How would you approach this in college essay

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not. Here is why:

You said:

But their lgbtq students were open so DC made friends in their circle although DC themselves is not self-identified as lgbtq. We're happy to see that because this experience made DC a more authentic and kind person.

I asked:

How did this experience make your kid a more authentic and kind person.

You answered: “We later learned that the popular kids group doing lots of partying, into expensive clothing, situation relationship, etc.”

You are trying to connect something (what I asked “how”about) to this club with marginalized people. No, this dir not make your kid kinder or more authentic. Your kid was looking for friends and he found them.

But he found them among other kids who (likely) understood the struggle for acceptance.

[Anonymous]

“I was forced to make friends with gay people and I realized they aren’t such freaks after all.”

Yeah, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC transferred in 9th grade to a private high school. Many existing students were cliquey and didn’t want to interact with new students. But their lgbtq students were open so DC made friends in their circle although DC themselves is not self-identified as lgbtq. We're happy to see that because this experience made DC a more authentic and kind person. Is this a good topic for diversity essay in college application? Would it backfire? How would you approach (or not) this?

It says, "I wasn't an authentic and kind person until I met LGBTQ students." Or it says, "Look at how authentic and kind I am because I'm friends with LGBTQ students." Terrible, patronizing topic.

Your take is ridiculous.

It's OP's take that's ridiculous. OP said: "But their lgbtq students were open so DC made friends in their circle although DC themselves is not self-identified as lgbtq. We're happy to see that because this experience made DC a more authentic and kind person"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC transferred in 9th grade to a private high school. Many existing students were cliquey and didn’t want to interact with new students. But their lgbtq students were open so DC made friends in their circle although DC themselves is not self-identified as lgbtq. We're happy to see that because this experience made DC a more authentic and kind person. Is this a good topic for diversity essay in college application? Would it backfire? How would you approach (or not) this?

There are 2 ways to do this.

1. Explain a time when your kid felt "othered", and how it made them feel. Show (don't tell) how it made kid open up to different people and experiences. Now kid wants to bring that thing that had first made DC feel othered to xyz school, where DC will learn/accept/champion those who are both similar and different than DC by doing xyz. This is the more traditional route by talking about specific examples of when DC was excluded or microaggressions the kid has faced, that's now made DC more empathetic and someone who stands up for others by doing abc - and that's what DC brings to campus.

or

2. It's about your kid's own experiences and how they have shaped DC and what they'll bring to campus. don't think about diversity LITERALLY. That's a TRAP. Any unique hobbies or life experiences? go outside the box. nowhere does it say you have to "identify" with a marginalized group. You can write about anything (being part of a super affectionate loving family; having a long bus commute to school daily; being a member of a religious community that is super observant (or not at all), being a knitter, being a thrifter or dumpster diver etc)....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC transferred in 9th grade to a private high school. Many existing students were cliquey and didn’t want to interact with new students. But their lgbtq students were open so DC made friends in their circle although DC themselves is not self-identified as lgbtq. We're happy to see that because this experience made DC a more authentic and kind person. Is this a good topic for diversity essay in college application? Would it backfire? How would you approach (or not) this?

Unless this experience turned DC from closet to openly gay, DC won’t get points no matter how he spins it. Nothing there about diversity.

[Anonymous]

Oh god. No. It sounds fake

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, that’s not a good essay topic. And if it is, get me off this train.

Controversial topics. Nope. Not good. And some lbgtq might take offense to it …they might b a reader

[Anonymous]

Do you think AOs will be touched by a story of this “authentic and kind” guy who is probably closet. Nah, nothing in this makes him stand out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC transferred in 9th grade to a private high school. Many existing students were cliquey and didn’t want to interact with new students. But their lgbtq students were open so DC made friends in their circle although DC themselves is not self-identified as lgbtq. We're happy to see that because this experience made DC a more authentic and kind person. Is this a good topic for diversity essay in college application? Would it backfire? How would you approach (or not) this?

It says, "I wasn't an authentic and kind person until I met LGBTQ students." Or it says, "Look at how authentic and kind I am because I'm friends with LGBTQ students." Terrible, patronizing topic.

Your take is ridiculous.

DP. Nope. I thought the sane thing—pandering, virtue signaling,

[Anonymous]

Focus on DC's growth in empathy and community-building (with the LGBTQ+ friendship as only one example of how they learned to connect across differences).

This story could (potentially) make for a thoughtful diversity essay if approached with the right (soft) touch (which might be hard to do well without an editor). There might be something beautiful in how DC learned about friendship and belonging through a chance or unexpected connections.

What might make this compelling:
The heart of the essay lies in DC's movement from 'outsider' to someone who understands what it means to be 'welcomed' or 'included'. Being new taught DC to notice other people who might be sitting on the fringe/at the edges, waiting for someone to see them. Imo, this isn't really about any particular (diverse) community. It's about learning that connection/being seen/real friendship happens only if we stop making assumptions about who 'belongs'.

How to tell this story so it doesn't offend:
- Start with the rawness of being new.
- Let readers feel what it's like to walk into a cafeteria where every table seems closed off, where conversations pause or stop entirely when you approach (that feeling of not knowing where you fit is something most people remember well)
- When you write about the friendships that formed, make sure they feel mutual: DC didn't just find acceptance. DC found friends who saw something worth knowing in return. Show what DC brought to these relationships, not just what DC received (it has to be two-way - and you need to explain the "why").
- The larger story here is about how being excluded teaches you to include others - now and in the future. Maybe now DC learned to spot the kids who eat lunch alone, or figured out how to make space for different voices in group projects or even in certain ECs.
- The question for the essay becomes: how did this experience change the way DC moves through the world?

