is private school like giving your kid organic fruit?

[Anonymous]

Keeping the food theme, maybe like this:

The public school menu varies, but generally it is warmed over slop. The cafeteria in which the slop is eaten is chaotic; sometimes there are fights, sometimes the slop gets knocked down and stepped in.

There is a class of mid-tier privates where you eat your meal at grandma's house. The food is nothing fancy, but home-cooked, traditional meals. Sometimes there is pie. The kitchen and the dining room are long-lived in, and rather dingy. Pictures of long-gone relatives line the walls.

Then you have the expensive privates: the dining room is ornate, a silver candelabra in the center of the table. The guests are witty, discussing the latest in fashions. The waiter comes out with the food on silver platter. He lifts the cover and behold! It is the same slop you would get at the public school down the road.

[Anonymous]

I think it's a good analogy, OP.

Remember, "organic" is 99% marketing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kind of silly analogy. We are moving to private. I am aware of the research that says private doesn't necessarily make a notable difference in academic outcomes. Ditto small class sizes. And yet, it feels like there's some intangible benefit and that the process to get from point A to point B is just...nicer and more lovely in private. Actually, it is tangible. At the end of the day, my kids may end up attending state schools, or the same schools they would have attended if we stayed in public. They're bright, and would do well in whatever setting. (Part of the move to private is for my own sanity--I did a lot of supplementing when they were in public, and decided it's worth it to just do less supplementing and put them in private) Still, I feel some ambivalence as someone who benefited from public schools growing up. That said, I know the public of 2025 is not the public of 1980s/90s.

It makes me think of how most of us grew up eating regular, non-organic fruit. I don't think I knew organic fruit existed till I was like...25? And we're fine. But we prefer to feed our kid organic when it's available and accessible/not exorbitantly priced. Is it that much better for our kids to eat organic? Hard to tell. But it feels better as a parent, to give them that. (Similar analogies would be the "difference" between breastfeeding and formula--which I think is really minimal though when I had newborns it felt like life/death, and between flying coach vs first class...everyone gets to the same place, but boy is first class nice, esp on a long flight.)

Oh absolutely, yes, this all tracks—and thank you for finally giving a name to what I’ve long suspected my educational choices truly are: organic fruit for the soul.

Because when I sat down with my partner to decide whether we would continue to entrust our children to the hands of our local public school—whose principal once wore Crocs and meant it—versus a private institution with a Latin motto and someone on staff whose full-time job is "director of belonging," we too thought: You know what this is like? The produce section.

Sure, the apples from the public school are still crisp. They're bright, shiny, and filled with nutrients. But were they grown on a biodynamic micro-orchard tended by a Montessori-trained goat named Silvio? Did they come pre-sliced in compostable hemp boxes, labeled with “curated snack experience”? No. No, they did not.

And just as we all somehow survived the Reagan-era with only Red Delicious and tap water, we now must pretend we aren’t gently microdosing privilege under the guise of “a nicer journey.” You know, a journey paved in felted wool rugs and curated author visits from someone who once made eye contact with Jacqueline Woodson.

Of course, we could have stuck with public school and continued the noble tradition of printing out 37 pages of supplemental math problems while wondering whether our child’s “Genius Hour” project will involve any actual genius. But instead, we opted to “do less supplementing” by outsourcing our guilt to a $42,000 tuition invoice and a gently passive-aggressive email from the Dean of Academic Flourishing.

Look, I’m not saying we’re better parents. I’m just saying we now live in a world where the kids get Latin, fencing, and lunchtime paella while we pretend we’re just doing what’s “accessible and not exorbitantly priced,” like organic fruit from Whole Foods, not Erewhon—we’re not monsters.

And yes, we know they might still go to a state school in the end, sharing a dorm with someone who used flashcards from a cereal box and did just fine. But we’ll always know—deep in our Ambivalently Ethical Hearts—that our child got to learn algebra in a room with a window and natural light.

So yes, everyone gets to the same destination.
But some of us arrive with a cashmere throw, an in-flight amuse-bouche, and a certificate of completion in “Mindful Inquiry.”

It’s not better. It just feels... lovelier.

This is amazing. We need more comments like this here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:✈️

Public school is coach.
Private school is business class.
Homeschool is first class.

+1

[Anonymous]

The different is an all you can eat buffet vs a sit down dinner with an attentive waiter and flexible chef.

You can get a lot out of public school, you can advance in math and science especially since so much of that is simply doing problems over and over again that are easy to check if correct and there is endless online resources. There are football teams and tons of sports for these huge schools, and lots of clubs. A self starting kid, especially one who is able to have parents reach out to professionals, tutors, and professors for enrichment will thrive. But it is possible they will overeat (ie get really advanced in math with little depth) and skip big parts of the meal (writing is very weak in public because teachers are in charge of 150 students so reading that many writing assignments is untenable; and the reading assignments are often passages not full novels or texts until AP/IB)

Private schools will have teachers who keeping an eye on your kid; and the smart but lazy ones will be prodded by their attentive waiter to order a full course not just fill up on bread. But you will have a more limited and focused curriculum not the all you can eat buffet, but it should have depth and be somewhat curated to your child’s abilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is happier at his private than he was in public because the curriculum is more interesting, there is more participation in class discussions, and teachers do a better job of differentiating (not because they are better teachers but because there is less of a range within the class). I don't know or care if it will impact college admissions.

100%

[Anonymous]

We are doing private ES because it feels like it will be more supportive and gentle, with more play and exploration in the younger grades than our local public and because we can easily afford it. I don’t know if it will be better academically or socially or not and I’m not expecting some sort of big return on investment as far as academic outcomes or college admissions over the public schools. We just made a call. I don’t think it’s going to transform their life one way or the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think first class vs economy is probably the best of those analogies.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:✈️

Public school is coach.
Private school is business class.
Homeschool is first class.

