Parents and coaches keep calling my kid tiny

[Anonymous]

Op, your complaint is that kids that are taller are getting starts in . . . basketball? And you think this is "size bias?"

OK.

I suppose you think that taking the smartest kids for Quiz Bowl is a sign of "intellect bias," as well?

Just when I think DCUM parents can't get any more ridiculous, someone comes along and says, "hold my beer."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, your complaint is that kids that are taller are getting starts in . . . basketball? And you think this is "size bias?"

OK.

I suppose you think that taking the smartest kids for Quiz Bowl is a sign of "intellect bias," as well?

Just when I think DCUM parents can't get any more ridiculous, someone comes along and says, "hold my beer."

This isn’t high school. I don’t see any correlation between height and skills or ability in basketball at age 10.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are in upper elementary and dealing with some size bias- have heard from multiple coaches, parents and even kids “he’s really good but tiny” He’s in the 95 percentile for height, but he goes to a private school most of the boys are redshirted and he’s turning 10 in July. He’s 85 lbs and incoming 5th grade so not small by any means but small in his peer group because many are 11 already. Has anyone dealt with this? I don’t want him to get passed up for these and it feels like he has to show up and have better skills because he’s small compared to most of the kids. When does this start to even out and not matter? These are in team sports that size matters later and there is a general preference for bigger kids now.

In sports?? Never. Size and physical attributes will always matter. Why would you expect otherwise?

And I say that as the parent of smaller kids.

[Anonymous]

I would not be shy in the slightest to tell them all exactly what you said: “actually, he’s 95th percentile for height but unfortunately it looks like everyone here made their boys start school a year late.”

[Anonymous]

Sometimes the truth can be painful to hear.

Good thing this is only about youth athletics, which are inconsequential.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, your complaint is that kids that are taller are getting starts in . . . basketball? And you think this is "size bias?"

OK.

I suppose you think that taking the smartest kids for Quiz Bowl is a sign of "intellect bias," as well?

Just when I think DCUM parents can't get any more ridiculous, someone comes along and says, "hold my beer."

This isn’t high school. I don’t see any correlation between height and skills or ability in basketball at age 10.

I do dumbo

I really don’t. The kids are no where near the basket at this age. You’re really immature. He’s also not small. 95 percentile means he’s taller than 95/100 children his age, but 1.5 years makes a difference if he’s being compared directly with kids who were born February 2014 and his birthday is summer 2015. His projected height is well over 6’.

[Anonymous]

If he is motivated to improve his skills to make up for the size issue now, he's going to be a beast once he's on the other side of the puberty growth spurt.

[Anonymous]

He will be great at a light weight wrestler. Sometimes it doesn't even out. My son was always smaller, but full of muscle. Wrestling was perfect, and he was on varsity right away in high school because they needed small guys to round out the team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not be shy in the slightest to tell them all exactly what you said: “actually, he’s 95th percentile for height but unfortunately it looks like everyone here made their boys start school a year late.”

I wouldn't say the above.

I know nothing about football. Basketball is tough. Teams are small. Not many play at a time. There are definitely people who redshirt so their boys (and girls) can be more successful in sports, especially for private school. Another chance is coming up to hold your kid back and repeat 8th grade. People actually do this. Not much people here can tell you about kids "catching up." Look at genetics and family history. When did your husband hit his growth spurt? Most good private school teams in this area are dominated by Black players. I wouldn't expect much action for an average to tall white kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes the truth can be painful to hear.

Good thing this is only about youth athletics, which are inconsequential.

It’s short sighted to focus on developing the largest kids (especially when they are just older) and some may top out at 5’6. In a private school that the kids will likely stay all the way through it’s not a smart move. I also believe in developing kids equally at this age especially on a school team. This isn’t a Varsity HS team, it is 5th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
This isn’t high school. I don’t see any correlation between height and skills or ability in basketball at age 10.

You clearly know nothing about basketball if you think height isn't a huge advantage at any level.

[Anonymous]

Those people sound absurd. Your son is tall and thin. That’s it. My kids are the same way. It’s genetic. It might not be an advantage for certain sports but it’s a good build for others. And those “big” kids will struggle to not be overweight as adults while the thin kids will get to coast on being genetically lean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not be shy in the slightest to tell them all exactly what you said: “actually, he’s 95th percentile for height but unfortunately it looks like everyone here made their boys start school a year late.”

I wouldn't say the above.

I know nothing about football. Basketball is tough. Teams are small. Not many play at a time. There are definitely people who redshirt so their boys (and girls) can be more successful in sports, especially for private school. Another chance is coming up to hold your kid back and repeat 8th grade. People actually do this. Not much people here can tell you about kids "catching up." Look at genetics and family history. When did your husband hit his growth spurt? Most good private school teams in this area are dominated by Black players. I wouldn't expect much action for an average to tall white kid.

Making your kid waste a year of their education so they can have a chance to be on a high school basketball team with a bunch of people who basically cheated to get there is literally the dumbest thing I can think of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes the truth can be painful to hear.

Good thing this is only about youth athletics, which are inconsequential.

It’s short sighted to focus on developing the largest kids (especially when they are just older) and some may top out at 5’6. In a private school that the kids will likely stay all the way through it’s not a smart move. I also believe in developing kids equally at this age especially on a school team. This isn’t a Varsity HS team, it is 5th grade.

It is indeed very short sighted but it is still what 90% of coaches do anyway. When those kids don’t pan out size-wise (this will be the case for many of them) they too will struggle for playing time or be cut. It is the way it works.

If your kid is on the small side, he will have to work harder than the others, and bide his time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread blows my mind, LOL. An 85lb 5th grader is not small.

My older DS was 93lbs as a 14yo 8th grader. He is now 6’2”.

Boys grow at VERY different rates. Many of the “big kids” at this age will not remain so.

Yes, there will always be a bias towards larger kids in sports.

You see, it’s all relative because my first thought is what is OP talking about? 85 lbs in 5th grade is tiny. My kids were both bigger than that. Sure there are kids much smaller but some much bigger. I think mine were at the 99th and around 80th or so percentile.

Now in HS, one of my kids is on the short side and the other is in the 90th percentile. You can’t predict anything by 5th grade heights or 5th grade sports performance.

One of mine isn’t even playing sports anymore and the other has switch the sport completely.