Why does Annapolis not have the Baltimore nor Chesapeake Bay “Hoi Toider” accent ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Annapolis definitely feels blue collar and redneck, don’t know what you guys are taking about. About 50% of the people you’ll see there have tattoos, the food scene is 90% bar and pub food, there are no high end/sophistic restaurants, and it feels like a rustic town from the south.

Huh??? Have we been to the same Annapolis?

Your description sounds more like Odenton and Glen Burnie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Annapolis definitely feels blue collar and redneck, don’t know what you guys are taking about. About 50% of the people you’ll see there have tattoos, the food scene is 90% bar and pub food, there are no high end/sophistic restaurants, and it feels like a rustic town from the south.

Huh??? Have we been to the same Annapolis?

Your description sounds more like Odenton and Glen Burnie.

Yes, I’ve lived in Annapolis, and I’m born and raised in Bethesda. I’ve also lived around much of the US and even outside of it. Annapolis is not all multi-million dollar waterfront homes on the Severn River. Much of it is working-class and middle-class, and there’s a bunch of public housing within the city. Highland Beach and Parole have a lot of working-class rednecks. It’s not the rich la-la-la land you all wish it was, it’s like any other super segregated city from the south. Also, in my experience, the white people in Annapolis are way more racist and Trumpy than white people in Odenton, who are way more progressive. There is nothing high end about downtown Annapolis at all. It’s just a bunch of bars, pubs, grungy coffee shops like Rise Up. Anything fancy in Annapolis looks stuck in 2005, like Carpaccio.

Odenton and Crofton are far more cosmopolitan than Annapolis ever will be. The only “diversity” in Annapolis is Black and Hispanic people living in public housing. Both Odenton and Crofton blow Annapolis out of the water when it comes to the percentage of college educated residents. Diversity in Crofton and Odenton includes Asian, Middle Eastern, African, Muslim, and Indian families. They have the highest percentage of foreign born families in all of AA County. The horrible/garbage public schools in Annapolis would never attract those families in a million years. Not even wealthy people in Annapolis want anything to do with those schools.

[Anonymous]

Annapolis looking down on Odenton and equating them with Glen Burnie is hilarious. Almost everyone would pick public schools in Odenton over public schools in Annapolis any day of the week, it’s not even a contest. Arundel High School takes a dump on Annapolis High School in every category, especially when you take the IB magnet kids out of the equation who are the only reason Annapolis looks even slightly redeemable. There is a reason Annapolis has 4 magnet programs and Arundel has 0, because they don’t need magnet programs to pop their school up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Annapolis definitely feels blue collar and redneck, don’t know what you guys are taking about. About 50% of the people you’ll see there have tattoos, the food scene is 90% bar and pub food, there are no high end/sophistic restaurants, and it feels like a rustic town from the south.

Huh??? Have we been to the same Annapolis?

Your description sounds more like Odenton and Glen Burnie.

Yes, I’ve lived in Annapolis, and I’m born and raised in Bethesda. I’ve also lived around much of the US and even outside of it. Annapolis is not all multi-million dollar waterfront homes on the Severn River. Much of it is working-class and middle-class, and there’s a bunch of public housing within the city. Highland Beach and Parole have a lot of working-class rednecks. It’s not the rich la-la-la land you all wish it was, it’s like any other super segregated city from the south. Also, in my experience, the white people in Annapolis are way more racist and Trumpy than white people in Odenton, who are way more progressive. There is nothing high end about downtown Annapolis at all. It’s just a bunch of bars, pubs, grungy coffee shops like Rise Up. Anything fancy in Annapolis looks stuck in 2005, like Carpaccio.

Odenton and Crofton are far more cosmopolitan than Annapolis ever will be. The only “diversity” in Annapolis is Black and Hispanic people living in public housing. Both Odenton and Crofton blow Annapolis out of the water when it comes to the percentage of college educated residents. Diversity in Crofton and Odenton includes Asian, Middle Eastern, African, Muslim, and Indian families. They have the highest percentage of foreign born families in all of AA County. The horrible/garbage public schools in Annapolis would never attract those families in a million years. Not even wealthy people in Annapolis want anything to do with those schools.

Sounds similar to Alexandria.

