Husband doesn’t want to donate to my alma mater

[Anonymous]

Give because you can, not because you think it will help. It won't unless you donate enough for a new building or something.

[Anonymous]

Its too soon unless you're billionaires and can give $1mill per year from here til your kid (hopefully) graduates HS.

[Anonymous]

Let your child love their own life. Trying to buy your child a spot at your school is pretty narcissistic. Your husband is right. Waste of money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a Brown alum and DH went to Amherst. We are UMC and have a very bright 7 yo. DH’s alma mater has ended legacy admissions but mine hasn’t, and while I have given off and on in the past I was thinking it would make sense to make sure we’re making an annual donation to my school to help give DC a leg up in case he wants to apply someday. DH is dead set against this and thinks I am being ridiculous. I freely admit that I probably am, I just wouldn’t want to have not done something that could have helped DC. Thoughts?

Thoughts?

You’ve managed to combine privilege, helicopter parenting, anxiety, ignorance, and marital dysfunction in a single post.

That’s a remarkable achievement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a Brown alum and DH went to Amherst. We are UMC and have a very bright 7 yo. DH’s alma mater has ended legacy admissions but mine hasn’t, and while I have given off and on in the past I was thinking it would make sense to make sure we’re making an annual donation to my school to help give DC a leg up in case he wants to apply someday. DH is dead set against this and thinks I am being ridiculous. I freely admit that I probably am, I just wouldn’t want to have not done something that could have helped DC. Thoughts?

Thoughts?

You’ve managed to combine privilege, helicopter parenting, anxiety, ignorance, and marital dysfunction in a single post.

That’s a remarkable achievement.

DCUM at its finest!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a Brown alum and DH went to Amherst. We are UMC and have a very bright 7 yo. DH’s alma mater has ended legacy admissions but mine hasn’t, and while I have given off and on in the past I was thinking it would make sense to make sure we’re making an annual donation to my school to help give DC a leg up in case he wants to apply someday. DH is dead set against this and thinks I am being ridiculous. I freely admit that I probably am, I just wouldn’t want to have not done something that could have helped DC. Thoughts?

Thoughts?

You’ve managed to combine privilege, helicopter parenting, anxiety, ignorance, and marital dysfunction in a single post.

That’s a remarkable achievement.

Chef's kiss!

[Anonymous]

How much are you talking about giving? A few hundred bucks a year won't mean anything. Students still have to pass the academic criteria before legacy makes any difference. Your "smart" 7 year old could turn out very average by high school.

[Anonymous]

I really hope OP’s kid is strolling around the Brown campus, wearing a Brown shirt and cheering on the sports teams 11 years from now. The truth is, a lot can happen with your kid’s school experience, your own preferences, and your kid’s preferences between now and then. 11 years ago, I was horrified at the prospect of my kid ending up at a State U in the South or Midwest. I envisioned them at my SLAC alma mater in the Northeast. Then came the college admissions process 10 years later and the academic/financial reality checks. And once I actually visited the big Southern state U and talked to people who had attended and saw the friendlier price tag, I began to change my tune. I still donate to my Alma mater because that was my journey, but my kid’s journey is their own.

[Anonymous]

Both kid’s friends that were Brown legacy (top students) were rejected recently. I agree that the donations most people make $50-200 don’t matter. Our HS Co loves to say unless you have your name on the side of a building, donations don’t move the dial.

[Anonymous]

Your kid won’t have much competition. Bonus is having kids anymore. Your kid will have about 1/4 the number to compete with that kids in event years have had. The 3-5% acceptance rates will fall away in a decade or so.

[Anonymous]

^ nobody, not Bonus

[Anonymous]

Agree birth rate for kids that are 7 is very very low compared to recent HS grads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a Brown alum and DH went to Amherst. We are UMC and have a very bright 7 yo. DH’s alma mater has ended legacy admissions but mine hasn’t, and while I have given off and on in the past I was thinking it would make sense to make sure we’re making an annual donation to my school to help give DC a leg up in case he wants to apply someday. DH is dead set against this and thinks I am being ridiculous. I freely admit that I probably am, I just wouldn’t want to have not done something that could have helped DC. Thoughts?

Thoughts?

You’ve managed to combine privilege, helicopter parenting, anxiety, ignorance, and marital dysfunction in a single post.

That’s a remarkable achievement.

+1

More evidence that a name brand school can’t give you common sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a Brown alum and DH went to Amherst. We are UMC and have a very bright 7 yo. DH’s alma mater has ended legacy admissions but mine hasn’t, and while I have given off and on in the past I was thinking it would make sense to make sure we’re making an annual donation to my school to help give DC a leg up in case he wants to apply someday. DH is dead set against this and thinks I am being ridiculous. I freely admit that I probably am, I just wouldn’t want to have not done something that could have helped DC. Thoughts?

Your donations won't move the needle for admissions. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you want to donate, then donate an amount you both can agree on. However, don’t expect your giving to move the needle too much, unless you will be a significant donor.

Also, a lot can change in the next 4 years.

But it does.
We have a century of data that shows that if you come from a family that has donated for generations your family is much more likely to produce a "big" donor despite no big difference in economic success between the legacy population and the non-legacy population.

So if a non-legacy becomes a billionaire, they might donate a lot of money at the rate of x%, the multigenerational legacy billionaire donates at the rate of 5x%
It just becomes an important philanthropy for your family.