Husband doesn’t want to donate to my alma mater

[Anonymous]

I am a Brown alum and DH went to Amherst. We are UMC and have a very bright 7 yo. DH’s alma mater has ended legacy admissions but mine hasn’t, and while I have given off and on in the past I was thinking it would make sense to make sure we’re making an annual donation to my school to help give DC a leg up in case he wants to apply someday. DH is dead set against this and thinks I am being ridiculous. I freely admit that I probably am, I just wouldn’t want to have not done something that could have helped DC. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Way too early. Wait till 7th grade, then donate annually in the amount of 100k.

[Anonymous]

Unless you are donating a ridiculous amount (which could be what his aversion is), it won't help your DS.

[Anonymous]

The donation most likely won’t give your DC a leg up unless it’s pays for a new auditorium, science building or stadium. Nothing wrong with donating- I give to my SLAC alma mater every year- and it’s great to stay involved by attending local alumni events and reunions and volunteering. But do it for yourself and for your love of the school- not to help your child with admissions.

[Anonymous]

Way too early to start thinking about your kid’s chances. This is the time to worry about saving money for college. The world could by a different place 10 years from now. Parents whose kids applied to college in 2021-2024 could not have imagined a Trump administration or pandemic or wars in Russia and Israel when their kids were 7.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The donation most likely won’t give your DC a leg up unless it’s pays for a new auditorium, science building or stadium. Nothing wrong with donating- I give to my SLAC alma mater every year- and it’s great to stay involved by attending local alumni events and reunions and volunteering. But do it for yourself and for your love of the school- not to help your child with admissions.

This. Small annual donations do not move the needle.

[Anonymous]

Unless the development office is involved in your donation process, any donation won’t make a difference when it comes to admissions.

[Anonymous]

Donate because you want to support the school. Unless you're contemplating a 7 figure donation, it's not going to matter for admissions.

If your husband regulates how you spend money, within the family budget, you have bigger problems.

Signed,
Brown alum who donated a few hundred each year because I like the school -- my 18 year old didn't even apply. Except I'm not donating now because of the BS agreement they reached with Trump.

[Anonymous]

If you want to donate a reasonable amount, he should let you, but I wouldn’t do it just for admissions - do it because you want to support their mission. I donate a couple hundred to my school every year and my kids did not apply.

[Anonymous]

The "Direct Charges" total at Brown right now is $93,164, so every full-pay family is sending roughly four times that amount. (Obviously, side conversation to be had about how many of the students are actually full-pay, but the point is that that's the price tag Brown has laid out.) Are you planning to donate more than that? Probably not.

I would focus, instead, on setting aside that money in a 529 (or other investment accounts, once you hit your contribution limit on the 529) so that in a decade when your kid is applying to schools you have enough that they can ED to the best-fitting school for them. That will give your family far more options than a hypothetical leg up (which might not even exist at that point) at a single school.

[Anonymous]

We have been very involved as alums at two ivies (not Brown) and have given quite large amounts to both, enough to name scholarships but not buildings. I have spoken to the alumni offices at both, and been told that they have a firewall between offices of alumni and admissions. I assume that is the same at all Ivies. So unless you're giving enough to be working with development office, not giving through the alumni fund, it will make zero difference. FWIW, my kids did not get into those schools, even though they were absolutely academically qualified.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you are donating a ridiculous amount (which could be what his aversion is), it won't help your DS.

+1

[Anonymous]

I donated every year to my WASP and volunteered but my academically-qualified kid did not get in. I continue to donate and do what I can for my college because I had a good experience there. The question you need to ask yourself is would you continue to donate if your kid didn’t apply or did not get in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a Brown alum and DH went to Amherst. We are UMC and have a very bright 7 yo. DH’s alma mater has ended legacy admissions but mine hasn’t, and while I have given off and on in the past I was thinking it would make sense to make sure we’re making an annual donation to my school to help give DC a leg up in case he wants to apply someday. DH is dead set against this and thinks I am being ridiculous. I freely admit that I probably am, I just wouldn’t want to have not done something that could have helped DC. Thoughts?

Do you really believe Brown needs your money? Or do you just want to see your name on a list?

[Anonymous]

Way too early. If you insist on giving - just because it will make you feel better - then wait until your kid is in 8th grade. So much can happen between now and when your kid goes to college.