I have spent a lot of time in Odenton and Annapolis. I’ll take Annapolis.

[Anonymous]

Annapolis and Odenton are literally both just suburban sprawl outside of historic downtown Annapolis. Unless you're living in DTA or in a $3M waterfront home, you're living the exact same suburban lifestyle people in Odenton do--except with less diversity, more Trumpers, and mediocre public schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Annapolis definitely feels blue collar and redneck, don’t know what you guys are taking about. About 50% of the people you’ll see there have tattoos, the food scene is 90% bar and pub food, there are no high end/sophistic restaurants, and it feels like a rustic town from the south.

Huh??? Have we been to the same Annapolis?

Your description sounds more like Odenton and Glen Burnie.

Really? Because if you actually look at school rankings, median household income, college attainment, poverty, and crime stats, Annapolis and Glen Burnie are far more comparable to each other than Glen Burnie and Odenton ever will be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Annapolis definitely feels blue collar and redneck, don’t know what you guys are taking about. About 50% of the people you’ll see there have tattoos, the food scene is 90% bar and pub food, there are no high end/sophistic restaurants, and it feels like a rustic town from the south.

Huh??? Have we been to the same Annapolis?

Your description sounds more like Odenton and Glen Burnie.

Yes, I’ve lived in Annapolis, and I’m born and raised in Bethesda. I’ve also lived around much of the US and even outside of it. Annapolis is not all multi-million dollar waterfront homes on the Severn River. Much of it is working-class and middle-class, and there’s a bunch of public housing within the city. Highland Beach and Parole have a lot of working-class rednecks. It’s not the rich la-la-la land you all wish it was, it’s like any other super segregated city from the south. Also, in my experience, the white people in Annapolis are way more racist and Trumpy than white people in Odenton, who are way more progressive. There is nothing high end about downtown Annapolis at all. It’s just a bunch of bars, pubs, grungy coffee shops like Rise Up. Anything fancy in Annapolis looks stuck in 2005, like Carpaccio.

Odenton and Crofton are far more cosmopolitan than Annapolis ever will be. The only “diversity” in Annapolis is Black and Hispanic people living in public housing. Both Odenton and Crofton blow Annapolis out of the water when it comes to the percentage of college educated residents. Diversity in Crofton and Odenton includes Asian, Middle Eastern, African, Muslim, and Indian families. They have the highest percentage of foreign born families in all of AA County. The horrible/garbage public schools in Annapolis would never attract those families in a million years. Not even wealthy people in Annapolis want anything to do with those schools.

Odenton, Crofton and cosmopolitan. That’s the first time I’ve seen those words in a sentence together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Annapolis definitely feels blue collar and redneck, don’t know what you guys are taking about. About 50% of the people you’ll see there have tattoos, the food scene is 90% bar and pub food, there are no high end/sophistic restaurants, and it feels like a rustic town from the south.

Huh??? Have we been to the same Annapolis?

Your description sounds more like Odenton and Glen Burnie.

Yes, I’ve lived in Annapolis, and I’m born and raised in Bethesda. I’ve also lived around much of the US and even outside of it. Annapolis is not all multi-million dollar waterfront homes on the Severn River. Much of it is working-class and middle-class, and there’s a bunch of public housing within the city. Highland Beach and Parole have a lot of working-class rednecks. It’s not the rich la-la-la land you all wish it was, it’s like any other super segregated city from the south. Also, in my experience, the white people in Annapolis are way more racist and Trumpy than white people in Odenton, who are way more progressive. There is nothing high end about downtown Annapolis at all. It’s just a bunch of bars, pubs, grungy coffee shops like Rise Up. Anything fancy in Annapolis looks stuck in 2005, like Carpaccio.

Odenton and Crofton are far more cosmopolitan than Annapolis ever will be. The only “diversity” in Annapolis is Black and Hispanic people living in public housing. Both Odenton and Crofton blow Annapolis out of the water when it comes to the percentage of college educated residents. Diversity in Crofton and Odenton includes Asian, Middle Eastern, African, Muslim, and Indian families. They have the highest percentage of foreign born families in all of AA County. The horrible/garbage public schools in Annapolis would never attract those families in a million years. Not even wealthy people in Annapolis want anything to do with those schools.

