Parents who fawn over their kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been amazed by this, especially one parent who has said, "she was such a gift to be around," "we were so luckily to have been able to raise her...," basically acting the the kid was the second coming of Christ. I get that parents miss their kids, but does anyone else find this a bit much?

LOL. When I run into these types, the child tends to be their only. I assume they have deeper issues or insecurities they are masking. It doesn’t really bother me, but it does come across as kind of odd and over the top.

I just posted about my only experience and honestly, your post is judgemental and uninformed. It would be like reponding "You just don't get it because you have multiple kids so your attention is divided and you are unable to form real connections. How sad and selfish of you."

+ 1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. It's in one on one convo, but multiple times. A bit too on social media.
They have multiple kids and it's clear they think their oldest is just that spectacular, I think in part, because they are a miniature version of this parent. ("She is a light, she brought a beautiful energy to the house and on and on). But I also see it on social media by multiple folks to lesser scale. I will do some exploring to see why this triggers me, as was suggested.

It triggers you because it’s an overly public declaration that in and of itself is over the top. It’s gross. It’s like the people who post the sappy nonsense when it’s their anniversary: “To my one and only rock, best friend and greatest husband of all time. You complete me.” Nine times out of ten, they’re on the brink of divorce. I think these declarations about their kid is similar. What you’re not seeing is how the kid is struggling like every other kid. It’s all fake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think my kid is great but he’s not perfect and it’s not always all about him. I need to prepare him for a world that’s not going to fawn over him or think he’s any more special than the next person.

While I don't believe in fawning all over my kids to other people, I actually think this approach is the wrong one. Yes, it is true that no one else in the world will fawn over him and think he's more special than the next person. But that's actually specifically why it's important for him to know that YOU think he's more special than the next person. There are billions of people out there ready to teach him how not important he is. Shouldn't there be one who thinks he matters a lot? That's you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my kid is great but he’s not perfect and it’s not always all about him. I need to prepare him for a world that’s not going to fawn over him or think he’s any more special than the next person.

While I don't believe in fawning all over my kids to other people, I actually think this approach is the wrong one. Yes, it is true that no one else in the world will fawn over him and think he's more special than the next person. But that's actually specifically why it's important for him to know that YOU think he's more special than the next person. There are billions of people out there ready to teach him how not important he is. Shouldn't there be one who thinks he matters a lot? That's you.

Original poster above. Single
Parent here. My kid is a huge part of my life and I think he matters a lot. He knows that and I hope I have instilled enough self-confidence in him to handle a world where he will be challenged. I also hope he feels secure enough in himself to value other people’s
Strengths and contributions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It can be a lot. Are you talking about the people who post photos on sm and gush about "this amazing human"? Those people just need attention and validation.
Signed, a mother who loves her kids but knows they are just regular folks but loves them anyway

Well said!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. It's in one on one convo, but multiple times. A bit too on social media.
They have multiple kids and it's clear they think their oldest is just that spectacular, I think in part, because they are a miniature version of this parent. ("She is a light, she brought a beautiful energy to the house and on and on). But I also see it on social media by multiple folks to lesser scale. I will do some exploring to see why this triggers me, as was suggested.

It triggers you because it’s an overly public declaration that in and of itself is over the top. It’s gross. It’s like the people who post the sappy nonsense when it’s their anniversary: “To my one and only rock, best friend and greatest husband of all time. You complete me.” Nine times out of ten, they’re on the brink of divorce. I think these declarations about their kid is similar. What you’re not seeing is how the kid is struggling like every other kid. It’s all fake.

+1. Same with people who decide to renew their vows and pay for a second wedding to make it a public celebration - they are the ones who are most likely to get a divorce.

Conclusion: Get off of SM and you will be happier.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you don't love your kids enough OP. Your post seems odd + jealous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. It's in one on one convo, but multiple times. A bit too on social media.
They have multiple kids and it's clear they think their oldest is just that spectacular, I think in part, because they are a miniature version of this parent. ("She is a light, she brought a beautiful energy to the house and on and on). But I also see it on social media by multiple folks to lesser scale. I will do some exploring to see why this triggers me, as was suggested.

It triggers you because it’s an overly public declaration that in and of itself is over the top. It’s gross. It’s like the people who post the sappy nonsense when it’s their anniversary: “To my one and only rock, best friend and greatest husband of all time. You complete me.” Nine times out of ten, they’re on the brink of divorce. I think these declarations about their kid is similar. What you’re not seeing is how the kid is struggling like every other kid. It’s all fake.

For some reason the declarations about a spouse are more annoying to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's healthy for parents to express love and admiration for their kids. It's far more troubling that other parents want to judge these normal, loving parents and make them feel shame over something that's harmless and wholesome.

+1

[Anonymous]

This does not bother me at all. I think it is sweet. Some people are just more expressive than others.