is private school like giving your kid organic fruit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:✈️

Public school is coach.
Private school is business class.
Homeschool is first class.

Sorry…homeschool is flying basic economy coach unless you are wealthy enough to hire the best private tutors around.

People homeschool because they are poor and usually live in a shit hole area with awful public schools.

Except the billionaire who decided to sail around the world on his super yacht and pulled his kids from a top private while hiring two incredible tutors for the journey…and then promptly re-enrolled them in the top private upon return.

Your homeschool experience is clearly limited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:✈️

Public school is coach.
Private school is business class.
Homeschool is first class.

Sorry…homeschool is flying basic economy coach unless you are wealthy enough to hire the best private tutors around.

People homeschool because they are poor and usually live in a shit hole area with awful public schools.

Except the billionaire who decided to sail around the world on his super yacht and pulled his kids from a top private while hiring two incredible tutors for the journey…and then promptly re-enrolled them in the top private upon return.

Your homeschool experience is clearly limited.

Yes…limited to reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kind of silly analogy. We are moving to private. I am aware of the research that says private doesn't necessarily make a notable difference in academic outcomes. Ditto small class sizes. And yet, it feels like there's some intangible benefit and that the process to get from point A to point B is just...nicer and more lovely in private. Actually, it is tangible. At the end of the day, my kids may end up attending state schools, or the same schools they would have attended if we stayed in public. They're bright, and would do well in whatever setting. (Part of the move to private is for my own sanity--I did a lot of supplementing when they were in public, and decided it's worth it to just do less supplementing and put them in private) Still, I feel some ambivalence as someone who benefited from public schools growing up. That said, I know the public of 2025 is not the public of 1980s/90s.

It makes me think of how most of us grew up eating regular, non-organic fruit. I don't think I knew organic fruit existed till I was like...25? And we're fine. But we prefer to feed our kid organic when it's available and accessible/not exorbitantly priced. Is it that much better for our kids to eat organic? Hard to tell. But it feels better as a parent, to give them that. (Similar analogies would be the "difference" between breastfeeding and formula--which I think is really minimal though when I had newborns it felt like life/death, and between flying coach vs first class...everyone gets to the same place, but boy is first class nice, esp on a long flight.)

Oh absolutely, yes, this all tracks—and thank you for finally giving a name to what I’ve long suspected my educational choices truly are: organic fruit for the soul.

Because when I sat down with my partner to decide whether we would continue to entrust our children to the hands of our local public school—whose principal once wore Crocs and meant it—versus a private institution with a Latin motto and someone on staff whose full-time job is "director of belonging," we too thought: You know what this is like? The produce section.

Sure, the apples from the public school are still crisp. They're bright, shiny, and filled with nutrients. But were they grown on a biodynamic micro-orchard tended by a Montessori-trained goat named Silvio? Did they come pre-sliced in compostable hemp boxes, labeled with “curated snack experience”? No. No, they did not.

And just as we all somehow survived the Reagan-era with only Red Delicious and tap water, we now must pretend we aren’t gently microdosing privilege under the guise of “a nicer journey.” You know, a journey paved in felted wool rugs and curated author visits from someone who once made eye contact with Jacqueline Woodson.

Of course, we could have stuck with public school and continued the noble tradition of printing out 37 pages of supplemental math problems while wondering whether our child’s “Genius Hour” project will involve any actual genius. But instead, we opted to “do less supplementing” by outsourcing our guilt to a $42,000 tuition invoice and a gently passive-aggressive email from the Dean of Academic Flourishing.

Look, I’m not saying we’re better parents. I’m just saying we now live in a world where the kids get Latin, fencing, and lunchtime paella while we pretend we’re just doing what’s “accessible and not exorbitantly priced,” like organic fruit from Whole Foods, not Erewhon—we’re not monsters.

And yes, we know they might still go to a state school in the end, sharing a dorm with someone who used flashcards from a cereal box and did just fine. But we’ll always know—deep in our Ambivalently Ethical Hearts—that our child got to learn algebra in a room with a window and natural light.