Odenton, Crofton and cosmopolitan. That’s the first time I’ve seen those words in a sentence together.

Compared to Annapolis, they are. Annapolis is the type of place where people think Indians and Arabs are the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Annapolis definitely feels blue collar and redneck, don’t know what you guys are taking about. About 50% of the people you’ll see there have tattoos, the food scene is 90% bar and pub food, there are no high end/sophistic restaurants, and it feels like a rustic town from the south.

Huh??? Have we been to the same Annapolis?

Your description sounds more like Odenton and Glen Burnie.

Yes, I’ve lived in Annapolis, and I’m born and raised in Bethesda. I’ve also lived around much of the US and even outside of it. Annapolis is not all multi-million dollar waterfront homes on the Severn River. Much of it is working-class and middle-class, and there’s a bunch of public housing within the city. Highland Beach and Parole have a lot of working-class rednecks. It’s not the rich la-la-la land you all wish it was, it’s like any other super segregated city from the south. Also, in my experience, the white people in Annapolis are way more racist and Trumpy than white people in Odenton, who are way more progressive. There is nothing high end about downtown Annapolis at all. It’s just a bunch of bars, pubs, grungy coffee shops like Rise Up. Anything fancy in Annapolis looks stuck in 2005, like Carpaccio.

Odenton and Crofton are far more cosmopolitan than Annapolis ever will be. The only “diversity” in Annapolis is Black and Hispanic people living in public housing. Both Odenton and Crofton blow Annapolis out of the water when it comes to the percentage of college educated residents. Diversity in Crofton and Odenton includes Asian, Middle Eastern, African, Muslim, and Indian families. They have the highest percentage of foreign born families in all of AA County. The horrible/garbage public schools in Annapolis would never attract those families in a million years. Not even wealthy people in Annapolis want anything to do with those schools.

Odenton, Crofton and cosmopolitan. That’s the first time I’ve seen those words in a sentence together.

Big night in Odenton is getting a chicken box at Royal Farms and finishing the night with some cold ones at Buck Murphy’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many Annapolitans are transplants. Many of the locals do have the Maryland accent, listen for the Maryland “o” and you will hear it.

PP. My grandma with 2 parents from the Davidsonville Road area had that, I think.

"Dog" sounded like "Doahg".

I had forgotten that. That sound and the "Warshington" were all we noticed at home.

My grandmother was from DC and she called it Warshington.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Annapolis definitely feels blue collar and redneck, don’t know what you guys are taking about. About 50% of the people you’ll see there have tattoos, the food scene is 90% bar and pub food, there are no high end/sophistic restaurants, and it feels like a rustic town from the south.

Huh??? Have we been to the same Annapolis?

Your description sounds more like Odenton and Glen Burnie.

Yes, I’ve lived in Annapolis, and I’m born and raised in Bethesda. I’ve also lived around much of the US and even outside of it. Annapolis is not all multi-million dollar waterfront homes on the Severn River. Much of it is working-class and middle-class, and there’s a bunch of public housing within the city. Highland Beach and Parole have a lot of working-class rednecks. It’s not the rich la-la-la land you all wish it was, it’s like any other super segregated city from the south. Also, in my experience, the white people in Annapolis are way more racist and Trumpy than white people in Odenton, who are way more progressive. There is nothing high end about downtown Annapolis at all. It’s just a bunch of bars, pubs, grungy coffee shops like Rise Up. Anything fancy in Annapolis looks stuck in 2005, like Carpaccio.

Odenton and Crofton are far more cosmopolitan than Annapolis ever will be. The only “diversity” in Annapolis is Black and Hispanic people living in public housing. Both Odenton and Crofton blow Annapolis out of the water when it comes to the percentage of college educated residents. Diversity in Crofton and Odenton includes Asian, Middle Eastern, African, Muslim, and Indian families. They have the highest percentage of foreign born families in all of AA County. The horrible/garbage public schools in Annapolis would never attract those families in a million years. Not even wealthy people in Annapolis want anything to do with those schools.

Odenton, Crofton and cosmopolitan. That’s the first time I’ve seen those words in a sentence together.

Big night in Odenton is getting a chicken box at Royal Farms and finishing the night with some cold ones at Buck Murphy’s.

