How to make friends who aren’t into drinking?

[Anonymous]

Chat up whoever's not hungover at Sunday breakfast.

[Anonymous]

Come out as a lesbian?

[Anonymous]

Study club. Celebrating academic achievement, motivating each other. Premed students.

[Anonymous]

Get into weed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Singing club? You can't sing when you are drunk. Same for dancing club.

Anything related to healthy lifestyles, hiking, rockclimbing.

You think people who go hiking don’t get drunk? I’d ask you to meet most New England lacs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Singing club? You can't sing when you are drunk. Same for dancing club.
.

But you think you can sing and dance when you’re drunk that’s the problem.

For the poster that said he needs to figure it out himself, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with discussing issues with your mother. Ultimately he will figure it out himself but talking with family can help in the meantime.

[Anonymous]

My DS (current senior) is really hoping to avoid a school where drinking is the only social outlet. What school, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He needs to figure this out for himself!!

Honestly this. You aren’t there. I went to a grinder geek engineering college and still, most of the social events were around drinking. My roommate freshman year did not drink. We were friends but didn’t hang out socially a lot. She found her own friends and did things, she just didn’t go to the same parties. You can’t figure out for him how to meet the no drinking kids except give the advice not to sit in the room 24/7.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS has noted that all the social events for incoming freshmen have revolved around drinking. He’s not really into that (yet). He’s wondering how to meet other guys who aren’t into it.

Don’t say “the Mormons” because we’re not Mormons. 😃

Join a club. Especially one oriented toward nature or service. Neither of my youngest kids drink and that’s what they did freshman year. My oldest girl didn’t drink freshman year, but she’s a social butterfly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Singing club? You can't sing when you are drunk. Same for dancing club.
.

But you think you can sing and dance when you’re drunk that’s the problem.

For the poster that said he needs to figure it out himself, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with discussing issues with your mother. Ultimately he will figure it out himself but talking with family can help in the meantime.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS (current senior) is really hoping to avoid a school where drinking is the only social outlet. What school, OP?

All schools are a mix. How long it takes to “find your people” varies widely, mostly depending on roommate compatibility and luck of the draw with hallmates or suite mates.

Sometimes a kid quickly meets friends like himself. Sometimes it takes more time and intentional effort.

Teach your kid to stay positive and keep putting himself out there by doing activities he enjoys. Wherever he goes, he’ll find his people.

[Anonymous]

Alcohol culture is pervasive in our country. Pps are not concerned whatsoever about minors drinking/being drunk/not fitting in due to not drinking. It's sad, really, and sets these kids up for a lifetime of alcohol dependence for social and professional life.

[Anonymous]

Tell the kid to have a drink and relax.

[Anonymous]

I didn't drink in college. I'd still go to parties and just leave before things got too sloppy. You don't want to stay and end up taking care of drunks.

I would often go to a series of parties on a Friday or Saturday night with staggered start times (happy hours-->late night frat parties), leaving each after a couple of hours when people started being more drunk. I ended up with many different friends groups because of this party hopping. It ended up getting me voted in as class president. No one ever cared that I wasn't drunk as I was there to socialize and have fun too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't drink in college. I'd still go to parties and just leave before things got too sloppy. You don't want to stay and end up taking care of drunks.

I would often go to a series of parties on a Friday or Saturday night with staggered start times (happy hours-->late night frat parties), leaving each after a couple of hours when people started being more drunk. I ended up with many different friends groups because of this party hopping. It ended up getting me voted in as class president. No one ever cared that I wasn't drunk as I was there to socialize and have fun too.

+1. This was me. I have taught my kids to fill a solo cup with water and people will leave you alone to have a good time. My son is at JMU and says it works. He just leaves parties by midnight. It is probably harder for introverts though.