So yes, everyone gets to the same destination.
But some of us arrive with a cashmere throw, an in-flight amuse-bouche, and a certificate of completion in “Mindful Inquiry.”

It’s not better. It just feels... lovelier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Latin, fencing, and lunchtime paella

Sorry, I’m not interested in participating in the main thread, but could you share the name of the school? I'm not joking—after one year at our private school (same price range you mentioned), we’re getting things like Taco-Bamba, and pizza for lunch, along with a sugar-packed vending machine.
Our previous school, in another state, had its own kitchen and the food was amazing. Despite the school's academic rigor, we didn’t even think to ask how lunch vendors were chosen—we just assumed there would be at least some healthy, non-prepackaged, possibly organic options.

Am I asking too much, or are there actually any private schools that still provide real, healthy lunches.
if there is really comparison apples with apples, lets strait from the lunch options!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kind of silly analogy. We are moving to private. I am aware of the research that says private doesn't necessarily make a notable difference in academic outcomes. Ditto small class sizes. And yet, it feels like there's some intangible benefit and that the process to get from point A to point B is just...nicer and more lovely in private. Actually, it is tangible. At the end of the day, my kids may end up attending state schools, or the same schools they would have attended if we stayed in public. They're bright, and would do well in whatever setting. (Part of the move to private is for my own sanity--I did a lot of supplementing when they were in public, and decided it's worth it to just do less supplementing and put them in private) Still, I feel some ambivalence as someone who benefited from public schools growing up. That said, I know the public of 2025 is not the public of 1980s/90s.

It makes me think of how most of us grew up eating regular, non-organic fruit. I don't think I knew organic fruit existed till I was like...25? And we're fine. But we prefer to feed our kid organic when it's available and accessible/not exorbitantly priced. Is it that much better for our kids to eat organic? Hard to tell. But it feels better as a parent, to give them that. (Similar analogies would be the "difference" between breastfeeding and formula--which I think is really minimal though when I had newborns it felt like life/death, and between flying coach vs first class...everyone gets to the same place, but boy is first class nice, esp on a long flight.)

Oh absolutely, yes, this all tracks—and thank you for finally giving a name to what I’ve long suspected my educational choices truly are: organic fruit for the soul.

Because when I sat down with my partner to decide whether we would continue to entrust our children to the hands of our local public school—whose principal once wore Crocs and meant it—versus a private institution with a Latin motto and someone on staff whose full-time job is "director of belonging," we too thought: You know what this is like? The produce section.

Sure, the apples from the public school are still crisp. They're bright, shiny, and filled with nutrients. But were they grown on a biodynamic micro-orchard tended by a Montessori-trained goat named Silvio? Did they come pre-sliced in compostable hemp boxes, labeled with “curated snack experience”? No. No, they did not.

And just as we all somehow survived the Reagan-era with only Red Delicious and tap water, we now must pretend we aren’t gently microdosing privilege under the guise of “a nicer journey.” You know, a journey paved in felted wool rugs and curated author visits from someone who once made eye contact with Jacqueline Woodson.

Of course, we could have stuck with public school and continued the noble tradition of printing out 37 pages of supplemental math problems while wondering whether our child’s “Genius Hour” project will involve any actual genius. But instead, we opted to “do less supplementing” by outsourcing our guilt to a $42,000 tuition invoice and a gently passive-aggressive email from the Dean of Academic Flourishing.

Look, I’m not saying we’re better parents. I’m just saying we now live in a world where the kids get Latin, fencing, and lunchtime paella while we pretend we’re just doing what’s “accessible and not exorbitantly priced,” like organic fruit from Whole Foods, not Erewhon—we’re not monsters.

And yes, we know they might still go to a state school in the end, sharing a dorm with someone who used flashcards from a cereal box and did just fine. But we’ll always know—deep in our Ambivalently Ethical Hearts—that our child got to learn algebra in a room with a window and natural light.

