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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Focus on [b]DC's growth in empathy and community-building[/b] (with the LGBTQ+ friendship as only one example of how they learned to connect across differences).

This story could (potentially) make for a thoughtful diversity essay if approached with the right (soft) touch (which might be hard to do well without an editor). There might be something beautiful in how DC [b]learned about friendship and belonging through a chance or unexpected connections.[/b]

What might make this compelling: 
The heart of the essay lies in [b]DC's movement from 'outsider' to someone who understands what it means to be 'welcomed' or 'included'. Being new taught DC to notice other people who might be sitting on the fringe/at the edges, waiting for someone to see them. [/b]Imo, this isn't really about any particular (diverse) community. It's about learning that connection/being seen/real friendship happens only if we stop making assumptions about who 'belongs'.

How to tell this story so it doesn't offend:
- Start with the rawness of being new. 
- Let readers feel what it's like to walk into a cafeteria where every table seems closed off, where conversations pause or stop entirely when you approach (that feeling of not knowing where you fit is something most people remember well)
- When you write about the friendships that formed, make sure they feel mutual: DC didn't just find acceptance. DC found friends who saw something worth knowing in return. Show what DC brought to these relationships, not just what DC received (it has to be two-way - and you need to explain the "why").
- The larger story here is about how being excluded teaches you to include others - now and in the future. Maybe now DC learned to spot the kids who eat lunch alone, or figured out how to make space for different voices in group projects or even in certain ECs. 
- The question for the essay becomes: how did this experience change the way DC moves through the world?

What to watch out for:
Don't let it sound like DC is borrowing someone else's story or struggle. Avoid positioning DC as the person who saved anyone, or anyone as the person who saved DC. Keep the focus on perspective and values rather than claiming a kind of diversity that isn't DC's to claim.

The best version of this essay will feel like it's about growing up and learning to build the kind of community DC wishes had been there from the start.[/quote]

How did the kid grow? The parent repeated info back which showed no growth. The kids in the club weren’t partiers. Neither was kid. You’re forcing it to Work by spoon feeding answers. the reflection and growth is entirely made up.[/quote]

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