A “big night out” in Annapolis usually means dragging your husband who’s now shaped like a retired lacrosse ball into the same boat shoes, salmon shorts, and off-brand Vineyard Vines button-down you panic-bought at Marshalls during the Obama administration. You’ll make a reservation at Dock Street Bar & Grill, because apparently nothing says “coastal charm” like bland crab dip and a 50/50 chance of food poisoning, while a local rock band made up entirely of guys who peaked playing Battle of the Bands before dropping out of Broadneck butchers a Dave Matthews cover in the corner. Then comes the highlight: swaying in a sweaty crowd of sunburnt Edgewater rednecks and Calvert County day-drinkers, surrounded by Anne Arundel’s “elite”: people whose resumes peak with an associate’s degree from AACC or a marketing diploma from Salisbury and who now live in their parents’ basements, proudly insisting they “just love the Annapolis lifestyle.” Annapolis is a place where ambition goes to die quietly between $3 rail drinks, and the only thing more bloated than the crowd’s livers are their delusions that this is somehow “upscale living.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Annapolis definitely feels blue collar and redneck, don’t know what you guys are taking about. About 50% of the people you’ll see there have tattoos, the food scene is 90% bar and pub food, there are no high end/sophistic restaurants, and it feels like a rustic town from the south.

Huh??? Have we been to the same Annapolis?

Your description sounds more like Odenton and Glen Burnie.

Yes, I’ve lived in Annapolis, and I’m born and raised in Bethesda. I’ve also lived around much of the US and even outside of it. Annapolis is not all multi-million dollar waterfront homes on the Severn River. Much of it is working-class and middle-class, and there’s a bunch of public housing within the city. Highland Beach and Parole have a lot of working-class rednecks. It’s not the rich la-la-la land you all wish it was, it’s like any other super segregated city from the south. Also, in my experience, the white people in Annapolis are way more racist and Trumpy than white people in Odenton, who are way more progressive. There is nothing high end about downtown Annapolis at all. It’s just a bunch of bars, pubs, grungy coffee shops like Rise Up. Anything fancy in Annapolis looks stuck in 2005, like Carpaccio.

Odenton and Crofton are far more cosmopolitan than Annapolis ever will be. The only “diversity” in Annapolis is Black and Hispanic people living in public housing. Both Odenton and Crofton blow Annapolis out of the water when it comes to the percentage of college educated residents. Diversity in Crofton and Odenton includes Asian, Middle Eastern, African, Muslim, and Indian families. They have the highest percentage of foreign born families in all of AA County. The horrible/garbage public schools in Annapolis would never attract those families in a million years. Not even wealthy people in Annapolis want anything to do with those schools.

Odenton, Crofton and cosmopolitan. That’s the first time I’ve seen those words in a sentence together.

Big night in Odenton is getting a chicken box at Royal Farms and finishing the night with some cold ones at Buck Murphy’s.

A “big night out” in Annapolis usually means dragging your husband who’s now shaped like a retired lacrosse ball into the same boat shoes, salmon shorts, and off-brand Vineyard Vines button-down you panic-bought at Marshalls during the Obama administration. You’ll make a reservation at Dock Street Bar & Grill, because apparently nothing says “coastal charm” like bland crab dip and a 50/50 chance of food poisoning, while a local rock band made up entirely of guys who peaked playing Battle of the Bands before dropping out of Broadneck butchers a Dave Matthews cover in the corner. Then comes the highlight: swaying in a sweaty crowd of sunburnt Edgewater rednecks and Calvert County day-drinkers, surrounded by Anne Arundel’s “elite”: people whose resumes peak with an associate’s degree from AACC or a marketing diploma from Salisbury and who now live in their parents’ basements, proudly insisting they “just love the Annapolis lifestyle.” Annapolis is a place where ambition goes to die quietly between $3 rail drinks, and the only thing more bloated than the crowd’s livers are their delusions that this is somehow “upscale living.”

This thread (and this post in particular) is so good. An unexpected gem.
I've only been to the historic downtown part. Literally the "get ice cream and look at the water" part so loving all the descriptions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Annapolis definitely feels blue collar and redneck, don’t know what you guys are taking about. About 50% of the people you’ll see there have tattoos, the food scene is 90% bar and pub food, there are no high end/sophistic restaurants, and it feels like a rustic town from the south.