So yes, everyone gets to the same destination.
But some of us arrive with a cashmere throw, an in-flight amuse-bouche, and a certificate of completion in “Mindful Inquiry.”

It’s not better. It just feels... lovelier.

The problem with this analogy is that the first class and coach passengers don’t end up saying at the same shitty 1 star hotel when they reach their destination.

It’s odd to me that you keep concluding with essentially the equivalent…because I doubt you will be happy if your kid ends up at a middling state school after all this (which is probably why you have them fencing because you want all the back door advantages you can get).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kind of silly analogy. We are moving to private. I am aware of the research that says private doesn't necessarily make a notable difference in academic outcomes. Ditto small class sizes. And yet, it feels like there's some intangible benefit and that the process to get from point A to point B is just...nicer and more lovely in private. Actually, it is tangible. At the end of the day, my kids may end up attending state schools, or the same schools they would have attended if we stayed in public. They're bright, and would do well in whatever setting. (Part of the move to private is for my own sanity--I did a lot of supplementing when they were in public, and decided it's worth it to just do less supplementing and put them in private) Still, I feel some ambivalence as someone who benefited from public schools growing up. That said, I know the public of 2025 is not the public of 1980s/90s.

It makes me think of how most of us grew up eating regular, non-organic fruit. I don't think I knew organic fruit existed till I was like...25? And we're fine. But we prefer to feed our kid organic when it's available and accessible/not exorbitantly priced. Is it that much better for our kids to eat organic? Hard to tell. But it feels better as a parent, to give them that. (Similar analogies would be the "difference" between breastfeeding and formula--which I think is really minimal though when I had newborns it felt like life/death, and between flying coach vs first class...everyone gets to the same place, but boy is first class nice, esp on a long flight.)

Oh absolutely, yes, this all tracks—and thank you for finally giving a name to what I’ve long suspected my educational choices truly are: organic fruit for the soul.

Because when I sat down with my partner to decide whether we would continue to entrust our children to the hands of our local public school—whose principal once wore Crocs and meant it—versus a private institution with a Latin motto and someone on staff whose full-time job is "director of belonging," we too thought: You know what this is like? The produce section.

Sure, the apples from the public school are still crisp. They're bright, shiny, and filled with nutrients. But were they grown on a biodynamic micro-orchard tended by a Montessori-trained goat named Silvio? Did they come pre-sliced in compostable hemp boxes, labeled with “curated snack experience”? No. No, they did not.

And just as we all somehow survived the Reagan-era with only Red Delicious and tap water, we now must pretend we aren’t gently microdosing privilege under the guise of “a nicer journey.” You know, a journey paved in felted wool rugs and curated author visits from someone who once made eye contact with Jacqueline Woodson.

Of course, we could have stuck with public school and continued the noble tradition of printing out 37 pages of supplemental math problems while wondering whether our child’s “Genius Hour” project will involve any actual genius. But instead, we opted to “do less supplementing” by outsourcing our guilt to a $42,000 tuition invoice and a gently passive-aggressive email from the Dean of Academic Flourishing.

Look, I’m not saying we’re better parents. I’m just saying we now live in a world where the kids get Latin, fencing, and lunchtime paella while we pretend we’re just doing what’s “accessible and not exorbitantly priced,” like organic fruit from Whole Foods, not Erewhon—we’re not monsters.

And yes, we know they might still go to a state school in the end, sharing a dorm with someone who used flashcards from a cereal box and did just fine. But we’ll always know—deep in our Ambivalently Ethical Hearts—that our child got to learn algebra in a room with a window and natural light.

So yes, everyone gets to the same destination.
But some of us arrive with a cashmere throw, an in-flight amuse-bouche, and a certificate of completion in “Mindful Inquiry.”

It’s not better. It just feels... lovelier.

