I’ve never had a therapist that helped me with much

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have CPTSD from being sexually abused as a child. I had good talk therapy around ages 21-22. Then, it just never helped me that much again. I did other types of therapy and one helped immensely.

Similar situation and experience. What actually helped you, PP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have borderline personality disorder?

No, I don’t think so. Although I think I have several symptoms - primarily intense anger at times that feels inappropriate.

Underneath that anger is a set of core beliefs that need unpacking. Usually a core fear of not being good enough.

And it’s possible that therapy can makes things temporarily worse before they are better. Think of wound that’s healed badly and inhibiting your ability to use a limb. To fix the wound you have to go in and remove the scar tissue, which will make the wound more sensitive for a time while it heals properly.

[Anonymous]

I have been to several therapists. A couple were useless, some were somewhat helpful, and one was absolutely incredible. She had me working on specific behaviors along with our talk sessions. She made a huge difference in my life. I don’t know what the secret is to finding that gifted therapist but keep looking and trying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have borderline personality disorder?

No, I don’t think so. Although I think I have several symptoms - primarily intense anger at times that feels inappropriate.

Underneath that anger is a set of core beliefs that need unpacking. Usually a core fear of not being good enough.

And it’s possible that therapy can makes things temporarily worse before they are better. Think of wound that’s healed badly and inhibiting your ability to use a limb. To fix the wound you have to go in and remove the scar tissue, which will make the wound more sensitive for a time while it heals properly.

I’ve stuck with therapists for years with little improvement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How hard do you actually work on yourself and the issues the therapists bring up. A couple bad therapists is one thing. Multiple therapists and none helping usually means the problem lies with you.

Therapists don't actually do anything. It isn't surprising that they aren't going to help.

Therapists hold a mirror up which can reveal your maladaptive thoughts, behaviors and coping mechanisms. They can teach you healthier coping mechanisms and tools and skills for managing your emotions. Most of the work is done by the client outside of therapy where you employ those skills and tools. If you don't like/believe in/trust therapy, then don't go. It takes a desire and commitment to change and the strength to admit what role you play in your own issues for therapy to work.

Most of them do the opposite. They validate false beliefs or encourage them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have borderline personality disorder?

No, I don’t think so. Although I think I have several symptoms - primarily intense anger at times that feels inappropriate.

Underneath that anger is a set of core beliefs that need unpacking. Usually a core fear of not being good enough.

And it’s possible that therapy can makes things temporarily worse before they are better. Think of wound that’s healed badly and inhibiting your ability to use a limb. To fix the wound you have to go in and remove the scar tissue, which will make the wound more sensitive for a time while it heals properly.

I’ve stuck with therapists for years with little improvement

Wrong therapists then.

I am training to be a therapist and I get it. I’ve had many bad ones but the good ones are great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Therapists are somewhere between placebos and con artists.

This.

My GP has helped enormously, listening to me talk about how I feel, the things they give me anxiety and then prescribing something.

[Anonymous]

OP I am glad you found a medication that helps. is the anger interfering with your life socially/at work, etc? Does the medication help?

Someone mentioned borderline. Maybe there is a personality disorder component. Personality disorders can be challenging to treat, but it is not impossible. Did you ever try DBT? That can help with the anger and anxiety and it's well researched.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I am glad you found a medication that helps. is the anger interfering with your life socially/at work, etc? Does the medication help?

Someone mentioned borderline. Maybe there is a personality disorder component. Personality disorders can be challenging to treat, but it is not impossible. Did you ever try DBT? That can help with the anger and anxiety and it's well researched.

Op. No issues at work or socially but I had difficult romantic relationships before my dh.

I spent a lot of time with one therapist (who did help me a little, not much) discussing whether I was BPD at a particularly chaotic period in my life, and he said his diagnosis was that I was not borderline, but he could see some traits that lined up. No other therapist since then has raised it. They’ve all said I have mild to moderate anxiety, and one said I have complex ptsd (from the relationship I was in where I discussed whether I was BPD).

