Low-stakes neighbor issue

[Anonymous]

Maybe she tried to grope his package?

[Anonymous]

Before he came to my home I'd be knocking on 'nice neighbor's door and point blank asking what happened/if she is ok, and being straightforward that I'm asking out of concern for her and fear for me as Bob's coming to dinner.

I'd then cancel if it was full scale nuts. But if there was room for him to be angry, I'd have him over and ask his version.

Menacing to one person is confrontational to another and conversational to another. I'd really have to see it to know if I cared. Nice people can and do blow up. I wouldn't assume Bob is beating his wife/kids and pets.

[Anonymous]

After this outburst, I would wonder about how he treats his wife.

[Anonymous]

MYOB

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, if someone is imperfect, do not investigate, do not assume the best of a friend, cut them out immediately. /s

Imperfect in the context of neighbors is letting your lawn get a little shaggy. It is not screaming in the face of a longtime, smaller, older neighbor.

Have better standards yall.

If you've already decided to cut him off without even finding out what happened, why are you posting here? Strange.

[Anonymous]

😂😂😂

Dying.

Woke up around 4 am and can't go back to sleep, ugh. Thank you, this thread is the right amount of amusing and melodramatic.

Please report back, OP, if you find out anything more!

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she tried to grope his package?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are they still receiving mail in your town and why are you allowing them to use your address? I sense tax fraud or residency fraud for the purposes of tuition or homestead tax credit or something similar. Don't be a party to that.

.

I knew Bob as the landlord was the problem and not the "problem renter" as soon as OP said Bob still tries to receive important mail at the house he owns that the renter has to deal with.

Bob sounds like a piece of work, but OP did say the renter was a jerk. So I don't think that's made up. Still doesn't explain why bob and his family need to use their address. There is no reason they should still be getting mail at the house they no longer live in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Everything okay with Sara? We could all hear you screaming."

Maybe Sara was giving him crap about the horrible tenants and his ego got bruised so he got too emotional.

OP again. There is literally nothing the neighbor could have done short of physical violence or intentional destruction of property to justify public top-of-lungs screaming. Bruised ego? Too emotional? What sad, low expectations you have.

Really- nothing? What if Sara was driving too fast and carelessly and almost ran over a child- and didn’t seem to care? What if Sara damaged his property in a very costly way & tried to cover it up?

Now I’m not saying that is super likely. Odds are strong that Bob is just a jerk. But: at least ask. I can definitely think of some instances where I’d forgive someone for losing their patience and yelling. Also: you think Sara is nice but doesn’t sound like you know her very well either. I would not jump to any conclusions before asking what happened.

DP but no. If Sara were driving at the moment, I might yell from far away, like “slow down!” in an angry tone. But not after the fact and certainly not over a property dispute. The reason is I am not 8 years old and I know it wouldn’t work. Not for the speeding, not for the property dispute. In fact, it would likely leave me further from my goals (safe kids, resolved dispute). I might call the police on her or sue her, but I wouldn’t yell in her face. That would make me weak and ineffective.

The poster above sounds just like my father in law who is constantly yelling and feels “justified” every time. “Anyone would lose it.” Fortunately, I only rarely have to see him because of course his children don’t like or respect him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Umm....why don't you ask him about it?

How is this not the obvious answer?

He comes over for dinner and say "Hey Bob, yesterday I saw you having some sort of heated exchange with Larla. What was that about?

Yup just ask

[Anonymous]

How was dinner, OP? What did Bob have to say for himself?

ALSO - why is Bob still receiving mail in your town? This is sketchy. I would not allow this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How was dinner, OP? What did Bob have to say for himself?

ALSO - why is Bob still receiving mail in your town? This is sketchy. I would not allow this.

This. We've had a rental property for years and have no need to get any mail delivered. We've told our tenant to just toss any junk mail and if for some reason something shows up that looks legit, they usually snap a picture of the envelope and send it to us to see what we want them to do with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Everything okay with Sara? We could all hear you screaming."

Maybe Sara was giving him crap about the horrible tenants and his ego got bruised so he got too emotional.

OP again. There is literally nothing the neighbor could have done short of physical violence or intentional destruction of property to justify public top-of-lungs screaming. Bruised ego? Too emotional? What sad, low expectations you have.

Ok, but you don't know that neither of those things happened, so...

[Anonymous]

I would use the dinner to talk to Bob ➕ inquire why he was yelling at the other neighbor.

Then if after hearing him out - - I thought he was being unreasonable I would probably just have less + less do do w/him.
Since your kids are friends it may not be possible to totally avoid him.

And in answer to your question > no, definitely do not tell his wife.
That would open up a can of worms!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is easy. Carry on like nothing happened. Bob doesn't even live nearby. Both sides of the story may or may not come out. After that you can takes sides or not.
Every man has a breaking point. Nobody knows what Bob is going through.
You had no idea that even the nicest people can lose it? I'd be worried about Bob if he has never behaved like that before. Perhaps even the neighbor is when they go home and have time to think about it.

Okay so just so you know, this is an important point. People who sometimes "lose it" often have this belief that it happens to everyone or anyone pushed the way that they were pushed would have yelled. But actually, it's not true. Lots of us would never angrily yell at someone except for like, in a moment of immediate physical peril. But a neighbor? Never. I would sue you before I yelled at you. Seriously. I mean I don't sue my neighbors either, I'm just saying that yelling would not happen even if there were a serious conflict.

OP here, and I wholeheartedly agree with this. I do not keep people in my life who "lose it". This has not always been acceptable; it's only in the last generation that "everyone can lose it" became a pass for antisocial behavior. We see so much wildly inappropriate behavior on social media, and on our discussion boards (you know who you are), that we've forgotten that screaming at a neighbor used to get you shunned, and rightly so. There should be an expectation of civility, not an expectation that "everyone can lose it."

I don’t think that’s true at all. In past generations, people would have just said “oh that’s just how Bob is, he doesn’t mean anything by it” or “ that’s just Bob, he can be kind of a hot head sometimes.” Now, everyone gets cancelled for every dumb little thing.

[Anonymous]

What happened at dinner OP? Everyone ok?