How to inform family that their dear departed relative disinherited you?

[Anonymous]

If you want to have any closeness with them, I think they need to know. You don't want them constantly trying to comfort you when you are processing a far different type of grief. Also, if you attend family events they can't just assume they can sit you at the same table as the favored sibling and you will be fine. If they actually care about you, they will protect your heart.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t broadcast this. I doubt you’ll get the response you want.

[Anonymous]

No one cares OP. You want gossip fine but no one cares.

Parents do not have to leave their kids anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you tell the friends and family of the deceased that they gave their entire estate to only one of their two children and completely cut off the other child? This news would be a shock to the extended family as the disinherited child was always attentive and loving with their parents.

If so, how would you do it?

Need to know basis only.

No one pretends to know what happened.

Go gossip about other things in the town square.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you tell the friends and family of the deceased that they gave their entire estate to only one of their two children and completely cut off the other child? This news would be a shock to the extended family as the disinherited child was always attentive and loving with their parents.

If so, how would you do it?

Maybe they got their portion of inheritance whilst the parent(s) was alive.

Who are you in all of this? You are a spouse of one for the adult kids? Or the cut off kid (well then you likely k ie why)? Or the non cut off adult kids?

[Anonymous]

Step kid situation? Second wife or third wife situation?

[Anonymous]

My mom is probably doing it. My sibling and her have a weird enmeshed relationship even though they expect me to care for her. I don’t speak to my sibling and refuse to care for my mom. They are very secretive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am wondering how I will handle this when my stepdad dies and his friends, who I have known since I was a little kid, understandably try to console me like I am his (adult) child. Um, I don't think he considered me that. The half siblings (his and my mom's) get 97% and my siblings and I get 1% each of a large estate. Raised in same home. I even got married in that home.

He told us his plans a few months ago. Hurtful, but oh well. At least I won't have to plan that funeral.

Don’t help care for him and distance yourself from him. He’s not family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Without anybody else being aware of the inequity, the person sitting on the big inheritance doesn't have to endure any shame or disapproval for being greedy and not sharing.

My father inherited everything from his brother/my uncle who was divorced and had two children with his ex-wife. She was struggling financially to raise our cousins without him. My mother was livid that her BIL had done that, and insisted that my father give every dime to the ex-wife/mother of his kids. I'd like to think that even if my mom hadn't done that, one of my other aunts or uncles would have called out my dad for keeping that money. But my dad could have kept quiet and not told anybody about the will, even my mom, and nobody would have been the wiser. The secret nature of wills seems ripe for all sorts of moral corruption.

Wow now THAT is a good person. Applause for your mom.

[Anonymous]

I would definitely tell those I am close to who also knew the decedent well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why inform them of that?
Clearly you're fishing for a reaction

No OP, but yes, this is something that close relatives should know about. My family tore itself apart because of a very unfair will, which was overturned in court after 25 years. I've seen multiple inheritance issues in various families, all stemming from an uneven division of assets. It's very important to divide assets evenly. No asset division will ever be "fair" in the sense that usually each person receiving a portion has different needs and dependents. But the "least worse" way of dividing an inheritance is by simple division by the number of heirs. There are some cases where a trust fund can be prepared for an heir with special needs. That's the only exception I've ever seen accepted by the other beneficiaries.

You recount an instance of a family being torn ap[are by unevenly distributed inheritance, but then advocate telling people who aren't in the will at all. In order to . . . what? Stir up trouble?

Nothing good can come of publishing this fact.