Yes, I tried DBT, both on my own through a work book, and then with a DBT practice. It was one of the biggest scams I’ve experienced. So so expensive. They wanted me to do multiple 250 dollar sessions a week, and I saw little to no improvement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have borderline personality disorder?

No, I don’t think so. Although I think I have several symptoms - primarily intense anger at times that feels inappropriate.

Underneath that anger is a set of core beliefs that need unpacking. Usually a core fear of not being good enough.

Well that’s not really an answer. These were all well qualified experienced therapists so maybe something is amiss with the training and practice itself

And it’s possible that therapy can makes things temporarily worse before they are better. Think of wound that’s healed badly and inhibiting your ability to use a limb. To fix the wound you have to go in and remove the scar tissue, which will make the wound more sensitive for a time while it heals properly.

I’ve stuck with therapists for years with little improvement

Wrong therapists then.

I am training to be a therapist and I get it. I’ve had many bad ones but the good ones are great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have borderline personality disorder?

No, I don’t think so. Although I think I have several symptoms - primarily intense anger at times that feels inappropriate.

Underneath that anger is a set of core beliefs that need unpacking. Usually a core fear of not being good enough.

Well that’s not really an answer. These were all well qualified experienced therapists so maybe something is amiss with the training and practice itself

And it’s possible that therapy can makes things temporarily worse before they are better. Think of wound that’s healed badly and inhibiting your ability to use a limb. To fix the wound you have to go in and remove the scar tissue, which will make the wound more sensitive for a time while it heals properly.

I’ve stuck with therapists for years with little improvement

Wrong therapists then.

I am training to be a therapist and I get it. I’ve had many bad ones but the good ones are great.

Well that’s not really an answer. The therapists I went to were highly qualified and experienced so perhaps there’s something amiss with the training and practice itself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How hard do you actually work on yourself and the issues the therapists bring up. A couple bad therapists is one thing. Multiple therapists and none helping usually means the problem lies with you.

Therapists don't actually do anything. It isn't surprising that they aren't going to help.

Well I had a therapist who was quite helpful so there are some good ones out there.

Same here

our second couples therapist helped us turn our marriage around... so helpful, so grateful to still be married and back to enjoying my spouse

[Anonymous]

For me it was the homework (prescription for free time, X amount of hours a week). And the books they recommended.

The actual sessions were good conversations. At the beginning, almost like life support, strengthening me. And later on, helping me talk through thoughts that they told me to fix. Untruths I was telling myself. She helped me reframe all of them.

So are you doing homework?
Are you being honest if hw doesn’t work? (My child tells his therapist this)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How hard do you actually work on yourself and the issues the therapists bring up. A couple bad therapists is one thing. Multiple therapists and none helping usually means the problem lies with you.

Therapists don't actually do anything. It isn't surprising that they aren't going to help.

Therapists hold a mirror up which can reveal your maladaptive thoughts, behaviors and coping mechanisms. They can teach you healthier coping mechanisms and tools and skills for managing your emotions. Most of the work is done by the client outside of therapy where you employ those skills and tools. If you don't like/believe in/trust therapy, then don't go. It takes a desire and commitment to change and the strength to admit what role you play in your own issues for therapy to work.

Most of them do the opposite. They validate false beliefs or encourage them.

I do feel sometimes that long term therapy can create a conflict of interest. Many therapists like and need regular clients. Abused people often have poor boundaries, are used to feeling badly and being treated badly, don't question authority, and feel like they need someone to do the work or take care of them (they feel insufficient to help themselves/low self worth).

So there's a therapist that wants to have a full client list and make xxx dollars and having regular clients who pay without much or any accountability on the therapist helps achieve this.

(Different poster)

[Anonymous]

Therapy can be really helpful, but the relationship between the client/therapist matters a lot. It also requires honesty and work on the part of the client. It’s not easy.