What do you do when you don’t like your DC boyfriend/girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is your child? It matters.

She’s 14, soon to be 15

Too young. SMH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is young enough enough that you control this, mostly. Neither one of them can drive. I wouldn’t say anything, but do monitor her phone and minimize the opportunities they have to get together.

Thanks! Her first little “BF” was the summer after 8th grade, and he lives down the street. The second was last year, and he also lived within walking distance. I use the term “boyfriend” loosely. My DD is not a “ho”. This is the first “real” boyfriend, fwiw, and they need transportation, as you mention. I guess you’re right that we have more control over this than I had considered.

The red flags are that he’s a little possessive and I don’t like it. It seems like he’s always checking in and wanting to hang out, and she is abandoning friends to even just talk on the phone with him. It just feels like too much for this age.

It is OP way too much for 14.

There is some good advice on this thread. Make her unavailable. Lots of extra family things for a few months. I would also start mome and daughter coffee or smoothie time out of the house. Once a week if possible. It might cost you a few weekends away but worth it. She is way too young for him to be possessive that is a huge red flag.

What's with so many thinking controlling her schedule and forcing less time with BF is better than talking to your own kid about how it's going and what you're worried about with the BF? The red flag convo is not at all too much for a 14 yr old. You guys talk about 14 yr olds like they're 7 yrs old. Do any of you watch the shows that so many 12+ kids watch now on their phones? They are exposed to more real life scenarios and pressured to make so many choices you may have very little clue about. Not talking ot them directly and just trying to "schedule them away from BF" is cowardly and more importantly doesn't teach the kid anything, other than you are using family time "against them" which is how most teens with no other context about why so many more busy events are happening.

[Anonymous]

Go over important lessons with her generally, “now that she’s in a more serious relationship”:
—Sisters before misters
—People you’re in a relationship with you fit into your life, not replace your life
—Partners make you better and lift you up, giving you space to shine and grow
—Safe sex, consent, sexual activity conversations
—Act towards others with integrity and the way you’d want to be treated