What to watch out for:
Don't let it sound like DC is borrowing someone else's story or struggle. Avoid positioning DC as the person who saved anyone, or anyone as the person who saved DC. Keep the focus on perspective and values rather than claiming a kind of diversity that isn't DC's to claim.

The best version of this essay will feel like it's about growing up and learning to build the kind of community DC wishes had been there from the start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC transferred in 9th grade to a private high school. Many existing students were cliquey and didn’t want to interact with new students. But their lgbtq students were open so DC made friends in their circle although DC themselves is not self-identified as lgbtq. We're happy to see that because this experience made DC a more authentic and kind person. Is this a good topic for diversity essay in college application? Would it backfire? How would you approach (or not) this?

This would not work. Your DC does not add any diversity to the colleges he is applying to. Being lgbtq it’s so common these days.

He will need to denounce something someone. I have seen that worked. Asian kids denounce their culture and traditions, condemning their parents. Or a kid from a conservative family chose to undergo transgender procedures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is fine. As long as your child uses their authentic voice (not an adult’s).

(Obviously your child should be careful to avoid stereotypes or overgeneralizing. )

The entire concept is a giant stereotype.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Focus on DC's growth in empathy and community-building (with the LGBTQ+ friendship as only one example of how they learned to connect across differences).

This story could (potentially) make for a thoughtful diversity essay if approached with the right (soft) touch (which might be hard to do well without an editor). There might be something beautiful in how DC learned about friendship and belonging through a chance or unexpected connections.

What might make this compelling:
The heart of the essay lies in DC's movement from 'outsider' to someone who understands what it means to be 'welcomed' or 'included'. Being new taught DC to notice other people who might be sitting on the fringe/at the edges, waiting for someone to see them. Imo, this isn't really about any particular (diverse) community. It's about learning that connection/being seen/real friendship happens only if we stop making assumptions about who 'belongs'.

How to tell this story so it doesn't offend:
- Start with the rawness of being new.
- Let readers feel what it's like to walk into a cafeteria where every table seems closed off, where conversations pause or stop entirely when you approach (that feeling of not knowing where you fit is something most people remember well)
- When you write about the friendships that formed, make sure they feel mutual: DC didn't just find acceptance. DC found friends who saw something worth knowing in return. Show what DC brought to these relationships, not just what DC received (it has to be two-way - and you need to explain the "why").
- The larger story here is about how being excluded teaches you to include others - now and in the future. Maybe now DC learned to spot the kids who eat lunch alone, or figured out how to make space for different voices in group projects or even in certain ECs.
- The question for the essay becomes: how did this experience change the way DC moves through the world?

What to watch out for:
Don't let it sound like DC is borrowing someone else's story or struggle. Avoid positioning DC as the person who saved anyone, or anyone as the person who saved DC. Keep the focus on perspective and values rather than claiming a kind of diversity that isn't DC's to claim.

The best version of this essay will feel like it's about growing up and learning to build the kind of community DC wishes had been there from the start.

I saw a show like this recently, it was called Mean Girls. 😆

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Focus on DC's growth in empathy and community-building (with the LGBTQ+ friendship as only one example of how they learned to connect across differences).

This story could (potentially) make for a thoughtful diversity essay if approached with the right (soft) touch (which might be hard to do well without an editor). There might be something beautiful in how DC learned about friendship and belonging through a chance or unexpected connections.

What might make this compelling:
The heart of the essay lies in DC's movement from 'outsider' to someone who understands what it means to be 'welcomed' or 'included'. Being new taught DC to notice other people who might be sitting on the fringe/at the edges, waiting for someone to see them. Imo, this isn't really about any particular (diverse) community. It's about learning that connection/being seen/real friendship happens only if we stop making assumptions about who 'belongs'.

How to tell this story so it doesn't offend:
- Start with the rawness of being new.
- Let readers feel what it's like to walk into a cafeteria where every table seems closed off, where conversations pause or stop entirely when you approach (that feeling of not knowing where you fit is something most people remember well)
- When you write about the friendships that formed, make sure they feel mutual: DC didn't just find acceptance. DC found friends who saw something worth knowing in return. Show what DC brought to these relationships, not just what DC received (it has to be two-way - and you need to explain the "why").
- The larger story here is about how being excluded teaches you to include others - now and in the future. Maybe now DC learned to spot the kids who eat lunch alone, or figured out how to make space for different voices in group projects or even in certain ECs.
- The question for the essay becomes: how did this experience change the way DC moves through the world?

What to watch out for:
Don't let it sound like DC is borrowing someone else's story or struggle. Avoid positioning DC as the person who saved anyone, or anyone as the person who saved DC. Keep the focus on perspective and values rather than claiming a kind of diversity that isn't DC's to claim.

The best version of this essay will feel like it's about growing up and learning to build the kind of community DC wishes had been there from the start.

How did the kid grow? The parent repeated info back which showed no growth. The kids in the club weren’t partiers. Neither was kid. You’re forcing it to Work by spoon feeding answers. the reflection and growth is entirely made up.

[Anonymous]

The lgbtq diversity essay is out of fashion now, particularly with maga in rein. We have a transgender (from a young age) at our school this year, everyone was surprised that they didn’t get into HYP.

FGLI and URM are still institutional priorities this year. Not sure if it holds next year.