Parents who fawn over their kids

[Anonymous]

It should NOT bother you.

[Anonymous]

It can be a lot. Are you talking about the people who post photos on sm and gush about "this amazing human"? Those people just need attention and validation.
Signed, a mother who loves her kids but knows they are just regular folks but loves them anyway

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been amazed by this, especially one parent who has said, "she was such a gift to be around," "we were so luckily to have been able to raise her...," basically acting the the kid was the second coming of Christ. I get that parents miss their kids, but does anyone else find this a bit much?

LOL. When I run into these types, the child tends to be their only. I assume they have deeper issues or insecurities they are masking. It doesn’t really bother me, but it does come across as kind of odd and over the top.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been amazed by this, especially one parent who has said, "she was such a gift to be around," "we were so luckily to have been able to raise her...," basically acting the the kid was the second coming of Christ. I get that parents miss their kids, but does anyone else find this a bit much?

I think it's ok to speak of family members and your children in loving terms.

So much better than to be treated with indifference or passive aggressive put-downs that I witnessed far too often in my own life. The kids being "fawned over" are very lucky IMO.

So true.

[Anonymous]

It's healthy for parents to express love and admiration for their kids. It's far more troubling that other parents want to judge these normal, loving parents and make them feel shame over something that's harmless and wholesome.

[Anonymous]

I have never said those things to anyone but I absolutely feel that it was a privilege to raise my kids and get to know them. I like them a lot and miss them all very much now that they’re gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It can be a lot. Are you talking about the people who post photos on sm and gush about "this amazing human"? Those people just need attention and validation.
Signed, a mother who loves her kids but knows they are just regular folks but loves them anyway

I actually think it's fine to view your kids as "amazing humans" and to be blown away by the people they've become and to feel lucky to have gotten the chance to raise them. I do find parenting kind of mind-blowing in that way, to watch a kid go from not even existing to a full-fledged adult who I like and respect and enjoy spending time with.

But I think it's kind of obnoxious to say this on social media or in conversation except maybe once. People who gush about their kids on sm constantly are 100% attention and validation seeking because it's just not necessary. Sharing it once so people know that's how you feel, great. Beyond that, no one cares.

As a parent, it's really important to understand that no one feels about your kids the way you do, and you cannot force them to. Just enjoy your relationship with them and leave other people out of it.

[Anonymous]

I think my kid is great but he’s not perfect and it’s not always all about him. I need to prepare him for a world that’s not going to fawn over him or think he’s any more special than the next person.

[Anonymous]

I honestly feel that raising my child is my highest responsibility and purpose, and that it is a privilege to be entrusted with helping a child grow into an independent happy adult.

That doesn't mean I fawn over him. That would be counter-productive to the end goal of raising a great human. He is a huge pain in the butt and very challenging sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Where I’m seeing this show up is the crazy parents group on Facebook. I’ve appreciated the information about which towns to look at for hotels for parents weekend and where to park on campus. The price to pay is seeing the posts that, in my mind, are an overreach:
-Can someone recommend a tutor in chemistry? (Why can your kid go to office hours or the campus learning center? Why is a parent arranging a college tutor?)
-My kid has to take the campus bus to such and such place in town. Does anyone have the schedule? (Why can’t your kid figure this out on their own? There’s literally an app for it and any upperclassman can help.)
-How can I send deliveries from Target? (The aforementioned bus actually goes to Target. It’s a 15 minute ride.)

This is an Ivy League school, so my thinking is that kids should be smart enough to figure these things out. I’m embarrassed for some of these parents. Yes, I know I’m judging.

[Anonymous]

I don't know, OP.

I have one son and always wanted more but it just didn't happen. I'm really happy with our family and we're all doing great, but there's something kind of permanently ephemeral (oxy moron, I know) about having one child when you move from stage to stage. It's beautiful and hard and wonderful and emotional. I get what the person you're quoting is saying. I don't really think it's all that different than remarking about how beautiful a sunrise is and how lucky you are to see it (and no, that doesn't mean there are no bumps in the road).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been amazed by this, especially one parent who has said, "she was such a gift to be around," "we were so luckily to have been able to raise her...," basically acting the the kid was the second coming of Christ. I get that parents miss their kids, but does anyone else find this a bit much?

LOL. When I run into these types, the child tends to be their only. I assume they have deeper issues or insecurities they are masking. It doesn’t really bother me, but it does come across as kind of odd and over the top.

I just posted about my only experience and honestly, your post is judgemental and uninformed. It would be like reponding "You just don't get it because you have multiple kids so your attention is divided and you are unable to form real connections. How sad and selfish of you."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been amazed by this, especially one parent who has said, "she was such a gift to be around," "we were so luckily to have been able to raise her...," basically acting the the kid was the second coming of Christ. I get that parents miss their kids, but does anyone else find this a bit much?

I don’t know anyone who speaks like this. Maybe you have weird friends, OP?

You've clearly never met my SIL.

[Anonymous]

Op here. It's in one on one convo, but multiple times. A bit too on social media.
They have multiple kids and it's clear they think their oldest is just that spectacular, I think in part, because they are a miniature version of this parent. ("She is a light, she brought a beautiful energy to the house and on and on). But I also see it on social media by multiple folks to lesser scale. I will do some exploring to see why this triggers me, as was suggested.

[Anonymous]

I don't gush publicly about my DD because I am not that open of a person. But privately, my husband and I absolutely feel that we are so lucky, she was a gift, and that it was an honor to raise her. I feel kind of bad for people who simply can't believe other people actually feel this way about their children.

That said, my brother was special needs and was so difficult for my parents to raise. We obviously love him, but it was so hard at times. I understand this feeling too.