Huh??? Have we been to the same Annapolis?

Your description sounds more like Odenton and Glen Burnie.

Yes, I’ve lived in Annapolis, and I’m born and raised in Bethesda. I’ve also lived around much of the US and even outside of it. Annapolis is not all multi-million dollar waterfront homes on the Severn River. Much of it is working-class and middle-class, and there’s a bunch of public housing within the city. Highland Beach and Parole have a lot of working-class rednecks. It’s not the rich la-la-la land you all wish it was, it’s like any other super segregated city from the south. Also, in my experience, the white people in Annapolis are way more racist and Trumpy than white people in Odenton, who are way more progressive. There is nothing high end about downtown Annapolis at all. It’s just a bunch of bars, pubs, grungy coffee shops like Rise Up. Anything fancy in Annapolis looks stuck in 2005, like Carpaccio.

Odenton and Crofton are far more cosmopolitan than Annapolis ever will be. The only “diversity” in Annapolis is Black and Hispanic people living in public housing. Both Odenton and Crofton blow Annapolis out of the water when it comes to the percentage of college educated residents. Diversity in Crofton and Odenton includes Asian, Middle Eastern, African, Muslim, and Indian families. They have the highest percentage of foreign born families in all of AA County. The horrible/garbage public schools in Annapolis would never attract those families in a million years. Not even wealthy people in Annapolis want anything to do with those schools.

Odenton, Crofton and cosmopolitan. That’s the first time I’ve seen those words in a sentence together.

Big night in Odenton is getting a chicken box at Royal Farms and finishing the night with some cold ones at Buck Murphy’s.

A “big night out” in Annapolis usually means dragging your husband who’s now shaped like a retired lacrosse ball into the same boat shoes, salmon shorts, and off-brand Vineyard Vines button-down you panic-bought at Marshalls during the Obama administration. You’ll make a reservation at Dock Street Bar & Grill, because apparently nothing says “coastal charm” like bland crab dip and a 50/50 chance of food poisoning, while a local rock band made up entirely of guys who peaked playing Battle of the Bands before dropping out of Broadneck butchers a Dave Matthews cover in the corner. Then comes the highlight: swaying in a sweaty crowd of sunburnt Edgewater rednecks and Calvert County day-drinkers, surrounded by Anne Arundel’s “elite”: people whose resumes peak with an associate’s degree from AACC or a marketing diploma from Salisbury and who now live in their parents’ basements, proudly insisting they “just love the Annapolis lifestyle.” Annapolis is a place where ambition goes to die quietly between $3 rail drinks, and the only thing more bloated than the crowd’s livers are their delusions that this is somehow “upscale living.”

This is really good

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Annapolis definitely feels blue collar and redneck, don’t know what you guys are taking about. About 50% of the people you’ll see there have tattoos, the food scene is 90% bar and pub food, there are no high end/sophistic restaurants, and it feels like a rustic town from the south.

Huh??? Have we been to the same Annapolis?

Your description sounds more like Odenton and Glen Burnie.

Yes, I’ve lived in Annapolis, and I’m born and raised in Bethesda. I’ve also lived around much of the US and even outside of it. Annapolis is not all multi-million dollar waterfront homes on the Severn River. Much of it is working-class and middle-class, and there’s a bunch of public housing within the city. Highland Beach and Parole have a lot of working-class rednecks. It’s not the rich la-la-la land you all wish it was, it’s like any other super segregated city from the south. Also, in my experience, the white people in Annapolis are way more racist and Trumpy than white people in Odenton, who are way more progressive. There is nothing high end about downtown Annapolis at all. It’s just a bunch of bars, pubs, grungy coffee shops like Rise Up. Anything fancy in Annapolis looks stuck in 2005, like Carpaccio.

Odenton and Crofton are far more cosmopolitan than Annapolis ever will be. The only “diversity” in Annapolis is Black and Hispanic people living in public housing. Both Odenton and Crofton blow Annapolis out of the water when it comes to the percentage of college educated residents. Diversity in Crofton and Odenton includes Asian, Middle Eastern, African, Muslim, and Indian families. They have the highest percentage of foreign born families in all of AA County. The horrible/garbage public schools in Annapolis would never attract those families in a million years. Not even wealthy people in Annapolis want anything to do with those schools.

