you don't meet his requests. Do what 9:44 and 9:59 suggest.

[Anonymous]

I would go a step further and just send out a list of the directories and call it a day.

The problem is every request breaks her flow.

But if she ignores, he has a paper trail of her ignoring him.

So send that one requisite email of links and then if you're ever called out on it you can refer to that as a CYA and safely ignore him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nice guy overall but often seems to think I’m his admin/assistant. His requests are disruptive and not my job. I’m senior to him

Eg we are working on a project together and he’ll say ‘can you find those documents for me and send them?’

There’s an admin for our group who reports to me, but helps everyone, so lately he seems to reach out to her more often, but somehow still loops me in ‘is Larla available ? I emailed her for a doc at noon, and it’s now 12:15 and she hasn’t responded to me’ ‘oh wait, she responded’.

Please don't talk to his manager. He's doing this because you are a woman (he may not even be conscious that's why he's doing it), and as a woman in the workplace you HAVE TO be able to deal with this.

But there are two issues here - 1) does he have what he needs to do his part of the job on a project? i.e. - when he asks for documents are these docs he has or has access to, but is too lazy to go gather?; and 2) what is the admin's role?

-If under number 1, he's just lazy then be direct - Larlo, those docs are in your email/in the shared folder, please find them in there. If it's the admin's job to gather the docs for a project and then get them to him, then direct him to her. You can emphasize that it's not your job by directing him to your admin every time and by ignoring his emails.

Other tips, meet in your office at a set meeting time and cut the meeting off when it's scheduled to end. Task him with follow up. Basically, be the boss that you are.

Op here.
1. Yep, he has access, these are shared folders. He’s just lazy

2. The admin works for all of us, so she can help but often his requests are so simple that he should be able to handle things himself in most cases. But I agree, I should refer him to her.

And I agree, tattling is lame. That’s not how things are handled productively. Although I’ll admit I am often passive aggressive and ignore his messages. I’m busy and responding to him disrupts my work flow

I would respond to him by telling him where the documents are located when you have time to get to his email.

Hi Bill, the PMP and the OTR documents are in the SPS folder in the team share point. Let Cassandra know if you don’t have folder access and she can help you get that set up.

THIS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nice guy overall but often seems to think I’m his admin/assistant. His requests are disruptive and not my job. I’m senior to him

Eg we are working on a project together and he’ll say ‘can you find those documents for me and send them?’

There’s an admin for our group who reports to me, but helps everyone, so lately he seems to reach out to her more often, but somehow still loops me in ‘is Larla available ? I emailed her for a doc at noon, and it’s now 12:15 and she hasn’t responded to me’ ‘oh wait, she responded’.

Is he a new employee? Has he been trained? I normally "help" if they are new (3 months or less) after that I direct them to where to find the information, if that doesn't work then I start ignoring the requests "I'm too busy".

To be honest, the 'can you find those documents for me and send them?' Would pissed me off right away.

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure of the answer but I just wanted to share an anecdote of an awesome seasoned woman coworker and my clueless/sexist boss. She didn’t work on his team but we had some sort of overlapping project. She came to a meeting with some personal handwritten notes she had made and notes added from the meeting. Like, her personal notes - she was not the meeting minute taker.

He said, “Oh that’s so great Larla - could you email your notes to me?”
Larla: (sweet as pie) Oh, no, sorry they are handwritten.
Dumb boss: “Well maybe you could take a picture and email to me?”
Larla: (still sweet as pie) “Oh no, I am sorry, I don’t know how to do that on my work phone.
(at this point I was looking on in awe)
Dumb boss: Could you make a photo copy for me?
Larla: “Oh I just won’t have a chance for that. Here, why don’t you take a picture! That was such a great idea.”

[Anonymous]

gawd being a woman in corp US is exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Cc: Cassandra or whoever actually has the job of getting him access. And if someone else is getting email from him, cc them too with a little note saying thanks for helping Dumbnuts but now Cassandra can.5

[Anonymous]

I would respond very slowly and when I do, it would be to loop in the admin. If he did it more than 2x more, I would have a direct convo with him. It's not a good look for him and he will get a reputation for being lazy.

[Anonymous]

"There’s an admin for our group who reports to me, but helps everyone, so lately he seems to reach out to her more often, but somehow still loops me in ‘is Larla available ?"

Keep redirecting back to Larla hopefully he gets it if he doesn't you will have to be more direct and if that doesn't work I would talk to his manager.

I also don't fully understand why he can't get his own documents. Does he not have access?

[Anonymous]

Tell him you are not his secretary.

[Anonymous]

"Actually I don't handle that."
"I bet you can figure that one out on your own. Hey you did it! Good job, little buddy!"

[Anonymous]

In person/on the phone/via slack: "I/Larlo sent them to you last week"

If he says "I can't find the link"

With a disbelieving tone "just search google drive"

He pushes.

"I can't believe you can't figure this out. Ask the admin, I gotta go"


Email: I would respond with the link when I had time which is roughly 4 business days later.

Let him learn that you will not be helpful on basic stuff, and he's going to feel stupid asking you, and he'll stop. asking.

[Anonymous]

Speak to his manager or yours
Or re route his request every single time he asks.


Can you send these docs to me ?

You - Please ask XXX. They should be able to assist.

Include your manager and his on your response. Repeat until the asks stop

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why cant you stick up for yourself and redirect. Be blunt. You're a senior to him, right? And it's not like he's a new employee, right?

"James, It's common knowledge that Doc X is in the shared Z Drive. Check there first. Also, as you already know, Zoey is in charge of all things admin. She's great and a super helpful resource. That's a second option. Moving forward, I will not be able to assist you with these types of matters".

+1