Almost 6 year old gets upset when we sing or dance?

[Anonymous]

He’s over stimulated. It’s not just the noise. It could be seeing the motion. How does he do with seeing objects in fast, erratic motion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The music could be soft or not even playing and he still gets upset about the dancing. And then I’ll stop dancing but his little sister will start swaying her head back and forth (dancing) in her car seat and he freaks out about that too.

Honestly, I'd tell him to get over it. We don't live in ... wherever Footloose was located, where dancing was illegal. People dance. People sing. He doesn't have to watch, he can have headphones, but he can't interrupt other people enjoying these activities. That's unacceptable behavior.

I wish it were that simple for kids on the spectrum. They don't just get over stuff like this. You work with them and their sensitivities.

Disagree. You work on tolerating discomfort. Of course, he can close his eyes and/or use headphones if it bothers him. What he cannot do is dictate other peoples behavior and preferences.

It’s not good to give any kid, ND or not, that level of control over the family. It can spiral.

And yes, I have a kid for whom this applies.

You disagree and then you just repead what I said which is "you work with them." Some of you just really like to see your own words and hear yourself talk.

Also, unless you have a kid with autism, please refrain from giving advice to those of us who do.

Ah yes your one child makes you an autism expert, nobody could possibly know anything unless they birthed one. 🙄

Are you the one who said he should be told to just get over it? If so, you really should refrain from giving ANYONE parenting advice.

And my one child makes me as much of an expert as anyone else drawing from experience of raising a child/ren on the spectrum.

No I’m not.

Your one child makes you an expert on your ONE child.

OMG you're insufferable. I never claimed to be an expert. I'm sharing my experiences like everyone else. If you want to piss in the wind, go to Reddit or another DCUM forum. In this one, we try to be helpful instead of pick dumb fights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually think it’s not typical to need to helicopter dressing at 9. Many ADHD kids do need scaffolding at that age, but typical kids do not. And with TV I think it is typical for kids to selectively hear your when watching at age 9 . . .

OP’s kid is 5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The music could be soft or not even playing and he still gets upset about the dancing. And then I’ll stop dancing but his little sister will start swaying her head back and forth (dancing) in her car seat and he freaks out about that too.

Honestly, I'd tell him to get over it. We don't live in ... wherever Footloose was located, where dancing was illegal. People dance. People sing. He doesn't have to watch, he can have headphones, but he can't interrupt other people enjoying these activities. That's unacceptable behavior.

I wish it were that simple for kids on the spectrum. They don't just get over stuff like this. You work with them and their sensitivities.

Disagree. You work on tolerating discomfort. Of course, he can close his eyes and/or use headphones if it bothers him. What he cannot do is dictate other peoples behavior and preferences.

It’s not good to give any kid, ND or not, that level of control over the family. It can spiral.

And yes, I have a kid for whom this applies.

You disagree and then you just repead what I said which is "you work with them." Some of you just really like to see your own words and hear yourself talk.

Also, unless you have a kid with autism, please refrain from giving advice to those of us who do.

Ah yes your one child makes you an autism expert, nobody could possibly know anything unless they birthed one. 🙄

Are you the one who said he should be told to just get over it? If so, you really should refrain from giving ANYONE parenting advice.

And my one child makes me as much of an expert as anyone else drawing from experience of raising a child/ren on the spectrum.

No I’m not.

Your one child makes you an expert on your ONE child.

OMG you're insufferable. I never claimed to be an expert. I'm sharing my experiences like everyone else. If you want to piss in the wind, go to Reddit or another DCUM forum. In this one, we try to be helpful instead of pick dumb fights.

Why did you state “ Also, unless you have a kid with autism, please refrain from giving advice to those of us who do”?

How is that helpful?

Seems to me like you were trying to pick a dumb fight.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a misophonia diagnosis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The music could be soft or not even playing and he still gets upset about the dancing. And then I’ll stop dancing but his little sister will start swaying her head back and forth (dancing) in her car seat and he freaks out about that too.

Honestly, I'd tell him to get over it. We don't live in ... wherever Footloose was located, where dancing was illegal. People dance. People sing. He doesn't have to watch, he can have headphones, but he can't interrupt other people enjoying these activities. That's unacceptable behavior.

I wish it were that simple for kids on the spectrum. They don't just get over stuff like this. You work with them and their sensitivities.

Disagree. You work on tolerating discomfort. Of course, he can close his eyes and/or use headphones if it bothers him. What he cannot do is dictate other peoples behavior and preferences.

It’s not good to give any kid, ND or not, that level of control over the family. It can spiral.

And yes, I have a kid for whom this applies.

You disagree and then you just repead what I said which is "you work with them." Some of you just really like to see your own words and hear yourself talk.

Also, unless you have a kid with autism, please refrain from giving advice to those of us who do.

Ah yes your one child makes you an autism expert, nobody could possibly know anything unless they birthed one. 🙄

Are you the one who said he should be told to just get over it? If so, you really should refrain from giving ANYONE parenting advice.

And my one child makes me as much of an expert as anyone else drawing from experience of raising a child/ren on the spectrum.

No I’m not.

Your one child makes you an expert on your ONE child.

OMG you're insufferable. I never claimed to be an expert. I'm sharing my experiences like everyone else. If you want to piss in the wind, go to Reddit or another DCUM forum. In this one, we try to be helpful instead of pick dumb fights.

Why did you state “ Also, unless you have a kid with autism, please refrain from giving advice to those of us who do”?

How is that helpful?

Seems to me like you were trying to pick a dumb fight.

I was responding to the poster saying, "I'd tell him to get over it." What helpful advice do you have for OP. We are eagerly waiting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The music could be soft or not even playing and he still gets upset about the dancing. And then I’ll stop dancing but his little sister will start swaying her head back and forth (dancing) in her car seat and he freaks out about that too.