Odenton, Crofton and cosmopolitan. That’s the first time I’ve seen those words in a sentence together.

Big night in Odenton is getting a chicken box at Royal Farms and finishing the night with some cold ones at Buck Murphy’s.

Yeah, because Odenton is a suburb, of course it’s boring. The whole point of suburbs is moving there for the good schools, safety, and slower pace of life, and Annapolis offers none of those things. Many people lived in DC, Baltimore, or some other city before moving to Odenton and sell their house to move back to those cities once their kids are grown and out of the house.

If people in Odenton want a good night out, they’ll just go to DC and Baltimore and eat at actual sophisticated restaurants like Le Diplomat, Lapis, Supra, Villa Yara, the Saga, and Fiola. Nobody from Odenton would be caught dead eating at a bar in Annapolis that’s full of loud drunk rednecks laughing because they lit their farts on fire and women named “Dawn” who tease their hair like it’s 1970 and have nothing to talk about except for how they remember when the outskirts of Annapolis consisted of nothing but forests and how there’s so much overdevelopment now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Annapolis definitely feels blue collar and redneck, don’t know what you guys are taking about. About 50% of the people you’ll see there have tattoos, the food scene is 90% bar and pub food, there are no high end/sophistic restaurants, and it feels like a rustic town from the south.

Huh??? Have we been to the same Annapolis?

Your description sounds more like Odenton and Glen Burnie.

Yes, I’ve lived in Annapolis, and I’m born and raised in Bethesda. I’ve also lived around much of the US and even outside of it. Annapolis is not all multi-million dollar waterfront homes on the Severn River. Much of it is working-class and middle-class, and there’s a bunch of public housing within the city. Highland Beach and Parole have a lot of working-class rednecks. It’s not the rich la-la-la land you all wish it was, it’s like any other super segregated city from the south. Also, in my experience, the white people in Annapolis are way more racist and Trumpy than white people in Odenton, who are way more progressive. There is nothing high end about downtown Annapolis at all. It’s just a bunch of bars, pubs, grungy coffee shops like Rise Up. Anything fancy in Annapolis looks stuck in 2005, like Carpaccio.

Odenton and Crofton are far more cosmopolitan than Annapolis ever will be. The only “diversity” in Annapolis is Black and Hispanic people living in public housing. Both Odenton and Crofton blow Annapolis out of the water when it comes to the percentage of college educated residents. Diversity in Crofton and Odenton includes Asian, Middle Eastern, African, Muslim, and Indian families. They have the highest percentage of foreign born families in all of AA County. The horrible/garbage public schools in Annapolis would never attract those families in a million years. Not even wealthy people in Annapolis want anything to do with those schools.

Odenton, Crofton and cosmopolitan. That’s the first time I’ve seen those words in a sentence together.

Big night in Odenton is getting a chicken box at Royal Farms and finishing the night with some cold ones at Buck Murphy’s.

A “big night out” in Annapolis usually means dragging your husband who’s now shaped like a retired lacrosse ball into the same boat shoes, salmon shorts, and off-brand Vineyard Vines button-down you panic-bought at Marshalls during the Obama administration. You’ll make a reservation at Dock Street Bar & Grill, because apparently nothing says “coastal charm” like bland crab dip and a 50/50 chance of food poisoning, while a local rock band made up entirely of guys who peaked playing Battle of the Bands before dropping out of Broadneck butchers a Dave Matthews cover in the corner. Then comes the highlight: swaying in a sweaty crowd of sunburnt Edgewater rednecks and Calvert County day-drinkers, surrounded by Anne Arundel’s “elite”: people whose resumes peak with an associate’s degree from AACC or a marketing diploma from Salisbury and who now live in their parents’ basements, proudly insisting they “just love the Annapolis lifestyle.” Annapolis is a place where ambition goes to die quietly between $3 rail drinks, and the only thing more bloated than the crowd’s livers are their delusions that this is somehow “upscale living.”

I’ll judge you harsher if it’s an authentic Vineysrd Vines shirt. Complete tools.