OP here. Lol you should submit this to McSweeney's. I did eat a lot of Red Delicious in the 80s, come to think of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kind of silly analogy. We are moving to private. I am aware of the research that says private doesn't necessarily make a notable difference in academic outcomes. Ditto small class sizes. And yet, it feels like there's some intangible benefit and that the process to get from point A to point B is just...nicer and more lovely in private. Actually, it is tangible. At the end of the day, my kids may end up attending state schools, or the same schools they would have attended if we stayed in public. They're bright, and would do well in whatever setting. (Part of the move to private is for my own sanity--I did a lot of supplementing when they were in public, and decided it's worth it to just do less supplementing and put them in private) Still, I feel some ambivalence as someone who benefited from public schools growing up. That said, I know the public of 2025 is not the public of 1980s/90s.

It makes me think of how most of us grew up eating regular, non-organic fruit. I don't think I knew organic fruit existed till I was like...25? And we're fine. But we prefer to feed our kid organic when it's available and accessible/not exorbitantly priced. Is it that much better for our kids to eat organic? Hard to tell. But it feels better as a parent, to give them that. (Similar analogies would be the "difference" between breastfeeding and formula--which I think is really minimal though when I had newborns it felt like life/death, and between flying coach vs first class...everyone gets to the same place, but boy is first class nice, esp on a long flight.)

Oh absolutely, yes, this all tracks—and thank you for finally giving a name to what I’ve long suspected my educational choices truly are: organic fruit for the soul.

Because when I sat down with my partner to decide whether we would continue to entrust our children to the hands of our local public school—whose principal once wore Crocs and meant it—versus a private institution with a Latin motto and someone on staff whose full-time job is "director of belonging," we too thought: You know what this is like? The produce section.

Sure, the apples from the public school are still crisp. They're bright, shiny, and filled with nutrients. But were they grown on a biodynamic micro-orchard tended by a Montessori-trained goat named Silvio? Did they come pre-sliced in compostable hemp boxes, labeled with “curated snack experience”? No. No, they did not.

And just as we all somehow survived the Reagan-era with only Red Delicious and tap water, we now must pretend we aren’t gently microdosing privilege under the guise of “a nicer journey.” You know, a journey paved in felted wool rugs and curated author visits from someone who once made eye contact with Jacqueline Woodson.

Of course, we could have stuck with public school and continued the noble tradition of printing out 37 pages of supplemental math problems while wondering whether our child’s “Genius Hour” project will involve any actual genius. But instead, we opted to “do less supplementing” by outsourcing our guilt to a $42,000 tuition invoice and a gently passive-aggressive email from the Dean of Academic Flourishing.

Look, I’m not saying we’re better parents. I’m just saying we now live in a world where the kids get Latin, fencing, and lunchtime paella while we pretend we’re just doing what’s “accessible and not exorbitantly priced,” like organic fruit from Whole Foods, not Erewhon—we’re not monsters.

And yes, we know they might still go to a state school in the end, sharing a dorm with someone who used flashcards from a cereal box and did just fine. But we’ll always know—deep in our Ambivalently Ethical Hearts—that our child got to learn algebra in a room with a window and natural light.

So yes, everyone gets to the same destination.
But some of us arrive with a cashmere throw, an in-flight amuse-bouche, and a certificate of completion in “Mindful Inquiry.”

It’s not better. It just feels... lovelier.

OP here. Lol you should submit this to McSweeney's. I did eat a lot of Red Delicious in the 80s, come to think of it.

That's what I was going for. Thanks for playing along, OP. Seriously, what was up with all the Red Delicious?

[Anonymous]

Where is this alleged research that private school doesn't have better academic outcomes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:✈️

Public school is coach.
Private school is business class.
Homeschool is first class.

Sorry…homeschool is flying basic economy coach unless you are wealthy enough to hire the best private tutors around.

People homeschool because they are poor and usually live in a shit hole area with awful public schools.

Except the billionaire who decided to sail around the world on his super yacht and pulled his kids from a top private while hiring two incredible tutors for the journey…and then promptly re-enrolled them in the top private upon return.

Are you stupid? Who do you think these "incredible tutors" are? They are extra housewives because the billionaire housewives are busy working or playing.

