How do I get over my envy/jealousy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The truth that nobody seems aware of (despite their elite university education and career success) is that our culture is designed to make you feel inadequate and to convince you that material possessions will satiate that deep sense of envy. Basically we are all being brainwashed to spend money and consume useless products almost everywhere we turn in our society.

Even on this webpage right now I am being inundated with images and messages that are designed to make me feel envy and to solve my problems by making some sort of purchase.

The trick is to tune out the messages and outside influence. Don’t feel bad about failing to accomplish this because it is practically impossible. Just make sure to focus your ire and dissatisfaction towards those who control these cultural forces and stand to benefit from them. The wealthy and privileged few literally make all of their money by exploiting this dynamic and they don’t plan to change for your benefit anytime soon.

Emphasis on material possessions, no real connections, making our country and society ill. starts at a young age. Have seen it inside the homes of families where kids used to go for playdates and birthday parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cars? Seriously?

How gauche.

Everyone knows luxury car tells you zero about somebody’s net worth. lol

We own 3 homes- 1 million-2 million each. And from our old non-luxury cards people probably think we are living paycheck to paycheck. Zero debt. Full pay T10 colleges.

I would hate to be full time SAH. I’d lose my mind. Retired is something else entirely. That is going to be very enjoyable for us.

+1-- find new priorities if you are for real OP. My husband + I are multimillionaires yet we are city dwellers and have always had just one car. In your car world, people might think we were paupers.

[Anonymous]

I feel sorry for you to be so materialistic. Maybe visit less developed countries to gain more perspective.

[Anonymous]

OP - don't worry about it. I live in a nice, close-in neighborhood where it seems like everyone drives fancy cars.

I have always had practical Ford or GM sedans or small SUVs.

Literally no on cares what anyone else drives. So I guarantee no one is judging you.

I'm about to hit 50 and about to upgrade to a slightly nicer mass-market luxury SUV just to have something nice after all these years. But I'd be fine if I didn't. And so should you!

[Anonymous]

Focus on the things that you have that they do not.

Perhaps you do not have a monthly car payment?
Or you are not swamped in financial debt 💸 like they may be??

Or focus on what truly matters in this life: Good health for you + your family.

[Anonymous]

Use your feminine charm and steal one of those rich husbands.

[Anonymous]

Move
Increase your income
Save for the new car you want
Consider therapy to deal w your jealousy

[Anonymous]

I have zero jealousy about possessions. I am terribly envious of people in good social situations.
One woman I know has both sisters in law at our school and they are all best friends, vacation together, cousins love each other.
Another one joined the school same time as me and in no time at all has a tight social circle plus a best friend and their husbands run cub scouts together.
I don't even have anyone to sit with at an assembly. I keep making friends who move away. At this point I'm like "So when are you selling your house?" when I meet another mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Move , get therapy, and/or figure out how to change your life into something you want it to be.

Don't do something like buy a car just because. Don't try to convince yourself they aren't happy or try to pick apart their lives to make yourself feel better.

Work on yourself. You're unhappy with yourself and your life. Fix it.

This. Being envious of others means there is a void in your life that needs addressing. Or you are too consumer crap driven, which is embarrassingly low IQ.

[Anonymous]

Fwiw my DH and I drive old crummy cars…but we travel throughout the year while our neighbors and friends with much nicer cars take one or two basic vacations.

People prioritize different things.

Find what makes you happy and focus on that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The truth that nobody seems aware of (despite their elite university education and career success) is that our culture is designed to make you feel inadequate and to convince you that material possessions will satiate that deep sense of envy. Basically we are all being brainwashed to spend money and consume useless products almost everywhere we turn in our society.

Even on this webpage right now I am being inundated with images and messages that are designed to make me feel envy and to solve my problems by making some sort of purchase.

The trick is to tune out the messages and outside influence. Don’t feel bad about failing to accomplish this because it is practically impossible. Just make sure to focus your ire and dissatisfaction towards those who control these cultural forces and stand to benefit from them. The wealthy and privileged few literally make all of their money by exploiting this dynamic and they don’t plan to change for your benefit anytime soon.

Emphasis on material possessions, no real connections, making our country and society ill. starts at a young age. Have seen it inside the homes of families where kids used to go for playdates and birthday parties.

This.
Have been to parties where the parents rented out part of an amusement park.
The moms all clad in their prada, vuitton. little girls in mini versions of designer gear. Everyone trying to one up each other.
It was sad & empty.

You get over envy by being true to yourself
by doing something for someone with less than you have
by not comparing yourself with those with more, bigger

Suerte

[Anonymous]

Oh dear.

[Anonymous]

Lol

[Anonymous]

Jealousy and envy will eat you alive. Think about what you have that you wouldn't part with for any amount of money, your children. Are they happy, healthy, and thriving? Count your Blessings.

Here is Bing Crosby singing Count your Blessings 😁

https://youtu.be/S3OAcHaTMP4?si=o1JmVNoNf1ek8qkE

[Anonymous]

If it makes you feel better, my friend who is a SAHM and drives a big luxury SUV got it because her husband bought it for her and brought it home. She had no input on size, make, color, features, anything. That made me shiver with the thought of having so little control of my life because I didn't have my own money.