Honestly, I'd tell him to get over it. We don't live in ... wherever Footloose was located, where dancing was illegal. People dance. People sing. He doesn't have to watch, he can have headphones, but he can't interrupt other people enjoying these activities. That's unacceptable behavior.

I wish it were that simple for kids on the spectrum. They don't just get over stuff like this. You work with them and their sensitivities.

Disagree. You work on tolerating discomfort. Of course, he can close his eyes and/or use headphones if it bothers him. What he cannot do is dictate other peoples behavior and preferences.

It’s not good to give any kid, ND or not, that level of control over the family. It can spiral.

And yes, I have a kid for whom this applies.

You disagree and then you just repead what I said which is "you work with them." Some of you just really like to see your own words and hear yourself talk.

Also, unless you have a kid with autism, please refrain from giving advice to those of us who do.

Ah yes your one child makes you an autism expert, nobody could possibly know anything unless they birthed one. 🙄

Are you the one who said he should be told to just get over it? If so, you really should refrain from giving ANYONE parenting advice.

And my one child makes me as much of an expert as anyone else drawing from experience of raising a child/ren on the spectrum.

No I’m not.

Your one child makes you an expert on your ONE child.

OMG you're insufferable. I never claimed to be an expert. I'm sharing my experiences like everyone else. If you want to piss in the wind, go to Reddit or another DCUM forum. In this one, we try to be helpful instead of pick dumb fights.

Why did you state “ Also, unless you have a kid with autism, please refrain from giving advice to those of us who do”?

How is that helpful?

Seems to me like you were trying to pick a dumb fight.

I was responding to the poster saying, "I'd tell him to get over it." What helpful advice do you have for OP. We are eagerly waiting.

I tried to help, she never answered my question. Which is NBD, but since I didn’t birth a human with ASD I’m clearly not welcome here anyways, according to you. So I’ll just leave now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The music could be soft or not even playing and he still gets upset about the dancing. And then I’ll stop dancing but his little sister will start swaying her head back and forth (dancing) in her car seat and he freaks out about that too.

Honestly, I'd tell him to get over it. We don't live in ... wherever Footloose was located, where dancing was illegal. People dance. People sing. He doesn't have to watch, he can have headphones, but he can't interrupt other people enjoying these activities. That's unacceptable behavior.

I wish it were that simple for kids on the spectrum. They don't just get over stuff like this. You work with them and their sensitivities.

Disagree. You work on tolerating discomfort. Of course, he can close his eyes and/or use headphones if it bothers him. What he cannot do is dictate other peoples behavior and preferences.

It’s not good to give any kid, ND or not, that level of control over the family. It can spiral.

And yes, I have a kid for whom this applies.

You disagree and then you just repead what I said which is "you work with them." Some of you just really like to see your own words and hear yourself talk.

Also, unless you have a kid with autism, please refrain from giving advice to those of us who do.

Ah yes your one child makes you an autism expert, nobody could possibly know anything unless they birthed one. 🙄

Are you the one who said he should be told to just get over it? If so, you really should refrain from giving ANYONE parenting advice.

And my one child makes me as much of an expert as anyone else drawing from experience of raising a child/ren on the spectrum.

No I’m not.

Your one child makes you an expert on your ONE child.

This is the case. Not only is it a spectrum of how severely a child is impacted, but no two have the exact same combo of triggers, atoms, special interests, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The music could be soft or not even playing and he still gets upset about the dancing. And then I’ll stop dancing but his little sister will start swaying her head back and forth (dancing) in her car seat and he freaks out about that too.

Honestly, I'd tell him to get over it. We don't live in ... wherever Footloose was located, where dancing was illegal. People dance. People sing. He doesn't have to watch, he can have headphones, but he can't interrupt other people enjoying these activities. That's unacceptable behavior.

This. Careful or you'll find you've raised a little emperor.

[Anonymous]

I would get headphones and be mindful of volume but this is not something you want to accommodate very much at all.

[Anonymous]

Is it possible that he thinks you're going to rock (derail) the car? Like maybe a memory from a ferris wheel or something affected by movement got stuck, but he's misassigning it and thinks your body momentum could affect the car's path? The little sister swaying still bothering him is what makes me think that.

Sometimes kids don't like high level emotions (happy or mad) and maybe your happy & dancing feels a little too intense or carefree for them.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you for all of the replies (minus the bickering that broke out mid thread 😉). At this point, based on what I’m solely reading here, I think this may just be a quirk, and I’m hoping he’ll outgrow it. In the meantime, I’ll keep my eye out for any other flags and make sure to bring it up with his pediatrician at his next appointment. I’m also going to try giving him headphones in the car and will try to see what happens when I tell him he needs to either close his eyes or go somewhere else if we can’t dance or sing around the house (not that this happens often). Depending on his reaction, I may escalate this to his pediatrician sooner rather than later. Would still love to hear any other comments/thoughts or opinions. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

OP, I would get a neuro-psych. My DC has both ASD and ADHD and this behavior seems like it may not be neurotypical. Bright side is if you do get a diagnosis, you can get strategies and majorly help your kid!

[Anonymous]

My daughter did this at the younger ages as well, but stopped by around age 7 and now loves singing and dancing. She is autistic.

[Anonymous]

My son loves music, at 2 he could barely talk
but would ask us to play Neil Diamond or CCR songs in the car. If we tried to sing along he would yell at us to stop. We later learned he’s got perfect pitch; so he knows and remembers exactly what the song is supposed to sound like and when our offpitch warbling hit his ears its nails on the chalkboard to him.