Gross!! Homeschool is never at the top of the pyramid. . .unless you are incredibly wealthy and sailing around the world or living abroad for a few years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The different is an all you can eat buffet vs a sit down dinner with an attentive waiter and flexible chef.

You can get a lot out of public school, you can advance in math and science especially since so much of that is simply doing problems over and over again that are easy to check if correct and there is endless online resources. There are football teams and tons of sports for these huge schools, and lots of clubs. A self starting kid, especially one who is able to have parents reach out to professionals, tutors, and professors for enrichment will thrive. But it is possible they will overeat (ie get really advanced in math with little depth) and skip big parts of the meal (writing is very weak in public because teachers are in charge of 150 students so reading that many writing assignments is untenable; and the reading assignments are often passages not full novels or texts until AP/IB)

Private schools will have teachers who keeping an eye on your kid; and the smart but lazy ones will be prodded by their attentive waiter to order a full course not just fill up on bread. But you will have a more limited and focused curriculum not the all you can eat buffet, but it should have depth and be somewhat curated to your child’s abilities.

This is also a good one, well balanced meal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kind of silly analogy. We are moving to private. I am aware of the research that says private doesn't necessarily make a notable difference in academic outcomes. Ditto small class sizes. And yet, it feels like there's some intangible benefit and that the process to get from point A to point B is just...nicer and more lovely in private. Actually, it is tangible. At the end of the day, my kids may end up attending state schools, or the same schools they would have attended if we stayed in public. They're bright, and would do well in whatever setting. (Part of the move to private is for my own sanity--I did a lot of supplementing when they were in public, and decided it's worth it to just do less supplementing and put them in private) Still, I feel some ambivalence as someone who benefited from public schools growing up. That said, I know the public of 2025 is not the public of 1980s/90s.

It makes me think of how most of us grew up eating regular, non-organic fruit. I don't think I knew organic fruit existed till I was like...25? And we're fine. But we prefer to feed our kid organic when it's available and accessible/not exorbitantly priced. Is it that much better for our kids to eat organic? Hard to tell. But it feels better as a parent, to give them that. (Similar analogies would be the "difference" between breastfeeding and formula--which I think is really minimal though when I had newborns it felt like life/death, and between flying coach vs first class...everyone gets to the same place, but boy is first class nice, esp on a long flight.)

Oh absolutely, yes, this all tracks—and thank you for finally giving a name to what I’ve long suspected my educational choices truly are: organic fruit for the soul.

Because when I sat down with my partner to decide whether we would continue to entrust our children to the hands of our local public school—whose principal once wore Crocs and meant it—versus a private institution with a Latin motto and someone on staff whose full-time job is "director of belonging," we too thought: You know what this is like? The produce section.

Sure, the apples from the public school are still crisp. They're bright, shiny, and filled with nutrients. But were they grown on a biodynamic micro-orchard tended by a Montessori-trained goat named Silvio? Did they come pre-sliced in compostable hemp boxes, labeled with “curated snack experience”? No. No, they did not.

And just as we all somehow survived the Reagan-era with only Red Delicious and tap water, we now must pretend we aren’t gently microdosing privilege under the guise of “a nicer journey.” You know, a journey paved in felted wool rugs and curated author visits from someone who once made eye contact with Jacqueline Woodson.

Of course, we could have stuck with public school and continued the noble tradition of printing out 37 pages of supplemental math problems while wondering whether our child’s “Genius Hour” project will involve any actual genius. But instead, we opted to “do less supplementing” by outsourcing our guilt to a $42,000 tuition invoice and a gently passive-aggressive email from the Dean of Academic Flourishing.

Look, I’m not saying we’re better parents. I’m just saying we now live in a world where the kids get Latin, fencing, and lunchtime paella while we pretend we’re just doing what’s “accessible and not exorbitantly priced,” like organic fruit from Whole Foods, not Erewhon—we’re not monsters.

And yes, we know they might still go to a state school in the end, sharing a dorm with someone who used flashcards from a cereal box and did just fine. But we’ll always know—deep in our Ambivalently Ethical Hearts—that our child got to learn algebra in a room with a window and natural light.

So yes, everyone gets to the same destination.
But some of us arrive with a cashmere throw, an in-flight amuse-bouche, and a certificate of completion in “Mindful Inquiry.”

It’s not better. It just feels... lovelier.

This was awesome. Reminded me of Alexandra Petri (NCS/Harvard). If you went to public, your 12th grade English teacher would be very proud. And if you didn't, then I gather you might have a certificate in Mindful Inquiry. Well done!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:✈️

Public school is coach.
Private school is business class.
Homeschool is first class.

Gross!! Homeschool is never at the top of the pyramid. . .unless you are incredibly wealthy and sailing around the world or living abroad for a few years.

The education received during homeschool outranks any private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:✈️

Public school is coach.
Private school is business class.
Homeschool is first class.

Gross!! Homeschool is never at the top of the pyramid. . .unless you are incredibly wealthy and sailing around the world or living abroad for a few years.

The education received during homeschool outranks any private.

Maybe on it's technical merits, but not on the personal or social experience.

[Anonymous]

We went private bc my kids needed smaller class sizes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:✈️

Public school is coach.
Private school is business class.
Homeschool is first class.

Gross!! Homeschool is never at the top of the pyramid. . .unless you are incredibly wealthy and sailing around the world or living abroad for a few years.

The education received during homeschool outranks any private.

Sure, Jan.