DD has hickeys. Talk me down…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not cute and it is not normal for older teens. The presence of hickeys makes her look bad. The fact that there are two and it takes effort to do and it does not feel good to have your neck sucked on hard enough to leave a mark. Tell the boyfriend to not leave hickeys on your dd. Tell him it is not okay.

Um, please I beg you, OP. Don't do this. This is not your business. You can tell your daughter you think their gross but that's it. Even then, it's not your place. She's almost 18 for crying out loud.

17 is still a minor. It is 100% ops business. Hickeys are trashy. The dd looks like cheap trash. Her boyfriend did that to her. It is not okay.

[Anonymous]

It’s a rite of passage. No big deal. I had them at that age, but then that was that. What’s there to be mad about?

[Anonymous]

Imagine that your subject line was: DD has an STD. That would be a real problem. Hickeys are a phase. She'll get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not cute and it is not normal for older teens. The presence of hickeys makes her look bad. The fact that there are two and it takes effort to do and it does not feel good to have your neck sucked on hard enough to leave a mark. Tell the boyfriend to not leave hickeys on your dd. Tell him it is not okay.

Um, please I beg you, OP. Don't do this. This is not your business. You can tell your daughter you think their gross but that's it. Even then, it's not your place. She's almost 18 for crying out loud.

17 is still a minor. It is 100% ops business. Hickeys are trashy. The dd looks like cheap trash. Her boyfriend did that to her. It is not okay.

Such hyperbole

You grew up LMC, didn't you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's 17? Be grateful it's just hickeys.

Are you serious?

Different pp. yes my child’s friend was getting them in 8th grade. OP’s daughter is way behind.

[Anonymous]

Imo they do it on purpose. No big deal.

[Anonymous]

Angry?

[Anonymous]

Upset and angry? Over a couple of hickeys? Ma'am, you are out of your mind. This is first base. She's 17. This is like so innocent it's almost cute. Take a MAJOR chill pill.

Let's review the facts:

1) You know and like this boy! Great!
2) Your daughter was honest with you when they started dating. I started dating my close friend when I was 17 and went way out of my way to avoid telling my parents. This honesty is great.
3) They're making out! At 17! We must alert the church elders! Lol
4) While they could still be a LONG way away from sleeping together, they could also... not be. So this is definitely a reminder to make sure you're talking about s*xual health, safe s*x, consent, and making sure your daughter as a path to birth control.
5) If you freak out about hickeys, you'll lose #2. And it will have no impact on their behavior. Do not do this.

Yeah, your daughter is growing up, yeah, that can be scary. Deep breaths. This is fine. Do not react to the hickeys.

[Anonymous]

Hickeys are low class and low intelligence.

[Anonymous]

There's nothing to say other than suggesting another way to cover it up better. What's wrong with you? Calm down.

[Anonymous]

I am confident that friends/classmates will either tease her enough that she won't let it occur again, or will teach her how to cover them up. First time- I would let that play out.

But agree that it is a good reminder to keep talking about everything around physical intimacy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hickeys are low class and low intelligence.

Agree. He is purposefully “marking” her. Yuck. And she let him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is almost 18 and a senior in high school. About two weeks ago she started dating her best guy friend. This morning I noticed two large hickeys on her neck which she tried to cover up by wearing a hoodie and having her hair down.
I haven’t said anything but I’m super upset and angry at both of them. Neither of them have dated anyone before so I’m guessing he didn’t realize that it doesn’t take much to give someone a hickey.
What should I say to her? To him? I know him well and he comes over at least once a week.

This is a wild overreaction. You're basically saying that you're angry at your daughter and her boyfriend, both seniors in high school and that you *knew* were dating each other, for . . . kissing.

If you don't think people should kiss before marriage then don't let your kids date. And get some kind of therapy. But if you allow your kid to date you can't be "super upset and angry" when they kiss. That's idiotic.