Handling college age kids' friends/SO

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids aren't that old yet, but I expect I'll have a firm 11 pm curfew, which means they are home by 11 while living at my house, and they can't have guests over after 11 pm while living at my house.

Thereby ensuring they spend as little time at home as possible once they leave for college. Well done.

Doubtful. See post above at 22:07. Not that poster, but I agree.

[Anonymous]

GF is a loser hence don’t make it so easy

She’s out by midnight

If she can not respect that then you raised a twat who is not an adult and not ready for adult sleep lovers. He should be confident enough to say to his GF my parents need you out of here by midnights

Why is he dating a loser ?

[Anonymous]

Because she's gorgeous.

[Anonymous]

It's your house. I think whatever you are comfortable with is reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you all do about schedules and having friends/SOs over? We work and need to get up. Kids work in the afternoons fwiw.

The issue is college age DS' GF of 6 mos (from the same town) is over ALL the time. While she's pleasant and they're mostly quiet, except for last night's shuffling around at 4am, we would like our house back. She is a year older, not in college and doesn't have much going on which is another issue.

We don't allow sleepovers since I don't want another person in my house in the mornings and request that they leave/come home around 1 or 2am. They forgot again and slept over.

What's a reasonable compromise?

You didn't mentioned your "adult" kid's age or if he's in college (making it a temp. thing) or if he's an adult kid just working and living at home.

I think the expectations should have been placed before the girlfriend started coming around or early on to avoid these issues. However, you need to be firm right now. It's plain disrespectful.

[Anonymous]

I guess we are in the minority but sometimes ds sleeps at his girlfriend's. Not my idea but her mom does not mind and I personally would rather he do that than drive home at night. The girlfriend has not slept over at our place just because it hasn't come up but she is over frequently with ds. Honestly my #1 concern is just having a good, welcoming relationship with my kids' significant others because I have a terrible one with my in-laws. I don't want to be like them, cold and not feeling like "home". It helps that dh's girlfriend is absolutely wonderful and dd loves her, my parents, even in-laws.

[Anonymous]

Summer after high school, no overnights. But then DS went far away to college where hometown gf visited a couple times. And they have gone on Spring Break together. Next summer she could stay over but had to sleep in guest room on different floor and DS slept his in room and needed to be there by 1am. But otherwise when going out, just needed to let us know but no curfew. He let us know that the bedroom rule was stupid and made no sense to which we agreed but just told him, wait until you have kids-you will not feel comfortable have their SO and them sleep in same bed in your house even though you know they have in other situations. It is an awkward conversation because it isn’t really a position, we clearly know that they have “overnighted” together.