Teaching a child well isn't hard. Teaching 30 children well is hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where is this alleged research that private school doesn't have better academic outcomes?

They do well, but the effects wipe out when you control for social class. Study by Bob Pianta, dean of college of ed at UVA. Not sure if you can access this: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.3102/0013189X18785632?casa_token=hggnKRxTuicAAAAA:Vdvz6MlDW_ExHQ1-iIxk_8JeVNhFM-34SyjA5aJgcDVpSM1wSWfHRDSDutuM_lPn_03m7qvU79dR7w

By tracking longitudinally a sample of American children (n = 1,097), this study examined the extent to which enrollment
in private schools between kindergarten and ninth grade was related to students’ academic, social, psychological, and
attainment outcomes at age 15. Results from this investigation revealed that in unadjusted models, children with a history
of enrollment in private schools performed better on nearly all outcomes assessed in adolescence. However, by simply
controlling for the sociodemographic characteristics that selected children and families into these schools, all of the
advantages of private school education were eliminated. There was also no evidence to suggest that low-income children
or children enrolled in urban schools benefited more from private school enrollment.

That's the big picture, individual results may vary. There's some work on benefits for letters of rec for college admissions, but that effect will prob go down since unis are more aware of it. Some of Raj Chetty team's work in looking at advantages that the top 1% receive.

Research on small class sizes is mixed, not a ton of great studies. Some find benefits, others don't. Findings suggest benefits are the most for early years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:✈️

Public school is coach.
Private school is business class.
Homeschool is first class.

Sorry…homeschool is flying basic economy coach unless you are wealthy enough to hire the best private tutors around.

People homeschool because they are poor and usually live in a shit hole area with awful public schools.

Except the billionaire who decided to sail around the world on his super yacht and pulled his kids from a top private while hiring two incredible tutors for the journey…and then promptly re-enrolled them in the top private upon return.

Are you stupid? Who do you think these "incredible tutors" are? They are extra housewives because the billionaire housewives are busy working or playing.

Teaching a child well isn't hard. Teaching 30 children well is hard.

No...in this instance the guy hired two university professors to go on the trip. I helped sell a company to the guy.

My only point is that nobody with two nickels homeschools except if their kid is some olympic athlete (not uncommon for sports like equestrian or what not) or equivalent, or in this instance they decided to take their 7th grade twins around the world on a yacht.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:✈️

Public school is coach.
Private school is business class.
Homeschool is first class.

Sorry…homeschool is flying basic economy coach unless you are wealthy enough to hire the best private tutors around.

People homeschool because they are poor and usually live in a shit hole area with awful public schools.

Except the billionaire who decided to sail around the world on his super yacht and pulled his kids from a top private while hiring two incredible tutors for the journey…and then promptly re-enrolled them in the top private upon return.

Are you stupid? Who do you think these "incredible tutors" are? They are extra housewives because the billionaire housewives are busy working or playing.

Teaching a child well isn't hard. Teaching 30 children well is hard.

No...in this instance the guy hired two university professors to go on the trip. I helped sell a company to the guy.

My only point is that nobody with two nickels homeschools except if their kid is some olympic athlete (not uncommon for sports like equestrian or what not) or equivalent, or in this instance they decided to take their 7th grade twins around the world on a yacht.

A big chunk of homeschooling is people with religious/moral objections to what is taught in public and most private schools. They want a controlled environment, FWIW.

As for tutors, most are teachers at one level or another or very bright recent grads who aced the courses and subjects they tutor, so they know how to do well in them.

I tutored a few years before getting a classroom job, including remote home schooling during COVID. It's a good way for newbies to cut their teeth and find their voice in terms of teaching technique. I was coming from earlier careers with subject knowledge but needed to learn the craft.

[Anonymous]

Since private schools don't release their curricula or test scores publicly like public schools are required to do for accountability, I feel like you're all comparing apples to oranges. Curricula varies widely and you can't even compare local private schools to one another.

