Begging for a date then throwing a tantrum over it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:he just completely flipped and started yelling at me that I know he “doesn’t do” dates.

This is dating gold. I'm going to use this line on the next woman I date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the answer is he’s a gross, selfish, immature dude. That’s why he begged and threw a tantrum: he’s gross, selfish, and immature.

The real question is, what do you want to do with that information? Do you want to persevere on how gross, selfish, and immature he is? You can choose that. You can also choose to find someone who…isn’t those things.

If I were a friend in real life I would be desperately hoping for you to find your value. You’re worth so much more than this!

OP. Thanks

No, I don’t think I want to ruminate on how immature he is. I think I was just processing things - it was very bizarre - he was sending me these sweet voice texts about how he thinks about me all day long and can’t wait to see me, so I called him up really happy to try to set up a time to go on a date, and as soon as he got on the phone he just completely flipped and started yelling at me that I know he “doesn’t do” dates. Just the 180 in a matter of seconds was so weird.

I get it. I’d want to understand it too. Problem is he probably doesn’t understand it himself. He’s broken. You can’t fix him.

[Anonymous]

I would make it a point to only 'hook up' with guys who a) like me back b) treat me well c) are attractive to me. He is none of the three- very unattractive when he can't even do a or b.

[Anonymous]

Sounds unstable. Doesn't matter why, you just need to move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the answer is he’s a gross, selfish, immature dude. That’s why he begged and threw a tantrum: he’s gross, selfish, and immature.

The real question is, what do you want to do with that information? Do you want to persevere on how gross, selfish, and immature he is? You can choose that. You can also choose to find someone who…isn’t those things.

If I were a friend in real life I would be desperately hoping for you to find your value. You’re worth so much more than this!

OP. Thanks

No, I don’t think I want to ruminate on how immature he is. I think I was just processing things - it was very bizarre - he was sending me these sweet voice texts about how he thinks about me all day long and can’t wait to see me, so I called him up really happy to try to set up a time to go on a date, and as soon as he got on the phone he just completely flipped and started yelling at me that I know he “doesn’t do” dates. Just the 180 in a matter of seconds was so weird.

You’re ruminating. You’re wasting your time posting here and engaging with posters about it when you could be spending your time focused on yourself, family and friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have this friend who says she wants to be in a healthy relationship, but she keeps sleeping with fockbois who treat her poorly. Then she wants to spend ages analyzing what they said and what they did. Why is she like that?

Unfortunately, not all fockbois come with flashing neon warning signs. They'll often have a line, or several, about how they "want to change" or "are trying to do better" and decent people will want to give them a second chance, etc.

If only they'd be honest upfront about their fockboi nature...

but...those are the flashing warning signs!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s a guy in my friend group who I’ve liked for a bit, and he liked me back. We ended up hooking up a few times, but I wanted more and he didn’t, and I always felt like I was chasing after him (he rarely initiated contact), so I ended things.

He spent days texting and calling me, promising me he would change, he would commit, he would start taking me on dates (which is a big deal for me, I love dates). I was hesitant - I don’t want to spend my time and energy on someone who isn’t into me - but decided to give him another chance.

Of course things went right back to the way they were, where he was distant and I had to pursue him. I tried to set a date with him, and when I tried to get him to plan a real date (not just hooking up), he blew up at me. Like legit blew up, yelling “I told you I don’t do that” and “you’re just going to end things again anyway”.

Point taken, I’m not going to bother with him again. But WHY spend days begging me nonstop for a second chance, then turn around and throw a fit when I expect him to fulfill on his promises?

The bolded part is the only part that matters. You asked him on a date, and he wasn't interested.

[Anonymous]

OP, guys like that are a dime a dozen, focus on what is up with you. Find a good therapist or support group and work on your daddy issues. Or keep living your life as performance art to drama. Bet you won’t like where you end up though.

[Anonymous]

Who cares why he does what he does?

Figure out why you care.

Take a year off from dating, do therapy and introspection and consider fishing in a new dating pool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have this friend who says she wants to be in a healthy relationship, but she keeps sleeping with fockbois who treat her poorly. Then she wants to spend ages analyzing what they said and what they did. Why is she like that?

Unfortunately, not all fockbois come with flashing neon warning signs. They'll often have a line, or several, about how they "want to change" or "are trying to do better" and decent people will want to give them a second chance, etc.

If only they'd be honest upfront about their fockboi nature...

but...those are the flashing warning signs!!!!!!

Sure, once you're fluent in fockboi

[Anonymous]

OP here and I have an update!

I have not reached out to him since he blew up at me. Today he texted me asking me to go out tonight!

I ignored and blocked him. But this is so bizarre. Why yell at me you don’t want to date me, then turn around and ask me out a few days later??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here and I have an update!

I have not reached out to him since he blew up at me. Today he texted me asking me to go out tonight!

I ignored and blocked him. But this is so bizarre. Why yell at me you don’t want to date me, then turn around and ask me out a few days later??

OMFG with your headgames... You got what you wanted, and now you're going to stonewall the guy? You two deserve each other!

[Anonymous]

Some (immature) guys only like the chase.
You dodged a bullet (if you can stay away from him)

[Anonymous]

he wants easy sex with no effort. What a loser. Dump and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here and I have an update!

I have not reached out to him since he blew up at me. Today he texted me asking me to go out tonight!

I ignored and blocked him. But this is so bizarre. Why yell at me you don’t want to date me, then turn around and ask me out a few days later??

OMFG with your headgames... You got what you wanted, and now you're going to stonewall the guy? You two deserve each other!

If someone only gives you "what you wanted" after being blocked and ignored, clearly they don't actually care that much.