Begging for a date then throwing a tantrum over it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who cares about the why, stop trying to make sense out of nonsense.

P.S. the quicker you learn how to just move on from bullsh** and not waste energy trying to understand it, the better your life will be in the end.

+million.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t buy the cow when you can beg the owner for free milk.

OP. That’s what is weird, is I told him if it’s just sex, no problem. It can just be sex. But he insisted he wanted more.

Uh, that’s not at all what your OP says.

[Anonymous]

I have this friend who says she wants to be in a healthy relationship, but she keeps sleeping with fockbois who treat her poorly. Then she wants to spend ages analyzing what they said and what they did. Why is she like that?

[Anonymous]

You messed up by giving him another chance to do the same thing.

You’re not going to get anything outside of sex with that man.

Lesson learned. Move on.

[Anonymous]

OP, the answer is he’s a gross, selfish, immature dude. That’s why he begged and threw a tantrum: he’s gross, selfish, and immature.

The real question is, what do you want to do with that information? Do you want to persevere on how gross, selfish, and immature he is? You can choose that. You can also choose to find someone who…isn’t those things.

If I were a friend in real life I would be desperately hoping for you to find your value. You’re worth so much more than this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He’s afraid of commitment.

As a 50 year old, with a lot of experience and a young adult daughter: WHO CARES WHY HE DOES WHAT HE DOES? When I was younger, I wasted a lot of time analyzing men and relationships, hoping that a man would improve his behavior. It’s all useless.

Go off of actions, not his words. He is immature and unkind and too much trouble. You are young and pretty, there are plenty of men out there. Life is too short to waste on losers. Know your self worth. I always tell my daughter “You need to teach people how to treat you.” Old lady rant over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s a guy in my friend group who I’ve liked for a bit, and he liked me back. We ended up hooking up a few times, but I wanted more and he didn’t, and I always felt like I was chasing after him (he rarely initiated contact), so I ended things.

He spent days texting and calling me, promising me he would change, he would commit, he would start taking me on dates (which is a big deal for me, I love dates). I was hesitant - I don’t want to spend my time and energy on someone who isn’t into me - but decided to give him another chance.

Of course things went right back to the way they were, where he was distant and I had to pursue him. I tried to set a date with him, and when I tried to get him to plan a real date (not just hooking up), he blew up at me. Like legit blew up, yelling “I told you I don’t do that” and “you’re just going to end things again anyway”.

Point taken, I’m not going to bother with him again. But WHY spend days begging me nonstop for a second chance, then turn around and throw a fit when I expect him to fulfill on his promises?

My advise as a man he is not for you. I have never been into women that have chased me. But that's just me, I can't speak for all men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have this friend who says she wants to be in a healthy relationship, but she keeps sleeping with fockbois who treat her poorly. Then she wants to spend ages analyzing what they said and what they did. Why is she like that?

Unfortunately, not all fockbois come with flashing neon warning signs. They'll often have a line, or several, about how they "want to change" or "are trying to do better" and decent people will want to give them a second chance, etc.

If only they'd be honest upfront about their fockboi nature...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have this friend who says she wants to be in a healthy relationship, but she keeps sleeping with fockbois who treat her poorly. Then she wants to spend ages analyzing what they said and what they did. Why is she like that?

Unfortunately, not all fockbois come with flashing neon warning signs. They'll often have a line, or several, about how they "want to change" or "are trying to do better" and decent people will want to give them a second chance, etc.

If only they'd be honest upfront about their fockboi nature...

A good way to avoid them would be by not sleeping around with random guys...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't try to find logic in someone like this. Who cares? He's damaged & he won't change.

OP, focus on why you are happy to be just a booty call for a trash man. Why do you chase drama? What childhood or generational patterns bear re-evaluating? Is your friend group big on drama?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t buy the cow when you can beg the owner for free milk.

OP. That’s what is weird, is I told him if it’s just sex, no problem. It can just be sex. But he insisted he wanted more.

Work on you self esteem. Did you grow up with your dad? Find a better class of friends. Life is not reality tv.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have this friend who says she wants to be in a healthy relationship, but she keeps sleeping with fockbois who treat her poorly. Then she wants to spend ages analyzing what they said and what they did. Why is she like that?

Unfortunately, not all fockbois come with flashing neon warning signs. They'll often have a line, or several, about how they "want to change" or "are trying to do better" and decent people will want to give them a second chance, etc.

If only they'd be honest upfront about their fockboi nature...

A good way to avoid them would be by not sleeping around with random guys...

Aww, that's so cute! You think it's just "random guys" and not guys who masked for months before revealing their true nature.

You sweet, summer child. Bless your heart!

[Anonymous]

They want things to be different.

They don't actually want to put in the work to change or suck less, they just want things to be different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, the answer is he’s a gross, selfish, immature dude. That’s why he begged and threw a tantrum: he’s gross, selfish, and immature.

The real question is, what do you want to do with that information? Do you want to persevere on how gross, selfish, and immature he is? You can choose that. You can also choose to find someone who…isn’t those things.

If I were a friend in real life I would be desperately hoping for you to find your value. You’re worth so much more than this!

OP. Thanks

No, I don’t think I want to ruminate on how immature he is. I think I was just processing things - it was very bizarre - he was sending me these sweet voice texts about how he thinks about me all day long and can’t wait to see me, so I called him up really happy to try to set up a time to go on a date, and as soon as he got on the phone he just completely flipped and started yelling at me that I know he “doesn’t do” dates. Just the 180 in a matter of seconds was so weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s a guy in my friend group who I’ve liked for a bit, and he liked me back. We ended up hooking up a few times, but I wanted more and he didn’t, and I always felt like I was chasing after him (he rarely initiated contact), so I ended things.

He spent days texting and calling me, promising me he would change, he would commit, he would start taking me on dates (which is a big deal for me, I love dates). I was hesitant - I don’t want to spend my time and energy on someone who isn’t into me - but decided to give him another chance.

Of course things went right back to the way they were, where he was distant and I had to pursue him. I tried to set a date with him, and when I tried to get him to plan a real date (not just hooking up), he blew up at me. Like legit blew up, yelling “I told you I don’t do that” and “you’re just going to end things again anyway”.

Point taken, I’m not going to bother with him again. But WHY spend days begging me nonstop for a second chance, then turn around and throw a fit when I expect him to fulfill on his promises?

Thanks for proving the old axiom that women are sexually attracted to men who treat them poorly. This guy got you to put out without having to spend a dime taking you on dates. I'm assuming you're moderately attractive, too. He's living the dream!

But you know what will happen, ultimately? You'll go back to him. Because he makes you wet.