I believe that you pay for small class sizes and a smaller parent community. What your child does with that will determine whatever success they achieve in life, whether they go to college or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The largest class i taught last year was fifteen students. At public schools, the number is closer to 30. That's one of major benefits of private school.

Not at all private schools. At Mary’s class size is 27.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kind of silly analogy. We are moving to private. I am aware of the research that says private doesn't necessarily make a notable difference in academic outcomes. Ditto small class sizes. And yet, it feels like there's some intangible benefit and that the process to get from point A to point B is just...nicer and more lovely in private. Actually, it is tangible. At the end of the day, my kids may end up attending state schools, or the same schools they would have attended if we stayed in public. They're bright, and would do well in whatever setting. (Part of the move to private is for my own sanity--I did a lot of supplementing when they were in public, and decided it's worth it to just do less supplementing and put them in private) Still, I feel some ambivalence as someone who benefited from public schools growing up. That said, I know the public of 2025 is not the public of 1980s/90s.

It makes me think of how most of us grew up eating regular, non-organic fruit. I don't think I knew organic fruit existed till I was like...25? And we're fine. But we prefer to feed our kid organic when it's available and accessible/not exorbitantly priced. Is it that much better for our kids to eat organic? Hard to tell. But it feels better as a parent, to give them that. (Similar analogies would be the "difference" between breastfeeding and formula--which I think is really minimal though when I had newborns it felt like life/death, and between flying coach vs first class...everyone gets to the same place, but boy is first class nice, esp on a long flight.)

Oh absolutely, yes, this all tracks—and thank you for finally giving a name to what I’ve long suspected my educational choices truly are: organic fruit for the soul.

Because when I sat down with my partner to decide whether we would continue to entrust our children to the hands of our local public school—whose principal once wore Crocs and meant it—versus a private institution with a Latin motto and someone on staff whose full-time job is "director of belonging," we too thought: You know what this is like? The produce section.

Sure, the apples from the public school are still crisp. They're bright, shiny, and filled with nutrients. But were they grown on a biodynamic micro-orchard tended by a Montessori-trained goat named Silvio? Did they come pre-sliced in compostable hemp boxes, labeled with “curated snack experience”? No. No, they did not.

And just as we all somehow survived the Reagan-era with only Red Delicious and tap water, we now must pretend we aren’t gently microdosing privilege under the guise of “a nicer journey.” You know, a journey paved in felted wool rugs and curated author visits from someone who once made eye contact with Jacqueline Woodson.

Of course, we could have stuck with public school and continued the noble tradition of printing out 37 pages of supplemental math problems while wondering whether our child’s “Genius Hour” project will involve any actual genius. But instead, we opted to “do less supplementing” by outsourcing our guilt to a $42,000 tuition invoice and a gently passive-aggressive email from the Dean of Academic Flourishing.

Look, I’m not saying we’re better parents. I’m just saying we now live in a world where the kids get Latin, fencing, and lunchtime paella while we pretend we’re just doing what’s “accessible and not exorbitantly priced,” like organic fruit from Whole Foods, not Erewhon—we’re not monsters.

And yes, we know they might still go to a state school in the end, sharing a dorm with someone who used flashcards from a cereal box and did just fine. But we’ll always know—deep in our Ambivalently Ethical Hearts—that our child got to learn algebra in a room with a window and natural light.

So yes, everyone gets to the same destination.
But some of us arrive with a cashmere throw, an in-flight amuse-bouche, and a certificate of completion in “Mindful Inquiry.”

It’s not better. It just feels... lovelier.

OP here. Lol you should submit this to McSweeney's. I did eat a lot of Red Delicious in the 80s, come to think of it.

That's what I was going for. Thanks for playing along, OP. Seriously, what was up with all the Red Delicious?

PP, that writing was amazing and I can't believe the first joyless responses were serious.

As for Red Delicious, they were engineered to be durable, not to be eaten. A tragic story. We also had grapes and watermelons with seeds. Truly a tough time to be a child.

https://newengland.com/food/red-delicious-apple/