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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Kind of silly analogy. We are moving to private. I am aware of the research that says private doesn't necessarily make a notable difference in academic outcomes. Ditto small class sizes. And yet, it feels like there's some intangible benefit and that the process to get from point A to point B is just...nicer and more lovely in private. Actually, it is tangible. At the end of the day, my kids may end up attending state schools, or the same schools they would have attended if we stayed in public. They're bright, and would do well in whatever setting. (Part of the move to private is for my own sanity--I did a lot of supplementing when they were in public, and decided it's worth it to just do less supplementing and put them in private) Still, I feel some ambivalence as someone who benefited from public schools growing up. That said, I know the public of 2025 is not the public of 1980s/90s.

It makes me think of how most of us grew up eating regular, non-organic fruit. I don't think I knew organic fruit existed till I was like...25? And we're fine. But we prefer to feed our kid organic when it's available and accessible/not exorbitantly priced. Is it that much better for our kids to eat organic? Hard to tell. But it feels better as a parent, to give them that. (Similar analogies would be the "difference" between breastfeeding and formula--which I think is really minimal though when I had newborns it felt like life/death, and between flying coach vs first class...everyone gets to the same place, but boy is first class nice, esp on a long flight.)  [/quote]

Oh absolutely, yes, this all tracks—and thank you for finally giving a name to what I’ve long suspected my educational choices truly are: organic fruit for the soul.

Because when I sat down with my partner to decide whether we would continue to entrust our children to the hands of our local public school—whose principal once wore Crocs and meant it—versus a private institution with a Latin motto and someone on staff whose full-time job is "director of belonging," we too thought: You know what this is like? The produce section.

Sure, the apples from the public school are still crisp. They're bright, shiny, and filled with nutrients. But were they grown on a biodynamic micro-orchard tended by a Montessori-trained goat named Silvio? Did they come pre-sliced in compostable hemp boxes, labeled with “curated snack experience”? No. No, they did not.

And just as we all somehow survived the Reagan-era with only Red Delicious and tap water, we now must pretend we aren’t gently microdosing privilege under the guise of “a nicer journey.” You know, a journey paved in felted wool rugs and curated author visits from someone who once made eye contact with Jacqueline Woodson.

Of course, we could have stuck with public school and continued the noble tradition of printing out 37 pages of supplemental math problems while wondering whether our child’s “Genius Hour” project will involve any actual genius. But instead, we opted to “do less supplementing” by outsourcing our guilt to a $42,000 tuition invoice and a gently passive-aggressive email from the Dean of Academic Flourishing.

Look, I’m not saying we’re better parents. I’m just saying we now live in a world where the kids get Latin, fencing, and lunchtime paella while we pretend we’re just doing what’s “accessible and not exorbitantly priced,” like organic fruit from Whole Foods, not Erewhon—we’re not monsters.

And yes, we know they might still go to a state school in the end, sharing a dorm with someone who used flashcards from a cereal box and did just fine. But we’ll always know—deep in our Ambivalently Ethical Hearts—that our child got to learn algebra in a room with a window and natural light.

So yes, everyone gets to the same destination.
But some of us arrive with a cashmere throw, an in-flight amuse-bouche, and a certificate of completion in “Mindful Inquiry.”

It’s not better. It just feels... lovelier.[/quote]

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