How to make friends who aren’t into drinking?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS has noted that all the social events for incoming freshmen have revolved around drinking. He’s not really into that (yet). He’s wondering how to meet other guys who aren’t into it.

Don’t say “the Mormons” because we’re not Mormons. 😃

My DC joined a national service fraternity - they do projects several times a week - including one on Saturday mornings at 8:00am. No one wants to be out late drinking on a Friday night if they're getting up to do manual labor the following morning. It has been a great way for DC to meet people and bond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Alcohol culture is pervasive in our country. Pps are not concerned whatsoever about minors drinking/being drunk/not fitting in due to not drinking. It's sad, really, and sets these kids up for a lifetime of alcohol dependence for social and professional life.

💯

[Anonymous]

If your college kid has to ask his mommy how to make friends with kids who don't drink he has bigger problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

all the social events for incoming freshmen have revolved around drinking.

For? You mean put on by the college?

No by other students, upperclassmen, etc.

What school is this? It hasn’t been my freshman’s experience at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS (current senior) is really hoping to avoid a school where drinking is the only social outlet. What school, OP?

That's what they all say to their mommies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Singing club? You can't sing when you are drunk. Same for dancing club.

Anything related to healthy lifestyles, hiking, rockclimbing.

I do my best singing and dancing when drunk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS has noted that all the social events for incoming freshmen have revolved around drinking. He’s not really into that (yet). He’s wondering how to meet other guys who aren’t into it.

Don’t say “the Mormons” because we’re not Mormons. 😃

He's lying. He isn't going to the official events put on by the school. No college is serving underage students. He's talking about going to parties and bars.

If he went to the normal events, he'd meet people who weren't into drinking.

[Anonymous]

You still attend the drinking events

You stand and sip. Sip whatever, non alcoholic if you want. No one cares.

Be social

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your college kid has to ask his mommy how to make friends with kids who don't drink he has bigger problems.

PP seems immature.

Meanwhile, in the real world, mature young adults seek input from parents who have BTDT about all kinds of things. I wish I had talked with adults who had experience maturely socializing without being drunk - I’d have spent a lot less time drinking in college.

My kid asks his mom and I all kinds of question about stuff that we have decades of experience with that it would never have occurred to me to ask adults. An example is how to format a resume — college career center has ideas, and there’s stuff online, but his mom and I have both reviewed thousand of resumes for folks we’ve hired, so we have good feedback.

[Anonymous]

Gee, do you never want to socialize with people who might drink? Drink some? Drink a little? There will be a range. You go, and socialize. Some will drink too much.

To view the event as only about alcohol - is an immature, self defeating approach. Limiting one's social experience based on alcohol being present is ridiculous.

Go. Hold an empty glass. Drink water. Whatever..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You still attend the drinking events

You stand and sip. Sip whatever, non alcoholic if you want. No one cares.

Be social

100% this. Sip a sparking water with a splash of cranberry like every first trimester woman has been doing for 30 years. No one cares! Be social. If anyone asks (they won’t) say you take accutane and can’t drink.

[Anonymous]

My DD is experiencing a similar situation. The first week, the school had events every night for new students, but then there were the wild ragers off campus after those that huge groups of freshmen were going to every night She walked by one and said it was “crazy overwhelming and not her thing”. It was less about drinking and more about not enjoying the party scene unless you are there with people you know, it’s not a great way to meet people. She’s finding people who want socialize and not do that, but it takes time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Alcohol culture is pervasive in our country. Pps are not concerned whatsoever about minors drinking/being drunk/not fitting in due to not drinking. It's sad, really, and sets these kids up for a lifetime of alcohol dependence for social and professional life.

What are you talking about? It’s less pervasive than ever! I think 4 years in college is the only time someone will find a strong drinking culture in the US.

Go abroad where people drink much much more.

[Anonymous]

My kid and his roommate both don't drink and have never even tasted alcohol. They have been there a week and a half and have found plenty of things to do. All of the orientation activities are alcohol free. You just need to leave your dorm room.

And join clubs. Even academic clubs give you something to do.

[Anonymous]

My kid is at an Ivy and none of his friends drink. They play a club sport. They go to the gym, do a lot of pick up basketball, etc. Play poker, get together, etc.